2023 - 5:17 LIVE Procrastination Public Video Blog
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[00:00:00] Today, I want to talk to you a little bit about prioritizing and taking action for successful weight loss. So that's a lot of words. And so we'll break that down, see exactly what that means. So prioritizing and taking action. for successful weight loss. So as I was writing this, what I was thinking about was like, what exactly does procrastination mean, right?
And that was where my brain was going with all of this. So, what happens is that we put it off, right? We're not prioritizing it. We're definitely not taking action. So we're not losing weight. You're probably thinking that like, I can start, but I can't stick with it. Or other people might be saying, but I can't even start.
So are you thinking it's too hard or that, um, uh, you're not even trying, maybe you're not even trying out of something, right? You're thinking that, um, you're not capable of [00:01:00] doing it. So you don't even try, right? So if I'm not capable, why would I even try before? Do you want it? That's what I always say. Do you want it?
Can we figure it out together? That kind of thinking. That part is going to go so much further than I can't do this. So, let's see. I might be having some internet connection issue, it looks like. So, we will see how that goes. I'm just going to keep on going. Um, where did I? Sorry, I got sidetracked. I scrolled off when I saw the notice that the internet's unstable at the moment.
Uh, let's see here. There you go. That's where I was at. So you think you might not be able to do it. So you don't try, you don't start, you don't even see what part of it you could do. You're thinking you're not worth the time to do it. Maybe you're thinking, it's going to take a lot of time and I'm not worth the time.
So it's like a [00:02:00] self worth thing. So sometimes it's like, I'm not capable. Sometimes it's, I don't know how, sometimes it's, I'm not worthy of it. And some people just really avoid discomfort. They run from it at all costs. The uncertainty, the discomfort, they're running. They're finding a new way out. And so when it comes to weight loss, you're probably in some uncertain territory, or you would have already lost the weight, right?
And so that uncertain territory, That is a little scary sometimes for people and so if you're not used to being Uncomfortable with some things and a little bit uncertain and I'm not saying uncertain about everything, right? It might be uncertain about the hundred steps. It's gonna take to get to your goal, but I know what today's step can be, right?
That's going to be some certainty that you can bring to it. So fear of failure, fear of success. [00:03:00] As I was writing this, I kept laughing at how many times fear came up and so fear of this and fear of that. And then it went back and forth between not just the fear of failure, right? Failing the, uh, the weight loss, failing my abilities, but sometimes people switch over.
And they're afraid of succeeding. Like what would that mean? So it, in my membership, like with my private clients, I am diving into that this week about what exactly are you afraid of? And so when you're. You're stuck in, in no action, right? You're not able to prioritize. You're not able to take that action.
What are you afraid of? And like when we get to that root cause of something, we'll be able to take some action, some little bit, even if we're scared, even if there's still all that fear and discomfort, the uncertainty, it can come right along with us and take the [00:04:00] next step. Yeah. Yeah. So. With weight loss coaching, that's what I, I do is I help the, uh, help you figure out what it is, what that issue was, right?
So I'm not telling you a diet. I'm telling you how to work with your mindset. You can follow any diet. You've probably done that on and off for years. If you're like the majority of my clients, but when you really affect your, your mindset on it, you're going to notice that. Things be I love this. It was a book that I read, but I love how she changed this word.
Things become figureoutable. And so you can figure it out because you know how your mind works, you know what stops you, and you know how to get past it. And when you learn that, Anything you do will be able to be figureoutable. You'll be able to get to the next step. You'll find what works, what didn't work.
And so you're not going to look for a certain diet anymore. You're going to look for what in my [00:05:00] head is holding me back. And that's what I help with. So weight loss coaching helps you figure out what's holding you back. I always joke, like when people are like, What are, you, you're a weight loss coach, what do you do?
And I'm like, I tell you four things. Manage your sleep and your water. Make a plan of what you're going to eat, and pay attention to your hunger so that you're only eating when you're actually hungry. Which means you've stopped when you're no longer hungry, when you've had enough. That's four things, and they're not very diet y type things.
