2024 - 4:26 LIVE Public Podcast
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[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to the concierge weight loss podcast. My name is Cara Hackleman, and I'm a certified life and weight loss coach. I help people just like you lose weight for the last time. Are you a little people pleasing, a little procrastinating, and maybe a little perfectionistic? Do you eat when you are not even necessarily hungry?
I can help you overcome that so you can finish losing weight and get out of your own way. Join me each week to get a little motivation and a lot of inspiration. I am Kerr Hackleman. I am the owner and host of Concierge Weight Loss. So we have a weight loss program with coaching and I also have a podcast.
So however you got here today, I'm so happy you're here with me. Today, I'm, like I said, I'm super thrilled to get to talk about this. Today, we're going to talk about how to lose weight like a superhero. [00:01:00] So if you're searching for a superhero to save you, you are in the right place. When I started, I was completely obsessed.
So when I, I've lost over 60 pounds myself. When I first started, I was completely obsessed with trying to find whatever was the perfect diet for me. I thought that I was looking for some magic pill, some perfect food plan, some, something that I did not yet know about, and that was going to make all of my weight issues go away.
It was going to make it all easy and super sustainable. Um, and that's what I thought I was looking for. I was looking for something outside of myself. That's what we'll say. So instead, what I found out was that I needed to be my own superhero. And I can tell you, so the first year I did the vision board.
I, [00:02:00] I did all the things. And so I lost my weight with coaching. That's, that is so near and dear to my heart. And so I did the vision board. I did the word of the year. I did all those things. My word of the year was fierce and I became super, um, in love with Wonder Woman and it felt all empowering because I didn't feel powerful.
I didn't feel capable. And so I thought this envisioning of Wonder Woman, the superhero was who I wanted to become. And what's really cool was at some point I realized I wanted to become the superhero. I wasn't looking anymore outside of myself. So I started looking inside. And so with coaching, I get to teach you how to look for the answers within.
You're not going to be looking for the next fad diet or the next magic pill or shot or whatever it is, surgery, whatever. You're going to [00:03:00] look for the answers within, and it may include some of those things, but. you're going to look within and decide for yourself. And I'm going to empower you. You're going to become so empowered that you can trust your own decisions that you, you know, that looking within you'll also be able to make a decision and trust it.
You'll have confidence in yourself that you can figure this out and anything. So I want to also help you realize like Part of it is giving yourself that strength, um, and trusting in your strength that you can figure this out and have compassion while you're doing these hard things imperfectly. That compassion piece was probably the hardest for me to figure out.
So I bought in quick about like, I could do things. I saw other people doing them. Someone had to figure it out first, right? And they were able to. So I would be able to. But, uh, the [00:04:00] compassion for myself, especially when I didn't do it right, how, you know, that, that took longer for me to figure out to trust that it was okay to be compassionate and that there was more than one way to get to my goal.
And then if I was going to do this forever, I had to stop beating myself up. So I had to learn compassion. Even when I made mistakes and it didn't lead me to my goal, um, it was just a little side trip. It wasn't a completely different direction. And I, I've, I've figured out that that is okay and I've gotten, um, more okay with having that be, uh, a little different than what I expected.
So. what you think you are looking for in your superhero, right? So you think that the superhero that's going to save you is going to do all the heavy lifting. So they've already figured it out. They're going to tell you how to do the hard things so that you don't have to figure them out and tell you how to do it easier, [00:05:00] right?
Um, maybe you think your superhero has time warp and they can just make it all happen automatically or faster at least, right? It'd be great if we didn't have to experience it. We could just end and be, Oh, so I used to say if I could just have like a magic button that would let me see how great I felt when I lost all my weight, that would be the thing that motivated me.
And then I would be willing to go back and do the work. If I could have a taste of what it would be like at my goal, doing the things I love. Um, the clothes I like, like, feeling how she would feel for just a moment, I thought that would make it so that I could do all the work. So I thought if I could make it faster or I could just jump to the end, that would be a superhero I was hoping to find.
