Hey everybody! Welcome back to Concierge Weight Loss. Today, we are talking about something that honestly keeps so many women stuck in guilt.
Shame. And all or nothing eating. And that is this idea that food makes you…
good or bad.
Successful or failing, on or off track.
I think women are caring way too much emotional weight around food.
Because somewhere along the way, we learned salads are good,
Fries are bad.
A healthy day is a successful day, and dessert is a failure.
And eventually, women stop judging just the food. They start judging themselves.
I cannot tell you how many women come into coaching and basically start every conversation with what I
call a food confession.
They'll say, I was really bad this week.
Ugh, I cheated! I blew it.
I ruined everything. I shouldn't have eaten that, I know.
And honestly, sometimes I want to lovingly just shake them, because one day, I finally looked at a client, and I said, girl,
You didn't murder anyone, you ate some french fries.
And she laughed, but honestly,
In that moment mattered, because she realized how dramatic and emotionally heavy eating
had become for her. And this happens because so many women have spent years treating food
like, morality. Like, like, they are good or bad. They, you know, they were, um, a sinner or a saint.
Like, eating determines whether they're the good or the bad.
And the problem with that is when food becomes
emotional morality, eating becomes exhausting.
Now, every meal feels loaded. Every decision feels important.
Every mistake feels personal.
And then what happens? They spiral.
Because once they think I've already ruined it, it turns into, well, just forget it, I'll start over tomorrow. I'll start on Monday.
I already blew the whole day.
And honestly, that thinking creates way more overeating than the french fries ever did.
One of the biggest things I work on with clients is helping them stop attaching that good or bad to food.
Because food is not a moral issue.
You are not a better person because you ate a salad, and you are not a failure because you had some pizza.
You are a human being making food decisions in real life.
And real life includes
Stress, exhaustion…
some social events, right?
convenience foods,
Definitely some cravings.
We have busy schedules and vacations and birthdays, and…
We want dessert. That is normal.
I think a lot of women are trying to force themselves into…
some type of unrealistic version of healthy eating.
They want weight loss so bad that they think healthy eating means
perfect meals.
something off of a Martha Stewart show, right? No processed foods, cooking every meal themselves, never eating out.
Definitely salads all the time.
and strict food rules.
And then, when they can't maintain that…
They think that they failed!
But what if healthy eating?
And normal eating could coexist.
What if you COULD care about your health,
and eat supportive foods.
And enjoy some desserts and pizza nights.
Um, maybe eat fast food sometimes, and still…
lose weight.
That's what sustainable eating actually looks like. That's what being a normal eater looks like.
So, now this is where good, better, best kind of comes in. It's a framework that I love to apply to a lot of things.
And the reason I love this framework is because it helps women stop thinking in those extremes.
We're not perfect or terrible, we're not healthy or unhealthy, or success or failure.
But instead, just what's the next supportive choice available to me right now?
That question changes everything, because suddenly, women stop feeling trapped by perfection.
So let's break it down. Good. Good is honestly anything you enjoy. Yes, anything.
Because no food is morally bad.
No… now, does that mean every food supports your body equally? No, we know that.
But morality and nutrition are not the same thing.
Cake is not evil, french fries are not evil, pizza is not the devil.
Food is food. And then we have better. Better is where women start to make supportive upgrades without restriction.
Not punishment, not misery, not elimination. Just supportive choices. So maybe that might look like grilled chicken instead of breaded chicken.
Uh, leaving the cheese off a sandwich.
a side salad instead of french fries.
Sometimes. Or a slice of pizza with a salad instead of 4 slices of pizza.
And maybe we pick water more often than we do other options.
smaller portions, when that feels right, too.
And honestly, women dismiss these tiny upgrades all the time.
They think it's not… it's not enough, it's not perfect, it barely counts. It's not gonna do anything.
But all these tiny choices are huge, and they add up.
Because they build confidence, they build trust, they teach women, I can support myself without punishing myself.
And that matters. It matters a lot.
So, best. Best is when women intentionally choose foods that feel the most nourishing and supportive in their body.
Maybe you're choosing foods with more protein or more fiber, more of a whole food type item.
