2023 - 6:14 LIVE Family Health Public Podcast
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the concierge weight loss podcast, where I empower you to achieve your weight loss goals and live a healthier, happier life. I'm your host, Cara Hackleman, a dedicated weight loss coach and advocate for positive change. Join me as we dive into insightful conversations, expert tips, and inspiring stories to help you transform your relationship with food and your body.
Get ready to embark on a journey of self discovery and sustainable weight loss. And don't forget to stick around until the end for a special call to action that can kickstart your transformation. Let's get started. Today I want to talk to you. It's summer break for so many people. A lot of people have kids at home or even if you're using sitters, you're still interacting.
more with your children than maybe you would during the school year. So I want to make sure that you are fully prepared this summer. So this whole month is all about families. I [00:01:00] am an empty nester now, but I still remember what it was like. Having a kid at home and trying to lose weight and everything trying to be the fun summer for your child and you feeling like you have to keep up with the popsicles and the eating out at restaurants and You know having the extra snacks because you're giving them to the kids And so I want to make sure that you feel a hundred percent prepared for having the kids for the summer It's gonna be just slightly different And I would love for it to be slightly different in a great positive way that empowers you.
You feel more confident having the kids at home and able to also show up for your weight loss at the same time. So that's the goal. Today we're going to talk about achieving weight loss goals and health together as a family. Uh, with that, your kids more than likely have no need for weight loss and so that The focus is on the [00:02:00] togetherness, the, a little bit of, you know, family accountability for each other.
But what I really love is that, um, it's that generational, the generational habits that change. So many families are just generationally, like, creating these habits of overeating together. And so when our families are bonding together, What happens is if it's over food in a manner of overeating, we're not growing healthy together.
We are growing heavier together. And so I want to make sure that we have that opportunity. It starts with you. You're the example. So as you're figuring out your things, remember there's eyes watching. And those little eyes are deciding how they're going to be living their lives later based on you as the example.
And so as you are figuring your stuff out. Remember what you're saying out loud. It's being heard. Do you want that amplified into, [00:03:00] you know, the grandchildren and, and further out that mindfulness will go a long way. So healthy lifestyle, as I'm saying, is not an individual journey. It is. your responsibility, but it's the entire journey of the whole family together.
Um, family support and continuing healthy habits together. That is what creates that generational health. That is even more, I think, important than your personal weight loss, but it starts with you. So your personal weight loss is so important because you are that example. And I talk often with my clients about what their why is.
And generational health, I don't think we think about it sometimes because we're so in the moment with everything. How do I feel in this exact moment? But sometimes just sit and think about what all health habits you were handed down from your parents, grandparents, and [00:04:00] further on. And what do you want to intentionally hand down to other people, um, down your line?
So grandkids, great grandkids, and so forth. It's, it's, uh, eye opening, it's stunning, it's humbling that you have that kind of influence over generations to come. But look back how much influence some of those things have carried with you to where you're at. So, it's humbling, but it's actually Eye opening that you have so much influence.
You are the example. So what example are you wanting to set? Talking to yourself terribly about your weight, that's going to carry on. Is that what you want? Talking about how you're overeating or you're celebrating every single thing with food. Food is, is part of our daily life. It will always be there.
How much of a part do you want it to play? And is overeating [00:05:00] necessary at to be a part of that? So those are things to be thinking about sometime when you have a little noodling time. Uh, I love that word noodling. So families that do things together support and strengthen their bonds, caring and compassion.
Have you ever felt like an island? You feel like this? You feel like the eyesore of an island, right? You're trying to lose weight. You're trying to make better health habits and everyone around you is almost sabotaging you. They are making it so hard, is what I hear, to do anything. Your family is sabotaging you.
Your friends are sabotaging you. All of that. So weight loss. Is not a solo act you are completely responsible for yourself but as the leader the example in the family You get to draw on them, too. And when you're doing certain things together, not everybody has to eat the certain thing. Not everybody has to eat this exact [00:06:00] amount as each other.
But when you're doing things together, you support each other. Let them know what your goals are and make sure that your goals are something that you're okay if that ended up being their goal someday, too. And so if you're saying, I just I just don't want to be fat anymore. Like, how hateful does that sound?
