13:05:56 Hi, I'm Kara, a concierge weight loss. I want to talk
13:06:06 Hi, I'm Kara with Concierge Weight Loss. I want to talk to you about what it's like to be a normal eater.
13:06:13 I'm not talking about the strict diets or the endless calorie counting. Being a normal eater means enjoying balanced choices that support your health.
13:06:22 While still savoring life. I know many of us worry that changing our eating habits might make us feel different.
13:06:29 Or even isolated among friends. Maybe even think that we can't do it if we are around the people that we're normally around.
13:06:39 There's a social dilemma going on, a fear of alienation. Have you ever felt like if you start eating healthier, your friends might see you differently?
13:06:49 Or you might not fit in at the social events. Sometimes people will think they can't follow their eating plan if they're at a social event.
13:06:59 Food has a huge role. It's a big part of our social lives.
13:07:04 Changing what you eat can feel like a disruption. So let's talk about how to handle that.
13:07:09 Let's redefine normal eating first of all, okay? What normal eating looks like.
13:07:15 Normal eating is about enjoying food without guilt. It's listening to your body, practicing moderation and not demonizing any foods.
13:07:25 This took me a while to learn, even on my own weight loss journey. I understood the concept, but I didn't understand how to put that into practice.
13:07:35 And so for me, it was a gradual step. Each little thing became a little bit easier and so normalizing food, enjoying it without guilt. That was huge and It took me so long to figure out how to do that without guilt.
13:07:56 Completely how I did it, listening to my body. I had to listen to my body. I had to listen to what I really wanted. So like my desire, I still had to listen to the desire because if I If I took that piece out and I had nothing of my desire in there.
13:08:09 It's going to rear its ugly head and take over and want everything that I have ever desired and all at once.
13:08:17 Cannot be satiated. The other part is listening to my body. Am I even hungry? Am I physically hungry?
13:08:26 Or what does my body even need when I'm making some decisions about how much to eat or when to eat, what to eat?
13:08:34 I can't have any of my foods be demonized. I do totally understand. Some foods I just don't have very often.
13:08:41 Because that's how it feels good in my body. Or I don't have very much of it.
13:08:46 And I'm learning still to this day how to eat Only when I'm hungry.
13:08:52 I have decided a lot of times I'm okay with a bite.
13:08:56 If I want to really be a part of something, I have given myself permission to have a bite.
13:09:01 I don't have anything holding me, medical conditions or I'm still able to lose weight or maintain weight even without one bite.
13:09:10 But not every bite is so important anymore. I had to shift my mindset. It's about the integrity of what I'm wanting to do and like the intention of what I'm wanting to do.
13:09:23 I don't want to sacrifice all my enjoyment for weight loss. I don't think you would either. That's why people quit diets left and right.
13:09:32 We need to start changing that. So the shift, it's about integrating healthy choices naturally into your life so you're not in a constant battle with restriction.
13:09:42 I like to think I do whatever most of the time.
13:09:47 And then this little bit, it's not that that is all the time. It's just, I have a bite of something when I'm not hungry occasionally.
13:09:55 Most of the time. I focus on eating things that feel really good in my body. Most of the time, I only eat when I'm hungry.
13:10:02 It's that most of the time thing so that it still leaves room for me to be human and enjoy my life.
13:10:09 I don't want to be in constant battle with restrictions about what I can and cannot have. It doesn't feel like a happy life and I want to make sure at all costs, I have a happy life.
13:10:20 And I'm healthy enough to enjoy it. Sometimes when we go out and about with our friends, right, we think they might be judging us.
13:10:32 We think that they're watching everything we put into our mouth.
13:10:36 And sometimes they are because as a weight loss coach, I can tell you that I have a lot of times been out to eat and friends ask me why I chose something or if I can have that and still have my weight loss or
13:10:49 They'll look at me and say, there's no way I could ever eat that and lose weight. And so I know they're looking at my plate.
13:10:55 But what I realized was sometimes I can decide how much I share and how much I don' And that's completely up to me. And when I feel safe doing it.
