09:20:56 Hey, hey, friend! Welcome back to the Concierge Weight Loss Podcast. I'm Kara Hackleman, and this is the second episode.
09:21:03 In our mindset for Success series. Last week, we talked about self-sabotage, and today, we're diving into something every single one of us experiences at some point on this journey.
09:21:14 Setbacks. Big ones, little ones, unexpected ones. Totally self-inflicted ones, they all count.
09:21:22 And today, I want to show you how to bounce back from them with compassion.
09:21:27 And confidence, and even forward with momentum. Because here's the truth. Resilience isn't about avoiding setbacks. It's about what you do next.
09:21:36 So, let's talk about how to build that bounce-back muscle, shall we?
09:21:41 Okay, let me get vulnerable with you for just a second, because this one's not from 10 years ago.
09:21:47 It's… it's… it's happened to me more recently. I, uh… a little over a year ago.
09:21:55 I regained about half of the total weight that I had lost. Yeah.
09:22:00 As a weight loss coach, gaining weight. And let me tell you, I panicked.
09:22:05 The self-talk? It was brutal. See? You're a fraud. You're not even good enough.
09:22:10 You should be better than this. Why would they listen to you?
09:22:14 I even thought maybe I need to find a new diet, or one that I'll actually stick with this time.
09:22:20 Does that all sound familiar? I know I'm the coach, I'm not supposed to have that happen to me, right?
09:22:25 But I paused, I took a breath, and I remembered something important.
09:22:29 I already knew what to do. My brain was just freaking out.
09:22:34 I already had the habits that helped me lose weight before.
09:22:38 I just stopped doing some of them. And that didn't make me broken.
09:22:43 Or less than, not good enough. It just meant I needed to figure out maybe why I wasn't doing them anymore.
09:22:49 Start trying to practice them again, right? So instead of obsessing over specific foods again.
09:22:56 I looked at why. Why behind the habits, the why. Why wasn't I following?
09:23:02 The habits, or following through with what I said I would do.
09:23:05 Why was I overeating again, or so much? And the answer wasn't lack of discipline.
09:23:11 It was emotion, stress, and disconnection, mental burnout, things. That needed care, not criticism.
09:23:20 That was my bounce-back moment. Not a new plan, not a new diet, or something new and shiny, not a new meal tracker. It was just me.
09:23:30 Me checking in with me. Let's redefine.
09:23:35 Let's redefine it. Resilience. Resilience isn't about being tough. It's about pushing through at all costs.
09:23:42 It's about your willingness. To try again.
09:23:46 Look at the mess, the mistake, the missed days, and say, okay.
09:23:51 I'm still here. What now? Resilience means trying something new.
09:23:58 Trying a different combination. Trying again, just to learn something, even when you're not sure if it'll work.
09:24:05 And it's not you strong-holding yourself and getting yourself under control like I hear people say, I just need to do the things!
09:24:13 No, resilience is about trying. But much… So much of it is with compassion, not about.
09:24:21 Bullying yourself into it. So, let me share a client story that hits this perfectly.
09:24:28 She is a pro, like, a professional person in her very successful field, okay?
09:24:33 And every year, she has an extremely busy season. And every year, she'd say, I don't know what happened, it just fell apart, or it was all out of my control, or I'm barely making it.
09:24:46 Through this season. I just have to get through… however long the season was, I can't remember.
09:24:51 Um, but this time, I think it was a couple months long, and so… but this time.
09:24:57 While we were going through this season, I was digging a little deeper with her, and what she realized was that she hadn't forgotten how to eat well, or take care of herself.
09:25:08 She'd just gotten overwhelmed. So, she told herself, it's too much, I don't have time.
09:25:13 And that thought led her right back to old patterns. Overeating, skipping meals, nighttime snacking, no sleep.
09:25:23 Those were the habits that she practiced when she got overwhelmed. That was actually how she took care of herself.
09:25:31 Because it felt comforting to her. To overeat. It felt comfortable to her to go ahead and stay focused on the busyness of work and skip a meal from time to time, or just snack.
09:25:43 Or have extra desserts, or nighttime snacking, or staying up late to watch TV, because that was.
09:25:49 Seeing what she was doing for herself. She thought she was taking care of herself.
09:25:54 In the way that she knew how. She just didn't realize.
09:25:57 Those old behaviors weren't helping her now. She had learned newer ways.
09:26:03 No, she was not lazy. But because that used to be how she coped, that's why she was doing it again. So instead of shaming herself, we asked.
09:26:13 What's one small thing? A small thing that still feels doable even now?
09:26:19 Something you can do to take care of yourself, since you know it's gonna be so crazy. What can you decide ahead of time?
09:26:25 So, she started making easy, compassionate decisions. Ahead of time. Not perfect ones.
09:26:32 Just possible ones. Like, have a frozen meal in the freezer at work, something that she'd already, like, put 5 of them in there, and she could just pick something, or… Taking her nighttime walk. And you know what happened?
09:26:44 She felt empowered. Not perfect. But in control, within the chaos, because we weren't going to get out of the busy season each year.