Would you want your kid to tell you, I just don't want to be fat anymore, Mom? No, you want them to be healthy. You want them to be active. You want them to enjoy life. And so, those are some base whys of why you might want to lose weight. You want to be happy. You want to be healthy. You want to, you know, Be able to move and enjoy life.
Those are going to be some really amazing whys that will stick with you, especially when you're thinking about how your kids are watching. Um, sometimes they say, uh, okay, so I was writing this list. This is what I've, I've wrote down. There's just a few things on it [00:07:00] and it's what people are telling me why their families get in the way of them being able to lose weight.
So they say my family is sabotaging me, everything. They eat all the things they, they don't, they don't do any of the things that I need for my weight loss. They'll tell me that weight loss in and of itself is too hard, and it takes up too much time. My family needs me. Their grades are, their, their needs are greater than mine.
And as they're looking at that, they're thinking like, my whole family is gonna fall apart, or I am doing this to my family if I take some time for my own weight loss. So not taking responsibility for your self care is actually what the problem is. Blaming the family and the family they'll learn like as you tell a person how to treat you they'll know how to treat you.
They may choose not to but they know how you want to be treated and if you don't tell them they're never gonna know. [00:08:00] Not asking specifically for what You would like help with so if you're going to say that your family is not supporting you Make sure that you're telling them how you would like to be supported tell them your goals Communication is I have said this so many times communication is So key, tell them your goals, not just what your goal is on the scale, but what your goal is.
Like what we talk about, lifestyle goals of why, why do you want this? I want to be able to run around. I want to be able to play on the floor. I want to be able to, mine was hiking. Mine, a big one was hiking. And I've been doing some, uh, social posts today. And it was, it was all about my why changing. And there's some clips of me.
I was doing some new weightlifting, uh, heavier weights again, and I was feeling pretty doggone proud of myself. We did some jump rope. We did, uh, some cleans and some deadlifts, [00:09:00] and my deadlift was 215 pounds. My clean was 85, and I probably could have done more, but I Still get kind of exhausted with, um, all the jump roping.
And so I, I lowered my weight a little bit, but I was feeling so proud of myself. I noticed that my why for weight loss shifted. It wasn't about hating my body anymore. It was about keeping myself strong to be able to do the things that I love, that empower me, that light me up. And weightlifting is definitely one of them.
I am nine, no means telling you, you need to be a weightlifter, a CrossFitter or any of that. The goal here is for you to find what lights you up and then match your weight loss. So that it gives you that goal lifestyle. That's what I'm saying. Do not hear me wrong. Some people have said, So I have to lift weights like you do.
No, you do not. If you'd want to, that's great. I get such a rush. I feel like such a strong woman and I love it. I love being able [00:10:00] to be a lifter. To be strong. So make sure you're telling them, uh, what it is that you would like help with. Be specific. What is my weight loss goal? Why is that so important to me and what habits, this is the key part, what habits am I intentionally trying to create?
If your family only knows your goal on the scale, they're not really going to know. So they're going to ask you all the time, how much do you weigh? Have you lost weight? If you have it, it's going to be pretty upsetting sometimes. I've not lost weight. Quit asking me. This is them trying to be supportive.
If it's about your habits, It's completely different for one when you rather your kids someday be like I am trying to create this habit of It doesn't mean anything about them. Think about how much your weight has been tied to who you are for so long. So long we've thought, I am good if I've lost. [00:11:00] I am bad if I haven't.
If my body is this shape, I'm acceptable. If it's not, I am unacceptable. Do you want that for your kids? Habits speak directly to the issue. It's not about a matter of what size your child is. It's a matter of How many healthy habits are they doing? Are they lovingly taking care of themselves with those healthy habits?
That's going to be important. So make sure you're using your words to let your family know. These are my goals. These specific healthy habits. It helps you too. It helps your kids to hear what mom's got going on. It helps your husband or whoever you're, you know, a significant other, a best friend, family. It helps them hear exactly what it is that you want support with.
These are my habits and they're going to ask you about those habits to support you with that. If they catch you doing one of those amazing habits, they're going to be like, Oh, look at you. You did this. One of my friends, I'm going to dinner [00:12:00] with her tonight. A bunch of girls from high school, and she comments every time we go out to dinner.
And it's funny because when I was really focused on figuring out my hunger, one of my particular hunger cues is that I sigh. It's like, and it's almost like my body's trying to figure out if there's enough room to put a few more bites in. Or maybe it's just, it's getting me to slow down so that I can let what's in there digest a little bit.