13:11:06 So when you're clear when you're about your goals, you invite understanding. So if it feels right, let your friends know that you're focusing on feeling your best You're not judging their choices.
13:11:18 So I've seen many clients discover that simply talking about their journey, it brings unexpected support and sometimes even inspires others.
13:11:27 One of my very, very good friends from high school and all through school really, she started asking me a lot of questions because she saw my body changing.
13:11:35 And she wanted to know what I was doing. She wanted to support me.
13:11:39 And she wanted to understand for herself too. And so one of the things that I listen to is my physical hunger cues.
13:11:49 And so in the beginning. That was one of the first ones that I was able to really grasp.
13:11:54 So instead of waiting until I felt like I was going to bust and I just couldn't eat anymore.
13:11:59 I would hear this. And then, so the sigh, this exhale And then I would know, okay, it's time to put my fork down. And I'll tell you in the beginning, I ate three more bites and then I got down to two and one. And now for the most part, I usually stop most of the time.
13:12:16 When I sigh. So eating with this specific friend She listens for my sigh. And if I don't put my fork down, she'll be like, I think that was your sigh.
13:12:27 And depending on my mood, I either think She really has listened to me and she's really trying to support me. And if I'm not in my own great state of mind, then I might think like she's judging me.
13:12:39 She's absolutely not judging me. She just wants to support me and she heard me. She heard when I said, this is what I'm focusing on.
13:12:47 I could just as easily say, yeah, that's not what I'm focusing on anymore. Or tonight I've decided I'm going to have a couple bites extra.
13:12:52 I could tell her anything. I don't have to feel judged. I don't have to think I can't share with her.
13:12:58 I felt safe enough to share in the beginning. Help me so that when she would ask if I wanted margaritas or if I wanted chips or I wanted to split an appetizer, did I want dessert.
13:13:08 I felt like it gave me my reason for why I was saying I was picking something else or no. And so, and if it doesn't feel safe, if it doesn't feel right to share with them, you don't owe anybody an explanation. You don't ever owe anybody else an explanation. You know what you're doing.
13:13:24 You can decide. Same group of friends. I remember the first time I went out with them and all I ordered was an unsweet tea.
13:13:29 They're like, why are you not eating? And they were afraid that I was losing too fast.
13:13:35 And I was starving myself. And I was like, oh. I already had dinner planned before you guys invited me out. So I have dinner in the crock pot at home. I'm going to eat with my husband when I get home. So I just wanted to come out and enjoy some time with you.
13:13:47 And they all looked at me like, wow, I can't even imagine.
13:13:52 And that shows that I'm willing to show up for my friends and be there in that social environment.
13:13:58 And yet I don't have to have food there to tempt me or to take me off plan. I still can decide what I want to do.
13:14:06 I've done both. I went to dinner with my family over the weekend And I've just not been as hungry lately. And so I said, you know what, there's not anything that I really, really want besides chips and queso and a margarita.
13:14:19 And so we ordered the pitcher for the table. I had some, I think I drink a third of the margarita.
13:14:25 It was very sweet and I realized I really only wanted a few sips of it. So maybe I drank a third of it.
13:14:33 I really wanted the chips salsa queso. And so I told my husband, I think I'm just going to eat The rice and beans. He never eats the rice and beans off his plate. He always eats the meat part or the cheese part. And so I had that and that little bit of lettuce with
13:14:49 The guac and I think they call it the salad at the Mexican restaurant with the tomatoes, the guac And so I had that and I probably had half the rice and beans.
13:14:57 And I ate, I don't know, maybe… half a dozen to a dozen chips with some queso and salsa.
13:15:04 I ended up leaving a bunch behind. I gave away the rest of my margarita. My son, of course, wanted the rest. And so, and I was absolutely fine. I think everybody asked Are you sure that's enough food? And I was like.
13:15:17 I think it feels good. And then they said, well, did you want some of mine? So everybody offered. And I was like, no, I think I feel really good. I can tell you I got up from that table.
13:15:26 And I did not have to adjust my waistband. I was not talking about how my stomach was upset from overeating or eating too many of you know too many of you know high sugar margaritas that don't feel well or too much
13:15:40 Cheese doesn't feel good to me if I eat too much of it.
