09:13:15 Are you losing your motivation, trying to lose weight, feeling like you're all alone, nobody understands, nobody…
09:13:22 is helping or can support you
09:13:26 Maybe your family or your friends or your coworkers, they're just eating all the time eating and offering it to you and not understanding what you're going through.
09:13:35 They're feeling like they're sabotaging. It feels so much like it's sabotaging all the efforts you have.
09:13:42 And you're new, you're new at learning. You're new at figuring this out. And these are new habits that you're trying to implement.
09:13:50 And every time that they ask you, do you want to go for drinks or would you like a cupcake that I brought in or donuts?
09:13:57 It just feels like it takes every ounce of your resolve to say no, which then you start feeling like you've missed out on the entire thing.
09:14:07 Yes, take a big breath with me.
09:14:10 You don't have to be alone. It doesn't have to feel isolating. And your motivation does not
09:14:16 come from what other people do or don't do. You don't need them to stop offering drinks or to have snacks with you or to hang out with you.
09:14:26 Let me teach you real quick just how to support yourself.
09:14:31 you will be your biggest and best supporter once you understand how.
09:14:37 So I…
09:14:39 I had to hire a coach to work with me intensively in this last year. I was not being very kind to myself. So yes.
09:14:47 I absolutely hear you when you tell me things like.
09:14:51 I have nobody to support me. I feel isolated. I had gotten to a place where I had pretty much isolated myself.
09:15:00 And most of mine was in things to do with my business in the weight loss coaching business and how I help people.
09:15:09 And how the business was growing and what I was doing. And it was all, all.
09:15:15 was in what I was thinking, all how I was talking to myself.
09:15:19 And so I was only looking for the end goal.
09:15:24 It's very windy outside. I don't know if you heard that. It sounded like something bounced off our house.
09:15:29 I was only looking for the end goal.
09:15:33 And so when I was looking for how much money I made or how many clients I had in my weight loss back then, when I used to only look at
09:15:40 how many pounds I had lost. Like if I had made it to my goal, how long it was taking me.
09:15:46 That would feel so demotivating. It would be hopeless feeling.
09:15:51 And
09:15:53 it didn't take into account any of the things I did.
09:15:56 So one of the best ways I've learned to support myself through my weight loss, through
09:16:02 anything tough whenever it felt low in the business, whatever the thing was, right? Maybe it's your relationship.
09:16:10 But definitely along our weight loss journey.
09:16:13 What I have learned is that when i
09:16:16 focus on the end goal the big
09:16:20 the big dream, all the pounds lost, all the money made, whatever the thing is.
09:16:25 I lose sight of what I do every single day. All of those little tiny things that I did to get there.
09:16:32 And so anything that you've ever earned didn't happen with one try.
09:16:38 It was lots of things, lots of corrections and lots of course corrections, right? Little pivots here and there and there.
09:16:45 And all these different efforts that you made. So when you set small achievable goals, instead of just focusing on that big picture, you're going to break your goals into smaller steps. So it might be just two pounds. It might not even be anything to do with the scale. It might be that you tried vegetables for the first time. I've been working with a few ladies who just hate vegetables.
09:17:08 And they're trying to figure out how to get some nutrients in their life. So they're trying.
09:17:13 I didn't like vegetables either, girls.
09:17:16 When I was a kid, my mom boiled everything to pieces and it didn't have any flavor. The boiled mushy vegetables. So I get it. I had to learn how to eat grown up vegetables that were cooked better, but no.
09:17:28 Poor my mom was such a great cook. So she's passed away. I don't want to insult her cooking, but vegetables out of a can or frozen that were boiled were not her specialty.
09:17:39 I want you to look at the small efforts that you're doing. I want you to look at all the little things that you're willing to try. Look at the willingness
09:17:49 Like the willingness to be a little uncomfortable, the willingness to go out for drinks.
09:17:55 And have some water or some tea.
09:17:59 Look at those things and so
09:18:01 as you're doing that, you're going to start seeing like, I'm kind of amazing.
09:18:06 am doing amazing things. Look at what I just did.