But what I've learned is, when I sigh, I'm done. It used to be, okay, pick the best bites or eat a little bit more or decide then like, you know, could I, could I stuff myself enough to finish this last little bit? It's not anymore. It's just fork down, done. It's like the buzzer going off and you're not trying to get two more reps in if you're lifting weights.
It's, I'm done. This is exactly what I needed. I got it done in the time. So the sigh is my buzzer going off. [00:13:00] She knows when I sigh what that means and so instead of her asking me Are you still trying to lose weight and me try to figure out in my head what that means exactly? She'll say that was your sigh.
Are you done? And it reinforces to her and to me So it's an example to her of how I eat differently now It's an example of how not to overstuff yourself She knows when I sigh that my fork is going down The accountability part of it is beautiful. If my fork does not go down, she'll say, Are you still eating more?
I thought I heard you sigh. And it's not a critical point, it's just clarification. It's beautiful. I have explained to her what my habits are, what my goals are in those habits, and why. And she can totally support me, hold me accountable, and I'm an example for her. That is beautiful right there. That is exactly what I want.
She knows my [00:14:00] overall goal was to lose some weight, but the habits are going to be able to get me there, and the habits do not mean anything about my body. My body is exactly perfect as it is. I'm not saying it's a perfect size whatever, or a perfect specimen of whatever. My body is absolutely enough as it is.
It is perfect as it is, whether I change it or not. My habit is what I wanted to change. My habit is going to give me more health. That habit is the thing that she questions and talks to me about. So, what you want your family's help with. It might be encouragement, it might be healthy meal options. So, I've said before, my family in the beginning, I think they were questioning me.
They were questioning, could, like, really what it is. It's not questioning, it's figuring out the boundaries. They were figuring out how far they could go with any boundary, right? If I said, I am going [00:15:00] to plan and if it's not on my plan, I can put it on tomorrow's plan. They would ask me a hundred times, can we have pizza today?
And I'd say, no, we can have it tomorrow. I want pizza today. Why can't we have it today? And they would just keep on. So I explained why it was important to me. Then the next time they asked me, they asked me less time. I'm telling you, they still ask me again and again and again, can we have pizza? And they were just trying to figure out what was allowable and what wasn't.
Because I had not followed any kind of a diet for long before. So they were just waiting to see how long it was going to take this time. And not in a mean bad way, but that's just the example I'd given for so many times before. So this was new, and it was new for me because I knew it was important. That I wanted to do what I say I do.
I wanted to prove to myself that not only can I show up for [00:16:00] everyone else, but I can show up for me, too. And that first step for showing up for me, too, 100 percent was writing a plan and sticking to it even when it was difficult. Even when my family wanted everything else except for what I planned. So with that the Meal plan options.
Ask your family. What do you want? And so as I was doing that, I would ask them What do you guys want and every time I don't care. I don't care. Okay Well, then you also are not gonna care when I make this You don't get to say you get to say now while I'm making the grocery list you get to say now When I'm asking you, what do you want?
So, in physical activities, it's another way. What kind of physical activities do you want? I see, uh, my, my niece Ashley is on, so hello to you, and I'm going to use you as an example. So, physical activities. She has started, uh, walking with a mom's group. She moved to Florida, and she has a little one, she's pregnant with another one, and she has joined a mom's group, [00:17:00] and they look like this little gang of moms with all their little strollers walking through the neighborhood.
And so she is reinforcing for her family, for her husband, for her son, what healthy physical activity looks like. It doesn't have to be CrossFit like I'm doing, which she has done that before too. It can look like just some family activity, some fun. So she gets that encouragement from other moms. She gets that movement.
It gets her in the sunshine and you know, physical activity, it wears those kids out. So they're ready for a good nap and then mom can have some time to herself. So reminders, like I said, if you this, then this. And so as I was saying with the one friend, when she hears me sigh, she's going to check in like, Hey, did you sigh?
Are you done eating? And if I'm still eating, then it's kind of that. accountability for myself. It's still my choice whether I keep eating or not, but it's a time for [00:18:00] her to be checking in with me and just supporting me. So lead by example. I've said this a few times, um, leading by example, it will inspire change within your family.
So in the beginning, I said my family kept asking for pizza. You're going to inspire change with regular Your family sees exactly what your habits look like and they're going to start following them. Um, water has become a staple in my family. And before I was losing weight, my husband and son drank so much Mountain Dew.