13:15:43 But I felt really good and I was able to leave the table feeling great.
13:15:48 I can tell you that people were watching me and I get to inspire other people in the most unexpected ways.
13:15:55 And so we get to create what the new normal looks like.
13:16:00 And that was me getting to help. So when you're out… in your social environments, your events. I want you to plan ahead if possible, especially in the beginning.
13:16:11 In the beginning, I would look at the menu ahead of time.
13:16:14 Decide or give yourself some options on on what to have, what you might think sounds good or how it fits into how your body's feeling, how your taste buds are wanting, like what you're desiring. You can decide this ahead of time because when you're deciding ahead of time.
13:16:32 You're not sitting there, oh yeah, well, I'll split an appetizer. Oh yeah, we'll all have this. We'll all have, and then you've now had a big meal and a big appetizer and everybody's getting drinks and desserts too.
13:16:43 You can make some of those decisions ahead of time. As soon as you make that decision your brain locks in like, yeah, we've already got this. We've already figured out how to do this. It'll be fine. And you say it with authority when some, not to have to beat someone down for like asking if you want to split a dessert, but you know ahead of time. This is what I've decided.
13:17:02 This is what fits into how I wanted to eat here. Or I had already looked at the menu and this is This is what I've been looking forward to. A little prep.
13:17:12 A little meal planning, looking in that menu ahead of time, it goes a long way in reducing that stress. And let's face it, when we're out with our friends, we add want to just enjoy ourselves. We don't want to have to worry about
13:17:24 Stress and making more and more decisions about these foods. Those kinds of things when we're making those decisions.
13:17:30 And we're all totally stressed. We just want to fit in and then we just go along with it and it does not make it feel good in our body. It doesn't support our goals of weight loss.
13:17:40 So I want you to be flexible. Embrace flexibility. Remember, it's not about perfection. Enjoying an indulgence now and then is part of a balanced lifestyle.
13:17:51 I can tell you like having the margarita, it tasted so good.
13:17:55 And I didn't even need the whole thing. I just wanted some. And so I got a little bit.
13:18:00 It was that little bit and that was plenty for me.
13:18:04 So focus on your portion control because let's focus on things that we have in our control, right?
13:18:10 So some practical tips, we're going to focus on our portion control. You know when you're out and about those those meals, you can get two to three easy out of there. So quite often I split with somebody else or
13:18:23 I will make a decision like, is there something here that is just so important that I really need to try?
13:18:29 Especially if I'm at someone's home or a party, I'm going to look at the whole spread, like what's available, especially the buffet type serving.
13:18:38 I want to savor the bites when I get them. So I want to prioritize the social event over the food. And so, yeah, sometimes the food is very important.
13:18:49 And I want to prioritize that. If you've been listening to my podcast for any amount of time, I'm sure you've heard me talk endlessly about Thanksgiving pumpkin pie.
13:18:58 I've got some others. So like chocolate is one of my big favorites and so Sometimes there is some part that I do want to prioritize that's food.
13:19:08 But outside of that, one or two very special things, which again, most of the time I just need a bite or two.
13:19:14 I really want the experience of a bite or two. And I have been known to bring my own Tupperware container to take something home with me.
13:19:21 Friends and family think it's funny, but they just know I don't eat as much anymore and I'm not going to make myself sick.
13:19:28 Just to get to try it while I'm there. So I've brought my Tupperware containers with me to parties and they just kind of smile at me or I'll be like, hey, can I have a plate and a Ziploc bag? I want to take some of this home and I just don't have any room for me for it right now. I don't want to be sick. I want to enjoy the party.
13:19:42 Or I already ate, whatever my thing is. Sometimes when I have, especially early on, when I felt extremely overwhelmed with things.
13:19:51 I just said, you know what, I'm going to take a bathroom break and I'll be right back.
13:19:55 And when I got to the bathroom, I was able to breathe for a moment or two, make the decision I want and come right back.
13:20:02 And then I was able to deliver it. I wasn't all caught up in the moment.
