2023 - 3:1 FB Liveaudio podcast
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[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to the concierge weight loss podcast. My name is Kara Hackleman, and I'm a certified life and weight loss coach. I help people just like you lose weight for the last time. Are you a little people pleasing, a little procrastinating, and maybe a little perfectionistic? Do you eat when you are not even necessarily hungry?
I can help you overcome that so you can finish losing weight and get out of your own way. Join me each week to get a little motivation and a lot of inspiration. Here we go. Alright, let's get started. So, I am, uh, this is March, March is National Nutrition Awareness Month, and I am a weight loss coach, so that, like, fit perfect in with everything.
I, uh, was excited to bring this to you, so I guess I should start with telling you who I am. I am Kara Hackleman. I am a Certified Life and Weight Loss [00:01:00] Coach, and I am the owner of Concierge Weight Loss. I help people, uh, just like you, every single day, uh, lose weight, get the, uh, get the relationship with food that they want and lose the weight that they couldn't figure out how to do before.
Most of the people I work with are amazing, uh, in every other area of their life and just haven't quite figured out weight loss yet. So that is what I love. I love getting to help them figure out that. extra piece too that maybe they did not have before. So we're gonna get started here and uh, the first thing I want to say is that I wanted to talk today about this good food bad food thing.
I keep hearing people say, but what food should I eat? Like there's a better food than another, right? And so our diet culture, our diet mentality, I don't know if you've heard those words, [00:02:00] they're being thrown away around everywhere lately. And so the, the diet culture, the diet mentality of it all, they are, uh, saying that you should eat this.
You should not eat that. And it, and it goes on and on and on, right? There's, um, a whole list of rules with every single diet I've ever tried. I'm sure the same with you. Um, there's good foods, there's bad foods, and even some of the doctors are telling you good, bad, good, bad, good, bad. And they're doing it a little different than diets.
Like, I think both come from a place that they're trying to be helpful. Um, and What happens is our brain just kind of it's like this is hard and it's restrictive and it's depriving and I don't want to do It and so we we don't have enough buy in. That's what it boils down to we don't have enough buy in to want to do that and so [00:03:00] And there's some there's some other Other times that it is there's more buy in, you know, like, uh, you'll hear like a smoker who smoked for 50 years Finds out they have lung cancer and they don't pick up another cigarette their whole life, right?
That's some serious buy in, right? maybe um there's like been cases of diabetics and then they never eat sweets ever again, or there's somebody that has like massive heart issues and so they go completely low fat and whatever their doctor recommends and don't look back. So that's enough buy in in diet culture.
Like usually as someone's telling you, don't eat this or you only can have that. There's not enough buy in. There's, um, You haven't got to see behind the curtain yet. I always think of the Wizard of Oz, how they, they go to meet the wizard and they get to peek behind the curtain, right? In weight loss, I remember I used to say [00:04:00] if I could just spend 24 hours at my goal weight to know that it's worth it, I would do all the things.
And that is such a funny thing to say. I can't believe I just remembered that, but it's so funny because it doesn't have to be hard. Like we're totally making it hard and it doesn't have to, but like at the time I had thought this is so hard. And the only way that I could get myself to do, do it like all the way to the end was to get to see behind the curtain.
I wanted to see the wizard. I wanted to see what, what it was going to be so amazing, like how much better it was going to be and then I would be willing to do all the hard things, right? I don't, I don't teach it that way. I teach my clients to make it very doable, very easy, and we work on that together.
None of it has to be, like, that you have so much tenacity that you can stick with it till the end. You're going [00:05:00] to make mistakes and you're going to have all kinds of stuff that happens. And just going and not making any of it a problem is what keeps you going. So that's the stuff that I work with with my clients.
I love it. Um, we don't need to see behind the curtain. We just know that this is how we want to be and, and we do those things. So it's beautiful. Um, Some of the foods that have gotten villainized, that's like a, uh, a, a word that strikes home, right? I, I love Disney. And so, uh, the villain is always, you know, this misunderstood bad guy in all Disney films.
And so the villains of food are usually carbs and, um, fats, definitely sugars, right? Um, no food needs to be villainized. None. And so diets, they have a tendency to villainize foods for sure. So, knowing that [00:06:00] there's just no food. No food needs to be villain. Um, the other thing that diet, all of a sudden my whole head just got super stuffy.
Sorry. I live in Indiana and it is hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold here. And my sinuses are just swelling every day. And it's, I feel like I might even have told you that before. So, um, let's see here. The other thing I wanted to say about diet culture, diet mentality, right? They talk to you about those being like villainized foods, right?