And so what Weight Loss Coaching does is it helps with all those things, but it really shines with anything that prevents you from doing those things. So that's the part I help with. So you're gonna lose weight with manageable goals. So like I said, if you're uncertain and you don't know the hundreds of steps between here and there, we're gonna manage some steps, right?
We're gonna figure it out. So if you're doing this on your own, pick a couple steps that you're sure would [00:06:00] move the direction. It might not get you all the way to the end, but it's gonna move you just a smidge and then you're gonna figure out the next steps when they need new steps, right? When this stops working, when you plateau, when you're like, I need something else.
I, or I, or the other part is I have mastered this so well that now I'm ready for something else. You don't have to wait till you're ready and you've mastered something, but sometimes that's That's the key to the next step. I help my clients with coping tools. And so when I was talking a second ago, I kept saying about how, um, uncomfortable, like it was discomfort that people will, were fearing.
Goodness. I talk so much. I'm talking out my voice running right out of it. So if you're discomfort, you're, you're fearing the fear, right? The discomfort of fear, [00:07:00] uncertainty. I'm going to help you with some coping tools because the thing is you're always going to have something that you don't know that brings uncertainty.
So if you have better coping tools with how to be uncomfortable, what to do when we're uncertain, how to make a step, manageable goals. That is going to take you again and again to the next steps. Whatever your steps look like, each person's is slightly different or in a different order. And that's the kind of thing I help with.
You're definitely going to improve your self esteem. When you start marking off what you can do, what you have achieved, it is, it is a rush. It is better than any sugar dopamine high that you're gonna get from food. You're gonna feel accomplished. And that is exciting stuff. It is, that is more addictive than food of any kind.
So that improvement in self esteem that I am capable, I have achieved this, I figured this out. [00:08:00] Super, super addictive right there, which it's kind of a good thing to be addicted to. It gets things done for sure. So you're going to know the difference between responsibility and self blame when you work with me.
And so sometimes it's the language and, and, you know, sometimes it's just a habit, like what words we're using when we're talking and we don't realize, um, the difference. One definitely sounds very critical and blaming. And the other is. You know, like yeah, this happened. It was my choice and now this is what I want to do different or you know I understand why I did something or something like that kind of those that that thread of it.
So if if it's Responsibility it's going to motivate you to take another action if you're blaming criticizing The only action you might take to get out of that is like to get out of the discomfort. So like your [00:09:00] momentum might be to get out, but that is not a maintainable. You cannot maintain acting out of criticism and blame, that kind of thing.
So definitely we'll work with the responsibility. And then of course, support and accountability, those kinds of things. Those are all what my clients and I work with. So I want to talk to you about what, What that might look like. So, as I tell you this, think about, does this resonate with me? Like, is this something that I, I do?
Right? So, do you put things off till the last minute? And so, what that might be like is, no, no, no, I always get them done on time. That's not what I'm saying. Do you wait till the last minute? Do you know, like, If I said we were going to lose five pounds in three months and you're going to say, well, I, I've been working on it, but I really didn't get started until about month two.[00:10:00]
And so putting things off to the last minute, right? Um, it might look like you're putting things off in your groceries, buying groceries, making a list. It might be that you're putting things off. in making a decision, like writing a plan. That is one that clients again and again and again, they keep saying like, Oh, it's so restrictive if I write a plan.
But the truth is there's real freedom when you write the plan. It gives you the freedom to make sure since we're only having so much hunger a day anyway, right? It gets the foods in there that you really love. So that it gives it freedom for sure. Maybe, um, you're noticing that, like I said, that you're afraid of the discomfort of the uncertainty.
And you're either taking small, small actions that you're, uh, comfortable with, or you're not taking any. So, sometimes It's fine to start with a real small action so that you feel like I've got a little confidence here. I can probably try a little [00:11:00] something else. And then you start growing in that momentum.
Other times people are just really telling me they're super duper afraid to try anything. So did you resonate at all whenever I said that there's a fear of failure? What about a fear of success? Right? And so if you're not prioritizing and taking action, you might look at that. Like, am I afraid of failure?