Um, Save you from yourself. Maybe you're looking for someone who can save you from yourself. You know that you are a [00:06:00] nervous Nelly or negative all the time. You're doubting yourself and you realize like that's that's probably some of your problem. You know that you've always turned to food when you You could do a little bit of effort and, and look for something else, but the food was quick.
It was easy. And so you just did it. So maybe you're looking for someone to save you from yourself. I, uh, I remember thinking like, It was outside of me. Then I thought, no, no, no, it's all me. And then I'm the problem. That's when that compassion piece really got tested because when I realized everything was within myself and my choices, it became even more of a point of contention with myself that I wasn't doing the things.
And so it's a process. Um, so yeah, save you from yourself, your own criticism, your own self sabotage, your own excuses, right? Um, [00:07:00] maybe you're looking for somebody, uh, you're looking for a superhero here that can keep you going when you get knocked down, right? So you think of a superhero who's, like, just taking punch after punch and they get up every single time.
And you're thinking, if I could just Just be that superhero. I could have a little bit of that super strength that I could just keep getting up every time. Um, just think about it for a minute. What qualities do you admire in your superheroes? We have so many fabulous superheroes now, like things that I would never have thought should be a superhero power, but like, we've seen them all, right?
And then, Even outside of the comic books and the movies, like, you've seen other people and you see their strengths. What are you admiring? Start thinking about it. Like, you can admire it and maybe try to figure out how to harness some of that for yourself, but are you wanting that for yourself or are you looking at them as [00:08:00] better than you?
Are you looking at them like, no, no, no, they have it all figured out. That's, that's just not in the book for me. That's not in my cards. Are you looking at them to just, or somebody, a diet or something to come and save you, to just like make it all go away and it not have to be any effort. And it just happened.
I looked at that many times. Uh, I've told you guys that I, I was willing to gain more weight so that I could have weight loss surgery because I thought if I have weight loss surgery, I'm not going to have to go through the in between stuff. Someone else will have done it and I won't be able to eat. I had this idea, but I have so many people that come to me and tell me.
They overate what their stomach could handle. Their stomach stretched right back out. And they still had weight issues later. They lost it all and then they gained it all back. And so, learning how to, uh, manage all of that overeating, the reasons why you're wanting to overeat. That was what was the key [00:09:00] for me instead of thinking I needed something fast and quick.
I needed something that wasn't going to make me have to do any effort. I started learning like I can do a lot of things, right? So, um, how to become your own superhero, right? So I told you, I totally. worshiped Wonder Woman. I thought she was a super compassionate character but yet she was super powerful too, right?
And her ability to fight for what was right and justice but have like crazy love and compassion for people, that was my entire thought. Like here, I even had a cup made. For myself and so when I got I we call it wonderland when you get to the oh any Wonderland under 200 pounds. I was very proud of myself.
So I had um, I splurged quite a bit and had this cup made says she believed she could so she did And it [00:10:00] feels like the epitome of like what i'm proud of myself And I see it as a reminder every day because sometimes it gets a little hard occasionally. I get a little frustrated, you know with myself and so I drink my water out of my cup every single day.
I remember that in the beginning it was hard for me to get, you know, even a basic 64 ounces of water in a day. I was barely getting a quarter of that in or half of it in. And now I'm up to, Oh gosh, a good gallon a day, depending on my day, maybe even some more. Um, but. I drink out of my cup so that I have that visual reminder that how far I've come in it.
And it does, it brings me pride. Even when today's not going the way I wanted it to, or today feels like it's slower than I would like it to be as far as progress. So I have these visual reminders. So I started to become my own superhero. Um, I started figuring out how, what qualities, What did I think would be [00:11:00] important and what could I do to embody those qualities, right?
I started practicing doing hard things. I kind of got a little addicted to doing hard things. I went from being so intimidated, so afraid to try hard things. That then I thought everything had to be hard. I had to kind of clean up some thinking in my brain that everything doesn't have to be hard. It doesn't have to be easy either.
