08:41:55 Hello, hello. I'm ready to talk to you about creating habits that last beyond January. So this is in alignment with The other podcast from the last few weeks here in January, but this one is slightly a little bit different.
08:42:09 Why habits fail after January? We've heard so much about people doing New Year's resolutions for years, right?
08:42:16 This idea of embedderment and goals and vision for the next year.
08:42:21 But why don't they last? January is super magical. It's the beginning of the year. Everybody's excited. We are fully motivated. And then something about February, it just becomes what less important.
08:42:37 Not focused on at a minimum, right? And so the habits fail after January because people start to drop off. They start to drop off in their excitement for it, that motivation and so unrealistic expectations is another big one or a lack of a plan, like an idea. I want to do it, but I don't really know how to do it. I don't know how to get there.
08:43:02 And they spend a lot of time in the excitement of having the plan, but the follow through maybe something that they're unsure of. They don't know what the next step is or what the next few steps might look like.
08:43:15 When I said unrealistic expectations so often that they'll have a pie in the sky kind of thing and their dream and they have absolutely no idea how to reach it. None.
08:43:27 They're not sure where to even start. Those are things that I help my clients with all the time. Let's talk about what your goal is and then let's make it realistic. Like, of course we have big ideas and we have big goals and that's why it's so motivating and exciting.
08:43:43 Why is it actually important? Because if it's important in January, don't we want it to be important in February and every other month too?
08:43:49 So if it's not important all those other months. If you even reach the goal, it's not going to be important enough to keep it.
08:43:58 Those are the kind of habits that we're creating. We want the goals that last. These are long-term things.
08:44:05 So we're going to focus on small sustainable actions instead of big dramatic overhauls. We don't want to be overly reliant on motivation. We want it to be something like, yeah.
08:44:16 This really feels good. So how we talk about it is going to be different I was coaching someone recently and we were talking about some of her visions for the next year. What is she wanting to focus on? Where does she want to put her attention?
08:44:32 And I shifted completely with her. She didn't realize this, but if If we're just focusing on what to do.
08:44:40 It gets very discouraging. And so focusing on how it's going to feel so much better is a little tiny shift. So with her, what we talked about was What would your goal provide for you? And so it was played on the floor with her grandson. And I said, what if you just start getting on and off the floor? Oh, I don't even know if I could get up. Okay, well, what if we just
08:45:02 Don't put any expectation of playing with our grandson on the floor. We just sit on the floor and then get back up and we do it in a time that we know we can spend lots of time. Maybe we put a pillow down there to put our knee on or we do it next to the furniture. So we start gaining that confidence.
08:45:18 And that progress of that little tiny habit. I had another one we talked about was that she would have the excitement, the energy to be able to do all these extra things in life. I said, what if you just start planning those extra things that you would like to do later? Start planning those in your life right now.
08:45:36 It's going to shift everything. So that kind of focuses I'm going to lose my weight because then I can do all those exciting We'll start doing those exciting things now.
08:45:48 Start planning those and looking forward to them and figuring out maybe I can't do all of it now, but I could do part of it now.
08:45:54 All those habits that it's going to take for you to lose the weight so that you're more comfortable doing that, they're going to be more exciting to do because we're actually getting that end result.
08:46:04 If we have to wait until we've lost all our weight to be happy.
08:46:07 Whether it's in a relationship or to be able to travel or whatever the thing is that we think it's going to be so much better. Maybe it's wearing cute clothes. I don't know what it is for you, but If you think that you have to wait until you hit your goal weight.
08:46:23 To be able to experience that joy now like you have to wait for then start experiencing the joy now and see what that does to every single time you're making a mistake or every time you're trying a new habit or you're just trying to stick with some habits.
08:46:39 You're going to be so much more motivated to do them because you're already experiencing that payoff, that reward.
08:46:47 All right. Something that I've talked about before, but it's always good to talk about again.
08:46:52 Habit stacking. So when we're trying to pick those habits that we're going to be doing beyond January, let's stack them, okay?
08:47:00 So what that might look like is if you want to become a journaler, you do that with your morning coffee or tea.
08:47:08 If you're trying to drink more water, maybe you drink a glass of water before your coffee or tea You want to start taking vitamins. Let's put them next to our toothbrush so that they're right there ready.