09:26:55 That is what resilience is. So, a lot of people think that when they mess up, they have to double down. Like, I'll be extra good tomorrow. I'll eat less tomorrow. I'll stick to a salad and water tomorrow.
09:27:07 I'll go all, like, low carb, no sugar, all water, 10,000 plus steps, you know, all the extra.
09:27:14 You know the rules. But… That just creates more discomfort. And when they can't keep up with all those rules, they feel like they've really failed.
09:27:23 So they give up again. Let's just stop the cycle.
09:27:27 When my clients are in a setback. Here's what we do.
09:27:32 We collect the wins. You're in a setback, you don't feel like you're supposed to collect the wins, but that's what we do first. We collect wins.
09:27:40 Even tiny ones. What felt good this week, what helped just a little.
09:27:44 What choice went better than it could've? Then, I want them to find one small thing that they can try.
09:27:52 Something that feels doable, even if it feels so small. So insignificant, too small to even matter.
09:28:01 Spoiler! It's not too small! Those tiny little habits. Are how we build trust with ourselves.
09:28:07 They feel so doable. We think we can do that, at least.
09:28:11 We just have to make sure we know that we can count that as a win.
09:28:15 So, I see this a lot. Women who care so much.
09:28:18 That when they don't do things right, they just beat themselves up.
09:28:22 They say things like, I messed everything up. And you know what I say? Everything, really? That's a really big word. Let's look closer. What exactly did you mess up?
09:28:32 Well, what else worked? Because no one messes everything up. And that kind of language just reinforces shame.
09:28:40 So instead, I guide them to look for what went right.
09:28:44 What little thing went right? Even if all it was, was that you stopped at the bag of Oreos.
09:28:51 And you didn't get another bag out. Or maybe you left one Oreo in the container.
09:28:56 What went right? What they learned. I guide them to look for what they learned, what awareness they gained.
09:29:04 Even if the outcome wasn't perfect. Because awareness, that's a win.
09:29:09 Learning, a win. Trying again? Super big win!
09:29:14 So, try this. Say, thank you, me!
09:29:18 We're trying something, even if it didn't work. Or you might tell yourself, what can I try again?
09:29:25 A little differently, or maybe a little simpler. See the difference? Instead of quitting, now you're maybe a little curious.
09:29:33 You're learning, you're leaning into it, you're building your resilience. I want to say this clearly. You can feel disappointed. That is allowed.
09:29:43 Especially when you were trying really hard. But failure is not the end.
09:29:48 It only becomes the end if you give up. So, if you are tempted to escape the disappointment with food or by quitting.
09:29:56 I want you to pause and ask, what's one thing I can try again today?
09:30:01 Just to see how it goes. Not sure of the outcome, but let's just see how it goes.
09:30:05 What's one thing I can try again today? That's where the power is.
09:30:10 So here's a journal prompt for you to help you build resilience this week.
09:30:14 What have I learned from what didn't work? What's one thing I'm willing to try again?
09:30:21 And if you know, like, how to try it differently, or something you want to give yourself some information about, write that down too.
09:30:29 What have I learned from that didn't work, and what's one thing I'm willing to try again?
09:30:34 That's it. One lesson, one try. Just write that down. I would love to hear what you have.
09:30:40 Send that in to me, for sure. So, when a habit… it didn't stick.
09:30:45 I ask my clients, do we need to repeat it? Do we need to change it? Or do we just need to simplify it?
09:30:51 And you know what? As soon as I ask them that, the information was all inside of them.
09:30:58 They didn't even realize they possessed that information. But it broke the cycle of them just criticizing and judging themselves, and they're able to stop.
09:31:08 For a moment, and then tell me. I just need to try it again. Or, no, we need to change it up a little bit, or, you know, that was way too much my first go-around, like, let's just simplify it a little bit.
09:31:19 I want to focus on one thing. They're always able to tell me.
09:31:22 So you don't need a new plan. Not always. You just need to keep showing up.
09:31:28 And if you're feeling stuck, that doesn't mean you're broken. It just means it's time to try again.
09:31:34 With compassion. So, resilience, it isn't magic.
09:31:39 It's not motivation. It's just showing up for yourself, one small decision at a time.
09:31:46 It's about giving yourself the grace to grow. And the space to be human.
09:31:51 You've got this. Even after a setback. Especially after a setback.
09:31:57 If you are ready to stop spiraling after setbacks and want support, building resilience, I've got you.
09:32:03 Come join my free webinar! Uh, you'll learn what works, why it works, and how to simplify this entire process. Save your seat at CoachingCara.com.
09:32:13 Forward slash sign up, or book a free personalized solutions call with me.
09:32:18 Let's talk through your specific situation. You'll walk away with clarity and an action plan that you.
09:32:25 Actually want to follow. Um, you can book that at CoachingCara.com forward slash free call.
09:32:32 You don't need to do more. You don't need to do any of it perfectly.
09:32:36 You just need to try again. With grace. That's resilience.
09:32:42 See you next week for Episode 3, Redefining Success Beyond the Scale. It's going to shift everything you thought success had to look like.