09:18:09 Man, that was tough. And I really knocked it out of the park. I was really trying on that one.
09:18:14 And you'll start gaining confidence and that
09:18:18 provides so much motivation.
09:18:20 So each thing, even if it's that you just drank an extra glass of water or you put your shoes on and walked for five minutes outside, I know that doesn't feel like it's enough.
09:18:32 But it is. It's the first step to enough. And when you get out there the next time, you're going to be like, I absolutely do what I say I'll do. I absolutely take great care of myself.
09:18:43 And I can do this. And so even a five minute walk
09:18:46 Trying to put a vegetable in your meal, whatever it is, those are things on how you're supporting yourself.
09:18:52 It's all of the, what can I try? What am I willing to do? And it's in the moment. And all those little things that you did are the things that get you to your goal.
09:19:02 When all you do is try to like will into existence
09:19:07 that result, that weight loss, that end goal weight loss that you really want. And all you're doing is like trying to like imagine it and dream it into existence.
09:19:18 It doesn't work. You have to do all these little things to get there. And if all those little things feel so, so hard, you're not going to want to keep doing them. And so that's why we look to other people because we're making it so hard on ourselves.
09:19:31 that we just want a little relief. And so we think we're alone and that nobody understands and everyone is sabotaging our success.
09:19:40 where really we're making it hard and we're really just looking for someone else to make it easier for us. So that's why we think we need everybody else on board. We need all of our family eating the same way. We need our friends to never ask us to have off plan drinks or to ever bring donuts into the office again.
09:19:57 And we don't need all those things. We just need to feel confident in what we're doing.
09:20:01 We feel a little confident in those little things that we're doing and those little things I tell you.
09:20:07 They keep adding up.
09:20:10 Now that we're talking about our surroundings, our coworkers bringing donuts in and all the things.
09:20:17 We don't have control over everything, but we do have some control. And so I can tell you one of the things my husband always had a candy drawer. I boxed that candy drawer up and put it with a lid on it and a note that said Kara.
09:20:31 did you plan this today? Because it was real easy just to go to the candy drawer and get a couple pieces of candy out. And for, I don't know, two years, I don't think he had that candy drawer and he has it again. It's not my candy drawer anymore. And I rarely get a piece out of it.
09:20:46 But I needed to clean up my environment a little bit. I needed to not have to see it every day.
09:20:52 And so if your desk at work is the one, one of my girls that I work with, she
09:20:58 one of my clients, she had the desk that everyone came to
09:21:03 And they all actually I've had a couple of these ladies. But they all had the candy jar at their desk. And so one, she switched it out to pieces of fruit. And so she wanted people to keep coming by and talking with her. And so she switched it out to fruit.
09:21:19 Another lady, she moved the candy dryer, I think she said to the break room.
09:21:23 And so I still have a candy jar. I massage part time and I still have a candy jar in my office and I just know it's not for me, it's for them.
09:21:33 I supply that candy jar so that after the massage, they can get a nice little sweet treat and it's
09:21:38 It's not there for me. It doesn't mean I never have a piece, but in general, I've cleaned up my environment. My thinking about that kind of thing.
09:21:47 So maybe you keep healthy snacks around. Maybe you declutter and you have a kitchen that you're excited to be in.
09:21:55 I know when we've not done a big remodel, but maybe I painted or maybe I got new kitchen towels or I got something new in the kitchen and I was really excited to be in that space and be using the kitchen.
09:22:08 So decluttering your kitchen.
09:22:11 Maybe you have some stress in your life and just having an area of calm for you.
09:22:16 And so when our son was at home, I used my walk-in closet as my calm place. I had a treadmill in there.
09:22:25 I had some nice music play. Sometimes I would just go in there and sit. It could be your prayer quarter, your
09:22:34 your meditation
09:22:36 Nook, I don't know. Now I have a spare bedroom.
09:22:41 And I do yoga in there and it is, it's just a nice clean spot that my brain, I go in there and it's like my brain knows it's time to declutter.
09:22:50 I like to say when you have these practiced things, have you ever needed to go to the restroom and the closer you get to the bathroom, the more you know you need to go?