More vegetables. Foods that help energy and fullness. It's what we used to think of as clean eating, or…
The healthy eating for weight loss.
But here's the important thing. Best should not become perfection, and it doesn't need to be all the time.
Because I think this is where we get stuck.
We think, well, if vegetables are best, then I should only eat vegetables.
And then, you're gonna rebel, because I know I do, I would totally rebel on that, and I did, because I tried that for years. I thought that's what I needed to do to lose weight.
Because restriction, that's what creates that rebellion.
I think healthy eating should support your life, not consume it.
And honestly, a lot of women are trying so hard to eat healthy,
That eating has become mentally exhausting. They overthink what they can and cannot have.
what they should and should not have.
how much they're allowed to eat, whether something is healthy enough, whether they ruined the day.
And emotionally, they're drained.
I think one of the most freeing things women can learn is this. You do not need to earn food.
You do not need to work out to deserve dessert,
or starve earlier in the day to justify pizza at night.
Or be good before a vacation, or during, or even after a vacation. You just do your thing.
And definitely, we don't need to punish ourselves for eating something fun.
That cycle, it will keep you stuck.
I think cheat days are a huge example of this. I do not support cheat days.
Women spend all week restricting, and then the weekend comes, and they say,
It's cheat day, I can finally have something I actually want.
And because they're overeating,
Suddenly…
Not because they're hungry, they're just overeating because they feel deprived.
That's not freedom. That's…
That's survival eating? One of my clients said something really interesting once.
When she was finally stopped telling herself she couldn't have certain foods, she realized she didn't even want them as often as she thought she did.
I see this all the time. When food loses that power, that emotional grip that it has,
Women become calmer around it. They stop panicking.
They stop overeating every chance they get.
They stopped treating food like a reward or rebellion, or…
like, for comfort, punishment, proof of success or failure.
And instead, food just becomes food.
And that's where consistency gets easier, because consistency is really hard when every meal
is so loaded emotionally.
I also want to say this. Healthy eating does matter. Nutrition, it does matter.
I absolutely want women eating foods that help them feel energized and stay full longer and support their health and feel physically good.
But healthy eating should feel…
easy. It should feel supportive, not suffocating.
Most women don't fail because they had pizza. They fail because they think pizza means that they've ruined everything else, that they can't lose weight.
And that they're not successful with that, so you might as well just quit.
That's very different. So this week…
I want you to start noticing some things.
Where are you labeling your food, good or bad?
Which foods are you labeling good and bad?
Um, where are you labeling yourself as good or bad?
Is it when you do certain things, or don't do other things?
Um, what tiny…
upgrades can you practice? Like, where can… I call them level-ups, like, where can you just level up, upgrade just a little bit? Where could you do that this week?
Um, look at it! Where are you expecting some perfection instead of just consistency?
And if you don't know the difference between perfection and consistency,
Come talk to me. We will make that super clear, because we are not perfect, we are human beings.
By definition, we are not human.
perfections. We are human, and we are fallible, and we have…
to look for consistency, not perfection.
So, what would it feel like to stop punishing yourself? Stop punishing yourself around food, stop punishing yourself when you…
Do it right or wrong. Just stop punishing yourself.
So, sustainable weight loss is not about becoming perfect. It's about becoming someone who can make
supportive decisions consistently, without spiraling.
And that is a real skill.
That's exactly the kind of thing that I work with my coaching clients.
Not on a perfect meal plan, or I'm not food policing you, and I'm definitely not food-guilting you.
Real-life support. Support for when you have emotions, when you're emotionally overeating.
When you start falling into some of that perfectionism,
Or the all-or-nothing, or when you're…
Living in food guilt. And then we work towards building some consistency, building some trust around food.
Women do not need more shame. You do not.
You need support. So, if this episode hit home for you, and you're tired of constantly feeling good or bad around food,
I'd love to help you figure out what realistic eating could look like for your life.
You can book a free personalized solutions call.
at www.coachingkara.com/freecall
And if this episode helped you, share it with a friend who needs to hear that French fries do not determine
Her worth as a human. Alright, friend!
I will talk to you next week.