All the flavors, right? All the flavors. And now they both drink water. I started buying the Gatorade packets, the little dry packets. They didn't have sugar in them. And so they would put those in their waters. And so I slowly stopped or slowed down how much other drinks I was buying. And so we have, we have tea, we have unsweet tea, even though my husband keeps trying to get the [00:19:00] extra, extra sweet.
Uh, we have the Gatorade packets. We have flavor packets. I even have flavor packets that have caffeine in them. The whole point is to encourage more water. And so that is a lifestyle change. A habit that I started with that they all carry it on. We go to a restaurant and almost nine times out of 10, everyone at the table orders water.
And that wasn't me asking them to do that. That was an example that I had. Sometimes I would say, oh, you know, three dollars for, you know, a soda. And some places are charging you now for every single soda or tea. So water's just, it's cheaper for one. And then it's just really great for my body. So they're all doing it too now.
Um, lead by example. Habits and self accountability. And so if you've ever been eating and you're like, Oh, I did not need that last bite. Say that out loud. It's not an embarrassment. It's just, um, it's a way to check in with your body and your kids hearing it, your husband hearing it, your family, they're going to [00:20:00] hear that.
And as you're checking in, Out loud, they're going to understand maybe how they know what their hunger is too. So as you're, as you're saying, Oh, that was just a few bites too many. My belly is just a little bloated. I don't like that. I'll have to eat a little bit less next time. That's, that's totally going to make more sense to them.
The other thing is, it lets them hear how fully committed you are. So, not just like, oh, blew that one again. How many times have you said, oh, blew that diet. Guess I'll have to start again on Monday. Instead, it's so much more powerful to hear, that was about two bites too many, and tell them why. So, it helps them hear that you're fully committed.
As you prioritize your self care, they will prioritize their self care. I work with women. Women, we always give all of our time and attention to everybody else. So you taking some time to prioritize your self care. Do you want to raise [00:21:00] children who take care of everybody else and they're the only one who's not being taken care of?
As you prioritize yourself, they're going to see that too, that mom can still prioritize things that are important to her. I get up every day. Um, three days a week I do CrossFit. One day a week I do mobility and those are times for me. Sometimes I go to bed early even when other people are still up in the house and I'm like, I need a bubble bath and I need some sleep.
I'm prioritizing my self care. Sometimes, it's really looked like saying no. And if you know me, outside of coaching, you know that my husband wanted to write, tattoo the word no on my forehead because I never said no to anybody. So, prioritizing self care that time looked like saying no to things that maybe I wasn't 100 percent lit up doing so that I wasn't dying inside.
That sounds so dramatic. Whenever I had to do them and didn't feel like it. So, prioritizing my healthy eating, my movement. And here's the other one mindset. That's a [00:22:00] funny word. If you're not sure what that means, it means what you think and what you believe. So when I prioritize spending some time on my mindset, it's just looking at all my thoughts, looking at why, what is it I'm believing and why do I believe it?
Cause I can tell you. 90 percent of my thoughts are not facts. The fact is, I ate some food. My thought is I've ruined everything. I'm not going to be able to do this. I'm going to gain all my weight back. And those are my thoughts. None of those thoughts are true. So just checking in with your mindset, your thoughts and your beliefs.
Quite often, see what are facts and then kind of question, why am I believing these other things? A lot for me was my, um, habit of not speaking kindness and love I did in everyone else, but not in myself. So that is for sure. They're creating those healthy habits with your family. It is fun. Okay. And I'm going to tell you, there's some butting of head sometimes when you [00:23:00] try to get them out of their comfort zone for my family.
It was figuring out what are you going to make us do? What can't we have this time? And so as they started to get a little more comfortable, it took them a while, but as they got more comfortable, they understood nothing major is happening to them. And actually now mom cooks food all the time. We have amazing food.
And so I would ask that once a week. What do you guys want? Let's put it on the plant. I got to decide where it went on the. menu for the week, what day it was easier for me to make that, or if I was going to say you're going to make that today, or you're going to help with this last part of it. So I was just kind of the, um, what, oh, I was thinking of the word foreman.
I was kind of the foreman on the project of meal planning for the family. Sometimes it's great. Ask your kids to go shopping with you. Give them two or three items that it's their job to find and put in the cart. Of course, depending on their age, right? Maybe if they're younger, you're gonna have them hold the cart.