09:22:59 I know that one sounds kind of gross and silly or like as soon as you go to someone's house and you're sitting in their kitchen, it's like, oh, I guess I
09:23:06 I'm kind of getting hungry. It's that power of suggestion. So if that room
09:23:11 can be like, yeah, yeah, I am. This is what I go in here to do, whether it's
09:23:17 to cook great meals, whether it's to have a place to be calm and rested. The same thing with your bed, your bedroom. Make it a really relaxing environment so that when it's time to go to sleep.
09:23:29 you feel like that's exactly what that room is for.
09:23:33 or a few other things, whatever you want to use it for.
09:23:36 You've heard me say again and again, interwoven today.
09:23:40 I want you to practice some compassion. Love yourself. Love yourself through the mistakes. You are going to have ups and downs.
09:23:49 We are going to try all these little things.
09:23:51 And sometimes we mess up. Sometimes we learn that's not how to do it. That's not the way that's going to work for us.
09:23:58 And so as we're doing that.
09:24:01 we're realizing like, it's okay.
09:24:02 I don't need to beat myself up. I just need to try it a little different.
09:24:05 And so it doesn't make it a big deal. When we make it into a big deal, we start beating ourselves up for all those slip ups.
09:24:12 So we have to remind ourselves that this is progress. Anything I am doing is more than I was not doing before.
09:24:19 And so it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be something. And then we give ourselves lots and lots of celebration and credit for that thing that we were willing to try.
09:24:30 And you wouldn't talk to your child. You wouldn't talk to your best friend if they made a mistake like we do ourselves. So show yourself some kindness. You would offer that to everybody else
09:24:42 And the more kindness you have, the more willing it's going to be for you to keep trying to get right back on track and try something again and again.
09:24:51 So I don't want you to feel like you're alone on this journey. I don't want you to feel like that.
09:24:57 And so feeling isolated, feeling alone, like nobody understands.
09:25:01 that doesn't feel good. And so really start to understand yourself.
09:25:06 And that's how you do that with those three things.
09:25:10 Where I just said like celebrate your wins
09:25:13 create that positive environment. So if you need to declutter or create some better spaces for yourself and practice a ton of self-compassion.
09:25:22 And so as you're doing that.
09:25:24 you're going to start being able to have support from other people. You won't need it.
09:25:30 And so when someone asks about like, how's it going? You don't need them to ask.
09:25:35 for you to feel like you are going to be able to do it again. You already feel like you're because you want to, because you're doing it, because you're trying it.
09:25:43 it doesn't feel hard anymore. It just feels like it's just a matter of
09:25:46 It's a matter of time for you
09:25:49 to get it done because you're figuring out each and every step. You're continually making progress
09:25:55 So that progress doesn't have to be fast because it's not hard anymore. And so as you're doing that.
09:26:01 you're going to realize you are your biggest supporter, which now means you're your biggest motivator also. So when it does come time to being able to have other people help.
09:26:13 They don't have to do it a certain way, which means they can be there having all the drinks they want. They can have all the cupcakes they want.
09:26:21 And when you want one and you're hungry, you're like, yeah, I'll have some.
09:26:25 But you're not doing it to eat behind your back. You're not doing it to get away with something or because you're missing out if you don't.
09:26:33 It's something you enjoy so you have it sometimes, but it doesn't have to be all of your enjoyment and it doesn't have to sabotage your weight loss anymore.
09:26:43 Some people that work with me, even in my weight loss journey, I've used an accountability partner.
09:26:49 And so sometimes it was my best friend, just me being able to like
09:26:53 Say, hey, this is what I want to do. And I'm like telling you
09:26:56 Not because I need you to do anything, but because I just want to like speak it out into existence. It holds me a little accountable when I let someone else know that I want to try to do something.
09:27:07 And so, and a lot of times she was like, great.
09:27:10 And so that might have been all I ever heard from her about. And other times she might have been like, hey, how'd that thing go? And then, you know, sometimes I needed more accountability than that. So I might tell her.
09:27:21 how I need her to check in on me.