And if so, why? Like what part is it I'm afraid of failing? Am I afraid of success? And it changes. So as you're on your journey, be ready because it's gonna change. And um, what you're no longer afraid of because you've conquered that, now it'll be something new or it'll swap. It'll switch over, swap over to a fear of success.
And so mine was kind of a fear of success there for a while and it was a fear of having to maintain and, um, it doesn't [00:12:00] sound rational because that sounds like exactly what I wanted, right? To maintain my weight loss. But I would get to a place where I was afraid. I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to maintain it.
I was afraid it was going to be too hard. I was afraid it was going to be restrictive. Uh, I would never be able to have things again. It's like all that stuff I just said about the freedom that comes with planning my food. All that went right out the window and I went straight back to my old thinking of has to be restrictive, so I'm afraid of success because then I'll have to be restrictive for my whole life.
Oh my gosh, can you imagine that kind of talk going in your head all the time? Of course it's gonna be fearful and it's going to feel very uncomfortable, right? So with my clients, I, I do, I start with like, what are you certain of? Like, are you certain that you'll never be able to have a cheesecake again?
No, we're not. That's like silly, [00:13:00] right? We of course can have cheesecake at goal. So maintaining can include cheesecake and then work with that. So kind of breaking through some of our own poking holes. I like to say poke holes in some of our thinking. So I am not very good at seeing these. Oh, Gina says, why would someone be afraid of success?
And then she said, I get it. So Yep, so fear of success and there's lots of different ones too. Um the maintaining it Uh, I have a client who is afraid to be smaller because she's afraid that it is going to Make her, um more susceptible to getting mugged or raped or beaten or something. And so she has a fear of succeeding because in her head she has put it together with, with, um, being harmed in some way.
And so, uh, [00:14:00] It can look like anything as far as like what that fear of success is to it sounds different because we think no, no, no, we want success, but people are afraid of it. So, um, and then out of that fear, sometimes you're not prioritizing your goals. So if you're not prioritizing your goals, you're probably not taking action.
So some people are afraid to set the goals, they're afraid to even set an action, and then some of them are afraid to prioritize it. So like, I set the action, I do want it, but it's more of a wish, a dream. It's not like a complete take action kind of a thing yet. So they're learning, so that's fun. Um, And like I said, that just leads to a lack of progress.
It leads to missed opportunities and you turn to food to cope, which this one's funny, right? So you want to lose weight. So you're trying to eat a little less, right? Trying to figure out our hunger cues. And then We're [00:15:00] afraid to do those things, so then we eat more food because of the fear. We eat more food because of the discomfort of trying or not trying and feeling bad about it, blaming ourselves.
So that is not the best pattern to get into. Okay, my little clicker thing wasn't working. The next part I put on here was that if you're focusing on avoiding the discomfort that subconsciously you're saving yourself from the discomfort. And so it's another way to say it. So in case you didn't quite get it the way I said it the first time, you're saving yourself.
So when we talk about like emotional eating, it's a coping tool. So if you are, Um, really focused on avoiding discomfort instead of being okay with it. You're coping by, um, saving yourself from it. So you're preventing the discomfort by avoiding it, but you're also preventing your [00:16:00] weight loss. So just another way to say it that I wanted to say there.
Um, So not creating goals, not taking action, no progress. Um, this particular person, when I was writing this, she was blaming herself and everyone around her. So that didn't work, right? Blaming, um, yourself and everyone around you. So that goes back to that taking responsibility, not. Self blaming, and there's a difference there.
Um, your family, this one's funny, so your family can do all the things, and you can still do what you need to do. It, it feels different because we get it all jumbled up in our head, and it's the story we've been telling ourself, but when you start picking things apart, is this real? Is this really true? Is this a fact?
Is this, is this how it is, or is this the story I've been telling myself? Could it look like something else, right? And so as you're doing that, it'll start to kind of poke holes in your story and you'll start realizing, [00:17:00] like, I don't, just because my family eats whatever in this quantity or of this type doesn't mean I have to, and I can still sit at the table and have whatever I've chosen for myself.