13:20:07 One of the ladies that I have listened to, she used to take her napkin when she was done eating so that she wasn't sitting there picking at the plates.
13:20:16 While everybody was talking, she'd take her napkin and wipe the bottom of her shoe. Nobody really knew because your napkin's in your lap under the table, right? Nobody knew what she was doing. So she'd wipe the bottom of her shoe and then she would just cover her plate up with her napkin. Who wants to eat food off the floor, let alone your napkin on your plate that has touched all over your shoe?
13:20:35 It was her way to getting it to stop. Couple tips there for you. Take what you want.
13:20:40 All right, there is an emotional and psychological benefit to be being a normal eater And being that normal eater in public, at events and having that life that we enjoy, okay?
13:20:55 So reduce anxiety, seeing yourself as a normal eater helps ease that pressure about making food choices.
13:21:02 Less stressful and more enjoyable. I told you a little bit ago, I have had just different I don't know what the right word is.
13:21:13 Different awarenesses, we'll say, along my own journey and so As I was focusing on different things, things just became normal. They became easier, less and less pressure.
13:21:26 And so I want you to do this guilt free okay as you see yourself as a normal eater. I am a normal eater. Even when I was overeating, that was normal.
13:21:34 It was very normal. I just don't want to do that anymore. So I am a normal eater. This is how I am eating now. This is how I'm trying things now. This is what I am trying to focus on now.
13:21:46 And so making those food choices less stressful, it will definitely help with a more enjoyable experience.
13:21:54 I want you to practice some self-compassion. Be kind to yourself. A small indulgence isn't a setback.
13:22:01 It's part of a sustainable, balanced approach. And nobody is perfect. Nobody. And so there's no reason for us to have to be perfect in all things. And sometimes stuff happens. We need to We need to pivot. We need to switch gears. And I want you to be able to feel like you absolutely can.
13:22:22 And so I teach things like a worthy decision. So sometimes I make a worthy swap.
13:22:28 Because it is exciting and it is something I really want. And I know I'm not going to do this every day and be able to keep my weight loss down.
13:22:38 But like keep going with my weight loss forward. But I think it's worthy today or Is it worth it sometimes? No. Sometimes things are not worth it. And I'm like.
13:22:47 These are just some store-bought cookies. I'm not even thinking these are worthy.
13:22:52 And so I don't eat them. That's normal too but if you did What's the next best thing you can do? Quit making it that you You've had some huge setback and you can't go forward. It's all just the next step.
13:23:08 I want you to celebrate some balance. Maintaining a social life while eating healthily not only works, it can boost your overall quality of life.
13:23:18 When you are living the life that you've envisioned what you would I have so much fun doing when you're at your goal weight, but you're doing it now.
13:23:26 You're learning how to be normal now. You're not having to wait to think or feel normal.
13:23:32 After you've already lost all your weight. And so when you know that I can be right there in the midst of anything social.
13:23:39 And I can make great healthy decisions. I can have an indulgence sometimes too.
13:23:44 I can have some of that good food that we think we're probably not losing a whole lot of weight if we eat very often. I absolutely can have some of that too.
13:23:53 But I know how to take great care of myself. And so when I know how to have that balance.
13:23:58 I'm not upset if I had something today. I'm just not having that something every single day. It's about the balance of it.
13:24:06 All right, today we explored how embracing normal eating is all about that balanced choices, clear communication and planning ahead to enjoy both health and social life.
13:24:19 If you're ready to dive deeper, I invite you to check out my free course where I share more strategies on balancing health and social events and all the things.
13:24:28 Go to coaching. Coachingkara.com forward slash free course. Or if you'd like a more personalized approach.
13:24:37 Schedule a solutions call with me to tailor these ideas to your unique lifestyle. We'll talk all about it.
13:24:44 Coachingkara.com forward slash free call. Free course or free call, whichever one you're ready for.
13:24:50 All right, I want to give you one of these I just want you to take one, okay? Listen.
13:24:57 To this podcast and just take one thing that you're going to try at your next social event. Let me know how it goes.
13:25:04 And your feedback is so invaluable. Subscribe, share your thoughts, and let's keep this journey moving forward together.