Um, but I'm capable of doing hard things. I'm also capable of figuring out how to make it easier for myself so that I can keep doing it longer, right? And then I started to praise myself like crazy. Even if I made a mistake, even then, just for trying. I was like, I, I was so awesome. I was able to try something different and that helped me like not having to know that how to do it, not knowing how to do it the right way, not doing it right.
Just knowing that I'm going to keep trying so [00:12:00] I decided to That my my superpower was going to be that time simply doesn't exist for me It doesn't stand still and it doesn't warp speed. It just doesn't exist. And so that sounds silly I know but what I started to think about was if my Weight loss was just gonna be part of my life forever.
I'm not planning to lose it fast so that I can fit into a dress or feel good for the summer. No, no, no. This is gonna be my life. And I know you've heard diet say it's a lifestyle change, but I wanna say it's more than a lifestyle change. It's a, it's a state of being and so it's not so much of the things I'm doing.
It's who am I and as I decided who I was and part of this was figuring out my own superhero, my own super strengths, right? I started thinking about what, what I want to be, who I want to be, how I, how I want to be, right? All of [00:13:00] those kinds of things. So I started to decide that time just doesn't exist for me.
I just, especially in my weight loss is what I mean. I am going to do this. forever. I am not going to do it to lose weight and then stop because I'm going to make sure that it's not so hard that I'm looking for the end. I'm learning how to make this so much of my life, so, so loving, so much of a self care type of a thing that all the time I'm able to do it.
All the time. I, I Do it because it's how I love myself. I do it because that's how I take care of my body. I, I just do this. This is what I do. This is who I am. Um, and I started figuring out not only who am I, but who am I not? And so I am not a person who shies away from hard things. I am not a person who feels like, uh, they can't even try [00:14:00] something or that if they don't do it right, that it's going to be, um, the end of the world.
So we might as well not even try. I am not that person. So I figured out who am I and who am I not? And how does that look for me? What does that mean for me? So time doesn't exist as far as my weight loss is concerned. This is just how I am. This is just who I am. I am a person who plans their meals. I am a person who eats foods that my body loves.
I am a person who does not. overeat regularly anymore. I do not turn to food for all of my emotions. Not to say I don't sometimes, but the majority of the time I have gotten to a point where I am really able to feel uncomfortable. I'm also able to get myself out of discomfort. So without food. And that was important.
Those were some really great superhero techniques for myself. So nothing is wrong with you now. I just want you to say that you do not need to be saved. You are [00:15:00] 100 percent amazing, beautiful, wonderful, all of the things, and especially worthy. I want you to hear that you are completely enough. You are completely worthy.
Always, always, and you can't give me a qualifier that would tell me you're not like every bit of you is 100 percent worthy right now, exactly as you are at whatever time you think was your worst time, you were 100 percent enough and worthy then to and so none of this makes you better and none of it makes you worse.
I want you to hear that. I. have worked hard to try to drop the good bad, the better, you know, kind of language from me because I have goals and so I feel like I'm doing good if I'm hitting my goals but that kind of all of the efforts when I didn't hit the goal. If all I'm looking for is the goal. [00:16:00] So, um, I want to make sure that I'm celebrating every bit along the way.
So even trying, I am super. Like celebrate, celebratory, celebrating every single time I try something. I make trying a huge accomplishment. And then the efforts that lead to the results, the weight loss, those are great too. I'm so excited when those happen, but when I'm focusing on everything, I'm trying all of it is exciting.
All of it has like so much pride for how I, how I feel about what I'm doing. That was important for me because it was easy to get into my head. And so like, if you hear like, there's this back and forth of where your thoughts and your actions go, because it's a journey. It goes in all these different directions.
And so that's why coaching was so amazing for me. I could bring it to, uh, coaching and find out like [00:17:00] what's going on. was a thing that moved me closer to my goal, then sometimes actually stunted my growth in other directions. And so just keep going back and forth and figuring out like what I was thinking, what I was making it mean.
Why is this important? Why am I getting in my own way with this? Or how is this a tool to use? Like all of that was amazing to bring to coaching. So you too can get knocked down and get back up. You don't need to make it a problem. It is not wrong. Just step into the process. Pick anything and step into the process.