08:47:19 Stacking that habit of what we want to accomplish with something that we already routinely do.
08:47:25 Instead of it having to be like, oh, I have to carve out this time and it has to look exactly like this.
08:47:30 That feels imposing. If it's something you're already doing, you already put your pajamas on each night, great. Maybe you put a notepad there and you make a quick plan for tomorrow's meals.
08:47:42 Or whatever it's going to look like. You just stack it with something you're already doing. It makes it so much easier to actually get that to happen.
08:47:50 When we have real life scenarios to build momentum on, you're not going to overwhelm yourself.
08:47:57 So, all right. Number three, accountability. So when we start thinking about what those habits are that we want to carry on for the rest of the year, not just in January when we're so excited.
08:48:13 Accountability. What that is, it's more than a buddy system. So it's not like, hey, we're going to do this together. I hear with weight loss all the time, they try to do in the office biggest loser type programs.
08:48:26 There's some good and some bad with that. We are all focused on something. You're finding accountability with it and that's great.
08:48:34 And sometimes you're going to have different buddies, different relationships of accountability.
08:48:40 It only works if you tell them what you want them to help you with. So what is your goal? What is it you're trying to do?
08:48:47 How do I want you to hold me accountable or how do I want you to support me or encourage me?
08:48:52 You know what you like and it might not all be from the same person. Just find that accountability. And so I help with that so much in coaching the one-on-one coaching and even the group coaching. The group program that I have.
08:49:06 It helps people with that sense of community. Some people like the sense of community, some people don't.
08:49:12 And so I have both. Accountability can look so different for each person.
08:49:17 Having a coach there to help you figure out what you even like, what is being beneficial and what's not.
08:49:24 That is so much easier trying to figure that out than doing it alone.
08:49:28 All right. So one of the other things that number four that helps is preventing some that overcoming that habit fatigue that happens.
08:49:39 So we get bored. We're like, I'm going to do this thing. And then it's not exciting.
08:49:43 So what are we going to do on the days where it's not so exciting? How are we going to keep it so that we keep wanting to do it even when it feels monotonous?
08:49:51 Because that creeps in on you and then you just don't want to do it. You'll find so many other things that you would rather do.
08:49:58 So you're going to share strategies. You're going to figure out how to keep it exciting, how to reframe it. So like I started telling you about the client I was coaching, we reframed that routine. Instead of it being the thing
08:50:14 To do to lose weight. We made it the thing you already want to do. And then everything that makes it easier so If she wants to be out in the world enjoying life and having that joy with her family and friends, she's probably not going to do a lot of overeating because she knows she doesn't feel good when she does that.
08:50:32 She knows that she's going to be out You know, in an airplane and has to put the seatbelt extender on and she doesn't want to do that. So she's probably going to be easier to say no to a extra dessert or some overeating that would happen when you've got something in mind that you're really excited about
08:50:50 I hear often women lose weight for special events, whether it's a vacation or a wedding or something like that. They have an end goal. They feel like that is so important to them. And so that's another type of reframing strategy.
08:51:05 That you can think like, this is so exciting. This is so important. I cannot wait to travel. I want to make sure that my traveling is as planned well as I can or that the event is or going out with friends. And so then you're looking for things to do. So we're going to overcome that.
08:51:21 Habit fatigue by keeping it exciting, prevent that monotony that happens, celebrating the milestone. So when we do something, we're excited that we did it. Like I went to bed, it got eight hours of sleep last night. I am really good at taking care of myself.
08:51:37 I feel like that's what I have said more lately than ever before. I am just really good at taking care of myself.
08:51:45 So anytime I'm faced with an option, staying up late or going to bed a little early, reading a book or drowning through like, you know, hours and hours of TV shows.
08:51:56 I just feel like I get a little buzz, a little excitement when I've made a good decision for my health or my body. It feels great.
08:52:03 All right, we're going to redefine success with those habits. That's number five. Redefining those success.
08:52:10 So we're going to challenge it when it's to or it can't be like the all or nothing kind of thinking. So when we talk about food, you've heard me talk about good, better, best. And so instead of saying like, everything has to be broccoli and chicken.
08:52:22 No, no, no. We have good, better, best for that. And so even with our habits.