Not saying that you have to have two different meals, but you can stick to a plan even when people around you are doing their own thing. So, that was what I had with that one. Um, The person that I wrote that about, she started having like this, uh, productivity. So like in her work, she was more productive in her, um, like just managing her time instead of putting things off and managing, um, a plan.
It just skyrocketed as far as that ability to get more done and to, to try things and be more willing to be uncomfortable. It was, it was amazing. And I love that her self esteem truly grew as she was working with this, not missing out on any [00:18:00] opportunities to make some progress. And again, you know, we talk about what celebrating wins looks like.
And so. It doesn't have to be the final goal for us to start celebrating. We're going to look for any opportunity we can to celebrate and that's going to get the progress. So, you're not going to miss out on progress because we're celebrating every single step along the way. Alright, I did some good covering.
I would love to talk to you. So, I have um, This week, I have a group session that's coming up Friday, so you do not have to miss it. We're gonna dive into all of the things and see exactly what it is that people are afraid of. It's a fun conversation because at first you're like, I'm not afraid of anything!
And then as we start talking you're like, well, I guess I I do have a thought about whatever. I am a little afraid of this or that. And [00:19:00] so when you address those fears right off the bat, it just kind of dissolves them. It diminishes them. And so they don't become, they're still there sometimes. They still pop up from time to time.
But what we notice is that they don't, um, they don't take center stage anymore. And so then it, it allows us to, Make the choices, make the goals, set the goals. Have small little actionable things without it having to feel like it has to be all or nothing. It can just be the next couple steps. It doesn't have to be all of them at one time.
And so it's great. I love it. And that's the kind of stuff we're going to be working on this Friday. So it's not too late to go ahead and join us so that you can get in on that group call. Um, so the way my membership works. You get, um, a one on one session each week. So we really can have the opportunity to dive into maybe sometimes [00:20:00] even the personal things.
Sometimes people have a couple things they want to talk about that are just a little too personal or too uncomfortable to share in a group setting. And so sometimes people email me or message me, um, and I can answer those questions. But you get one on one with me. Um, face to face on Zoom, uh, so kind of just like this where you're seeing my face, I see your face, and we talk, and we get to work on exactly what's going on with you.
What is it that's bothering you? And the thing is, I'm a life coach, so I get to hear what you're saying, but I also get to hear all those things that you're not quite saying, and I'm like, well hold on, let's, what did you mean by this? And sometimes that Little question gives your brain enough of an opportunity to stop believing something that you've just always believed and really look at it from a little bit different perspective.
Well, why did I say that? What, what am I thinking about that? Why, why does that bother me? Why, [00:21:00] why, why have I just accepted that? Why am I choosing to still believe that or to still talk that way, right? That's kind of a glimpse of what it's like and so as I'm supporting you, I'm coaching you and holding you accountable to your thoughts so that you can use them for momentum and not to hold you back.
That's exactly what life coaching is. It's beautiful. I love it. It gets things done. So if you're ready to get things done in your weight loss, Let's start together. Um, I have in the show notes on everything, on social, on the podcast, everything. You're going to see the link in the bio there, the show notes.
And it's coachingkara. com forward slash linktree, L I N K T R E E. It has a really great little button in there that lets you schedule some time to talk with me. We're going to talk about how to get you started in your weight loss. You're gonna hear all about the [00:22:00] program, make a decision if this works for you.
Some people like the group, so we have a group session. You also get the one on one. I have programming. Anything that you could need, we're gonna make it work. That's why we call it concierge weight loss, because no two people have to lose weight the same way. Whatever you need. I'm going to help you get what you need so that you can succeed and move on to worrying about how you're going to plan your day, not about all the food or the restriction or worrying about if you did it right or wrong.
So that's what I want for you. I also. Want to let you know, if you love this group concept and you would like to bring it to your workplace, I just need your HR person or whoever's in charge of the healthy, um, programming for your workplace to give me a call, give me an email, whatever. And we'll get that set up for your workplace too.
I will see you next week and I [00:23:00] cannot wait to hear what actions you took. So send those to me and schedule a call so that we can get you started in your weight loss journey. Have a good day.