So, um, whatever you thought you were looking for in all of those diets, whatever you tried, you decide what you need and, um, what worked. So I'm not going to tell you that when you tried all these different diets. That it didn't work. I'm also not going to tell you that [00:18:00] When you were coping with food that it didn't work.
There's parts of everything that you can see worked, right? So, with the diet, maybe I realized in restriction, this is what I learned, I did, um, I've done everything. Whole30, I've done, you know, Keto and Atkins. I've done Weight Watchers. I've done all kinds of different things, right? And, um, crazy pills. Crazy pills that I don't know how.
They're, uh, legal, but, uh, things that your body, uh, it's supposed to bring weight loss. Um, I had one that blocked fat in your body from absorbing. I couldn't get off the toilet. I would call the doctor and I was like, of course I'm going to lose weight because unless I bring food into the toilet with me, I am never going to eat again because I cannot get off the toilet.
And I thought, what in the world? Who thought this was a great idea? Because it wreaked havoc on my system, I can tell you. But each of those things [00:19:00] I learned. something about myself. I learned something about how my body processed food. I learned all kinds of things. With Whole30, I learned how a lot of different foods reacted in my body.
In Weight Watchers, I can tell you I learned that I do not like to count points and calories. I do not like to do that. I also learned that I could plan ahead. So with Weight Watchers, I had to plan ahead. to be able to make my points last all day. So I can tell you, I did learn how to plan ahead for food.
Um, but I noticed that the whole program was not. What I was looking for and so I needed to come up with what worked for me And so that is what I did. I figured it out. I was my own superhero. I figured out Emotionally what I needed physically what kind of care my body needed and how I could lovingly get myself to goal.
And so I did all that with a [00:20:00] coach and I get to do that with my clients. I love this part, figuring out what do they want. So I'm not telling you everything you need to do. I'm definitely helping you come to some conclusions on what you need to do, but these are your decisions. They're your ideas. And Sometimes they change and that's exactly what needs to happen when it happens.
So I'm going to push my clients a little to figure out what are they capable of? How can they grow from a little bit of a push? But I'm also super compassionate. I absolutely love you. I want you to succeed. So I'm not going to beat you into submission. It didn't work for me and I don't want to do that to you either, but we can compassionately lovingly figure out what it is that you need and then I can support you.
I can hold you accountable. Those are things that I do. So, uh, I, how I support you when you work with me, I keep you going. I'll help you keep [00:21:00] going. I help you figure out what's standing in your way, your obstacles. I help you. I help you feel empowered enough to overcome them. I help you realize that your wisdom is exactly the wisdom for what's perfect in that situation.
Knowing it could change later, but for right now, it was the exact bit of wisdom. And then we learn each time we try something. You grow. Your knowledge continues to grow. And every time that you've If you've tried whether you had success or what you would call a failure, you didn't quite get the mark. You learned more and more and more.
And all of that wisdom comes with you. So that's why I say it's best to tap in to you and what you are willing to do, what you desire and how to do it. We can figure this out together. It's great. I help you keep trying. So when you get knocked down, like Dude, this is not the end of the world. You know, you didn't learn how to walk in one day either.
Let's keep [00:22:00] going. We'll figure this out. That was just one bit of information to, to learn along the way. And each time you get back up, you get stronger, you get smarter, you get more willing instead of having all those ideas of I did it wrong. It shouldn't be this way. It's taking too long and then you never want to get back up.
So I help you with all of that. If you are. still just looking for another fad diet. I can tell you, this is not what I am. I am not a fad diet. It does not work. And so, like I said, you can find pieces of things that work, but it's not going to work. And so it doesn't solve for why, why you're overeating in the first place.
I keep it super simple for basics, water. Sleep, right? Nobody's going to disagree that we need water and sleep in our life. I say eat when you're hungry, right? Eat foods you love when you're hungry and stop eating when you've had enough. We [00:23:00] learn how to read our body, how to figure out when enough is, right?