08:52:28 Like my water habit for a long time, my habit was a gallon of water a day And then it was, okay, better is about 80 to 90 for me.
08:52:39 And good is 64 ounces. So I always get a minimum of 64 ounces in. But like, I know that my body feels amazing with 80, 90 and it feels at top notch performance with about a gallon of water.
08:52:52 I'm not saying everybody needs to do that, but that's kind of the idea of the good, better, best approach.
08:52:58 With food and with other habits. And you can that it's a great way to pivot. This is what I do most of the time. And this is kind of my baseline for when I'm not able to do that.
08:53:08 It keeps you feeling like you're succeeding. It keeps you feeling like.
08:53:12 I am still doing great things, even when it doesn't happen the exact way you thought it was. That's why we don't do the all or nothing.
08:53:19 Focus on the consistency. So in a previous podcast this month, I talked about progress over perfection.
08:53:27 Today, I want to talk to you about consistency over perfection. It does not have to be perfect. I say most of the time.
08:53:35 Forever because more days than not, I do those really great habits that that helped me lose weight or help me maintain the weight loss. Those are the habits that I do most of the time.
08:53:46 But I'm consistent. So most weeks out of the year. I'm doing them most days out of the week, I'm doing them. That's a consistency thing.
08:53:55 And so when I know like I'm not, it's not right or wrong. So if I don't do it right now, I'm not good at that habit and I'm just going to quit. No, no, no. This is just consistency. You know, some days it looks better than others, but it's just something I'm sticking to long term.
08:54:10 You don't brush your teeth once and say you're done, right? So the other is the emotional connection. The last one I want to talk about is the emotional connection to your habits.
08:54:20 When you start linking those habits to your values and emotions, it creates a stronger commitment.
08:54:28 When you create that link to bad. Habits, you also create a stronger commitment. So make sure you're hearing me.
08:54:37 When you have the habits that you really want to incorporate and they feel good in your body and you're like, I'm taking such excellent care of myself, right? That is like, yes, I am. Of course I am. I coached a lady the other day
08:54:51 And everything she kept saying, it was stuff she was building her beliefs on. And I said, what if you just say, of course I am.
08:54:58 After every one of those. I said, it gives you the same benefit of someone else saying, you're doing it, girl.
08:55:04 And so, of course I am. I am linking my habits to my values and my emotions. I am creating that pride, that achievement in doing those things. And that just keeps getting stronger and stronger. That's where Momentum creates motivation, that stronger commitment to it all so
08:55:28 A lot of times this kind of stuff happens to me and i i see the exact problem. I help everybody else, right? So I want to just dive in and do all the things And then I get overwhelmed. I get upset that I'm not doing it right. I feel like it's taking too long.
08:55:44 Those are always the times when that emotion is just really separating me from my habit. And so, like I said, the emotion can definitely make the habit stronger. It can also separate me. So I have to watch.
08:56:01 When am I making it harder than it needs to be? When am I making it not fun anymore?
08:56:07 When am I making it have to feel like I am a project to be fixed? None of that feels great.
08:56:13 So that emotional connection, we definitely can take excellent care of ourselves. We definitely can figure out how that is. And we also know when we are beating ourselves up. Nothing feels good when you're being critical, ever.
08:56:26 Your body will, your brain will know, your nervous system will know that you're trying to criticize it or judge it. And that feels very unsafe. It's something that it has to protect you from. So then it'll start shutting down a lot of the other areas that you feel good about because it needs to protect you in this one spot.
08:56:45 So let's just make it good. Let's keep it fun. Keep it simple. Where can I do things? What have I tried? What am I doing? Give ourselves so much credit.
08:56:54 That's how we're going to have habits that stick. Even past February.
08:56:58 Because that's what we want. We want change. We want real change. We don't want just another New Year's resolution that falls flat by the by February. All right. If you are tired of starting over every January and you're ready to make habits that do actually stick. This is your chance to learn strategies that actually work.
08:57:20 My free course the five-day quick start program, it'll teach you simple ways to build habits that you love that you won't get bored of.
08:57:28 How to overcome habit fatigue and fresh approaches, the power of habit stacking.
08:57:33 And accountability to stay consistent. It teaches you all those things so Go ahead, jump on the website, coachingcara.com forward slash free call.