Hold the cart. You're gonna have them push [00:24:00] the cart. You're gonna have them mark the groceries off the list as you show them which ones it is. And then have them help with cooking. Maybe they are the official This is gonna sound crazy if you have littles, but maybe they are the official Chopper of foods.
I'm talking butter knife chopper, or depending on, you know, their age, getting them to learn how to use a knife even properly. Or maybe their job is just to get all the groceries and put them on the counter before you make dinner. But let them have a part of it and then be like, Oh yeah, praise them. They were such a good helper.
They really made the dinner, this part of it today. Um, So, planning your food, shopping for it, cooking for it. You can definitely do those things together. Your family will have more buy in on your weight loss, on their family generational health, right? As they're active in it. It's not you doing it to them.
Or them not doing something and you not being able to lose weight. It's a together thing. Pick your [00:25:00] physical activity or movement. And like I said, it does not mean that you're out lifting weights or running marathons together, but if that's your GM, go for that too. Just pick something. Maybe it's a walk, like I said, my niece, or maybe it's, uh, kicking a ball in the backyard or, um, We, we do, uh, some hikes.
I love hiking and being out in the, in the woods and just enjoying that. And it doesn't have to be, it can be leisurely or it can be a picked up pace, whatever you want. Make sure you're focusing on fun, whatever the movement is. If it feels like. It's exercise being done to you. I can't even say it without squishing up my face, right?
Exercise. Oh, if it feels like it's not fun, you're not going to want to do it. They're not going to want to do it and you're just going to butt heads while you try to do it. So make sure whatever the activity is, it's fun. Maybe it's running through some sprinklers. Have fun with it. Whatever is fun for your kids.
Make it fun. There's some for a little bit older kids There's these really great things called geo caching [00:26:00] and you can look them up find them and people hide things And so as you take a hike or whatever you go and you search for this little treasure. And so sometimes bring some and you put one in, take something with you.
Um, or you just find the treasures. Um, making sure that your kids are trying new things. And so that can be difficult. A lot of kids are like chicken nugget kids and French fries. So there's no variety. Let them go to the store and look at everything and be like, what are we going to try today? Especially in the produce area, that is so fun because the colors are, are very vibrant and fun and let them pick out something and then you guys figure out how to make it.
That is such a great bonding activity and healthy. So, maybe try a master chef. Everybody makes a part of the food, uh, a part of the meal and then you, you put it on like it's a master chef performance. So whatever that is, you get to figure out how that is. Just bring your family in on it. [00:27:00] When everybody is focused on habits and fun togetherness, it's going to make your weight loss easier.
It's going to create that generational health. That really is what you want to influence all of the kids and family on. I feel like I'm saying family a lot today. So embracing that healthier lifestyle as a family, it's a transformative journey. That's a funny word. I should have picked a shorter word, a transformative journey, closer together and lasting habits.
It's going to set a solid foundation for success in your weight loss and in your family's health. And remember, Not perfection, but progress. It's a support along the way kind of thing. So, I am going to present to you something about families. We have two more weeks for this month, and every single week it's going to be about families, since we have the kids at home for the summer.
Something will be waiting for you each week. I would love for you to take this special offer. Go to [00:28:00] my website, coachingkara. com, and I'm going to give you this extra. Do a forward slash free course, everything in lowercase. It's going to be a five day free course so that you can get started in your weight loss.
This is the simple steps that I started with and it makes a big difference. Even before you start doing all the heavy lifting, this right here will get you such actionable, um, results. Like, you do something, you get a result. You instantly feel better. It's not a diet. It's 100 percent just taking great care of your health.
But, it creates wonderful weight loss results. So, I will see you next week. Bye. That wraps up another empowering episode of the Concierge Weight Loss Podcast. I hope you found inspiration and actionable insights that will propel you towards your weight loss goals. If you're ready to dive deeper and accelerate your progress, don't miss out on our free five day quick start weight loss course.
Head over to [00:29:00] coachinghera. com forward slash free course to gain access to a wealth of valuable resources, guidance, and support. The time for change is now, and I'm here to guide you every step of the way. Remember, your transformation starts with a single step. Take that step today and unlock the life you deserve.
Stay tuned for our next episode and remember to keep striving for greatness.