How our body responds to things. The only thing slightly diety is to make a plan of what you're going to eat and that's what you offer yourself when you're hungry I'm not saying make a plan of foods that you think you'll lose weight on I'm saying make a plan of what you truly love to eat and then figure out how to eat that and lose weight We can do that.
We'll figure out is it a little less is it? Maybe you have it a little Uh, different on a rotation, or you have a smaller quantity of it, you have it with something else paired, or is it that you're simply just working out of over desire, and so you're over desiring it. So we work with your emotional stuff so that we can desire it appropriately, right?
So, keep questioning the diet, yourself, and your ability. You're going to keep questioning those fad diets [00:24:00] because it's not working for you. You're going to keep questioning yourself, your ability, because you're not getting the results you want. I help you get your results, and I help you do it in a way that empowers you, not a diet.
So yeah, you, I have, I'm a coach. So I walk along beside you, but you are the superstar. You are the superhero. I do not want you to keep playing small. And so every time you put all of your trust in another diet, in another program, a pill, whatever, it keeps you playing small. It keeps you playing, um, Incapable.
You're incapable of doing it. You can't figure it out. I just don't know. It's not in the cards for me. All those things. I want you to not play small ever again. You are the superhero. You hear me? Say this again and again. You are the superhero. I'm just your coach. And so, I mean, a coach has a great job too.
Like I get to see all of your strengths. I get to see all of the [00:25:00] things that you struggle with and help you overcome obstacles. But I'm your coach. You are the superhero. So. When you keep trying all the fad diets you keep looking for the magic pill You just don't get what you actually want. You keep looking for it and you don't get it So like I said with coaching you become empowered to figure this out you become empowered to try things and to Desire the life that you've always wanted and see how to create it.
You trust your decisions. You have confidence that you can do hard things, but yet not everything needs to be hard either. You learn to give yourself exactly what you are looking for whether it's food or maybe it's the next thing you're willing to try. You figure out how your body loves Whatever the care manual is, the best self care available and you figure out what you like, what your body likes, [00:26:00] and you give it to yourself.
You are taking the best care of you. So willingness and tenacity. That's what I give you no matter what. Willingness and tenacity. Keep going. Keep trying. We'll figure this out. Like I said, no timeline needed. There's no time standing still to figure it out. And there's also no deadline time's up. We have to warp speed to get there.
This is you becoming who you are, who you want to be and how you want to be. You get what you want. You get your weight loss, you get your dreams. So are you ready to lose weight? Becoming your own superhero. It's your time. I'm telling you, it's your time. This is the perfect time. If you have a little bit of hope, if you have a little bit of curiosity, I want you to meet with me.
So I have, um, on my website, coachingkara. com forward slash link tree, um, all together. I have [00:27:00] a way for you to be able to schedule an appointment with me. So it's just a quick. Uh, conversation less than 30 minutes, usually, and it helps you figure out if this is the next step for you. It helps you figure out maybe where we would exactly focus at.
And so by doing that, I'm, I talk to people all the time and I hear what they're saying as what they're trying. I usually hear what they're having problems with, even when they don't notice that that's the problem. And so that is exactly what we do on these calls. You can ask me any question you want. You get all your questions answered for sure.
And we kind of set up. What your next step would look like. Make sure that this kind of program fits into what your needs would be and make sure that it's realistic expectations on both sides. Make sure we're a great fit. So if that sounds like your next step, I would love to have conversation with you.
You are. You are worth the time you are worth the curiosity to figure out if [00:28:00] this is the thing to help you move into what you want. I cannot wait to talk to you. So coachingkara. com forward slash linktree. And I will see you next week. Make sure you're telling all your friends about this. I would love to get to help them too.
I'll talk to you later. Bye. Thank you for listening to the concierge weight loss podcast. Like what you heard today, leave a review or share with a friend and check out the next step quiz, where you'll find what has held you back from lasting weight loss and what to do next. You will find the link to this and many other helpful podcasts and videos in the show notes.
I can't wait to see you there.