09:27:22 You know, can you message me tomorrow while I'm at this party and remind me
09:27:29 that I'm there to have fun and that food is not fun. Can you remind me of that? And she's like, sure, of course.
09:27:35 And so I have had different accountability partners throughout my journey. Sometimes I had groups and sometimes I just had a person. I remember sometimes our office would try to
09:27:46 have a big biggest loser, which I don't really love those, but like, I love the idea of the support together. I just think people do all kinds of crazy things to lose weight the fastest to win the prize sometimes.
09:27:57 And that's not anything sustainable, but like that camaraderie that we had, that part was really nice. And so people that would do things together. So it was really nice to be able to have that
09:28:09 that group part where we would maybe like all pitch in lunches and so
09:28:15 we can do that too. And like, just decide
09:28:21 that we're just going to all take a turn having a lunch and we'll eat together. And so like whatever accountability looks like for you, it could be totally different, but you could look for accountability partners or groups and you can tell them how you want to use them.
09:28:36 So anytime you hear me, like I had one that I was really trying hard to make plans because I was a little resistant in the beginning. And so what I did was I would say, if you don't hear from me by noon.
09:28:49 Can you ask me if I made a plan?
09:28:51 And it's not her trying to be my mom. It was her doing exactly what I asked her to do. And so that was another way to use an accountability partner.
09:29:01 But what you're hearing me say is that they can be a tool and that they don't have to do anything a certain way
09:29:08 for me to have success because I determined how I used them as a tool. And so I know that sounds terrible when we're talking about our friends and family as tools, but I'm talking about helpful tools. They're helpful. And so I'm telling them how they could be helpful to me.
09:29:23 I am deciding how I want help. I'm not trying to get other people to do things for me.
09:29:29 And so it makes it completely different.
09:29:33 If you are ready to go all in, let's just go all in and figure this out.
09:29:39 I want you to come work with me. I have a community already in place.
09:29:43 And they get to meet every week where we're online, we're sharing some new lesson.
09:29:49 We're getting coached together. So they're sharing their experience together. They get to be excited for each other. They get to be excited when they get to share their journey too.
09:30:00 I also help people one-on-one. So when you come to work with me, I work with you one-on-one
09:30:06 And we offer the group stuff too. And so the one-on-one is where I get to
09:30:11 help you so that you can figure out what the thing is that you need to focus on for the week.
09:30:16 What's holding you back from stopping overeating? What is the thing that makes you not want to write the plan?
09:30:23 Why is it that at eight o'clock at night, when everybody's starting to go to bed, you're going to the pantry to like start in your day of snack attacking?
09:30:32 What is it that's making you do that? What do you need? What's it holding you back from? How can we do this?
09:30:38 How can we make it easy? That's my favorite part. How can we make it easy? Super simple, super easy.
09:30:44 And so when you're feeling like you're all alone, when you're feeling like you're completely isolated from having any fun, being a part of any of your groups, your friends, your family, your coworkers, remember.
09:30:58 That's just the story you're telling yourself right now.
09:31:01 Right now, the story you're telling yourself is that you can't have anything
09:31:05 And that it's all super hard and that you need everyone else
09:31:10 to do it a certain way so that it'll be easier for you.
09:31:13 let me help you make it easier for you.
09:31:18 That way you don't need anyone else around you to change. You can love all the people in your life just the way they are.
09:31:24 And you can get the support you need without anyone else having to change, without anyone else having to be bad because they were so
09:31:32 thoughtful and brought you a donut. It doesn't have to be like that.
09:31:36 If this sounds like something you're interested in.
09:31:39 please reach out to me. We will just have a quick little call. It's free. And we'll see if this is a good fit for you.
09:31:45 You'll schedule that call if that's something you're interested in checking out, getting some information on.
09:31:51 at coachingkara.com forward slash free call.
09:31:55 And I will be able to talk to you about what it is we could do together. We'll figure out
09:32:00 what some of your next steps could look like.
09:32:03 So wrapping up, I want you to hear you're not isolated. You are not alone and you do not need anyone else to do anything any different for you to succeed.
09:32:14 you can do it and I can help you. All right. I'll see you next time.