Like that there are the bad guys. There there's good foods and there's bad foods. And if you're going to like, they've even started to recognize people do not stay on diets. They do not keep it going forever. So now they're like, well, how, how often could we let you cheat? Isn't that a great word? Cheat. You think about cheating on a test, or cheating on a spouse, or cheating.
It's never a good thing. Not even just a little bit, you know? Like, I'm just a little bit of a cheater. My husband doesn't care. I [00:07:00] just cheat a little bit. It's okay. Six out of the seven days, I'm faithful. That doesn't work in a marriage. It doesn't work in your diet. Like, it doesn't work in what you're choosing to eat.
So, if you're not going to stick it in your marriage, a cheat day, then don't stick it in, in your eating plan. But yet diet culture comes up with cheat days and cheat meals, cheat foods, that kind of thing. And then they decide how often you can have that. What if you just decide? You get to decide, right? So it creates a stigma in your brain that foods are good or bad, and you are good or bad if you follow or don't follow it, right?
So if you're eating good foods, the diet culture, good foods, right? And you're doing it all the time, you're good. You're morally good because you're able to do good things. You're able to eat the good food. You're able to keep doing the good things, right? And the opposite of that is if you don't eat those foods, now you're bad.
You are bad. You are, you're out [00:08:00] of control. You have no self esteem. You have no confidence. You have no ability to be motivated and do what's good for you. That feels beautiful. I, I, that, I don't even like saying that as a joke. It's terrible. So. Good food, bad food, we're taking that out. There's no bad foods.
None, none, none. Food does not have a morality. You are not good or bad ever based on what you're eating. You get no extra bonus points when you get to heaven or whatever you believe for eating certain things, and you don't get any taken away from you if you had dessert. So it's, it's different. So I, I told you, uh, how I work with my clients, right?
We definitely stopped villainizing foods. So bad foods is just simply out of our category. Like that's not even an option. We teach good, better, best. And the only reason for that is so that you can kind of figure out like [00:09:00] how to categorize things based on what you. So, um, I'm going to go deeper on Friday in the membership, um, on our group call.
So, every week I, uh, meet individually one on one with my clients and then, um, we talk about whatever they need to. And if they don't have something that particular week, there's always something I'm working on with them. Um, and then we come together in a group setting once a week so that we can talk about something.
specific topic and they can get extra help in that group session too. So it's kind of nice, the accountability and all of that. So, um, there's plenty of time if you want to sign up and start working with me before Friday, we can, we can be in on that call too with you. But, um, good, better, best is something that I teach my clients and it's simply a method of categorizing foods that, uh, that helps my clients have a healthy relationship with all foods.
So, the only bad foods are [00:10:00] going to be foods you don't like. Simple. The only bad food is a food that you don't like. And, um, sometimes I'll even throw into it, like, how your body responds. And I'll talk a little bit about that later. Alright. So, the first thing, trying to figure out the good better best or good versus bad or simply, what am I going to eat?
Right? Which is what it all boils down to. We've set our intention. I want to lose weight. And now what am I supposed to eat? That is, I begged when I was losing weight, my coach to tell me just what to eat. And she's like, well, what do you want to eat? And I did not trust myself to make that decision. I did not trust that I could make a decision to eat something.
and lose weight. So I thought it had to be a better choice of food. I didn't realize it was how I was eating things. So, um, I worked with my coach. I teach clients, uh, my clients as their coach, eat what you enjoy. What do you like to eat? So when you're trying to figure out what [00:11:00] you're going to eat, what do you like to eat?
Let's start there. What do you even enjoy? We're not going to ever eat anything again that you don't like. I'm totally getting ready to sneeze.
Sorry, I'm sure that ricocheted loudly through the microphone. So, this is how you start. What do you like to eat? What do you want to eat? What do you like to eat? Ask yourself every single time, What do you want? And make sure that you like it. I know it sounds simple, right? You're going to look at your hunger.
Am I even hungry? So, when we've made our plan, we've got put all these foods that we actually like on the plan, and then we decide to eat them if we're hungry. And so this is another thing that I teach in the, in the membership. And so the basis of it is this is how you know when to eat and when to stop eating.
And so I teach my clients [00:12:00] this way more in depth, but you eat when you're hungry and you don't when you're not. So if you're no longer hungry, you started hungry and you ate and then you're no longer hungry. If you get an urge or a craving and you're like, I, I am actually not physically hungry, then you don't eat.
We realize it's an urge. We're going to have those forever and ever and ever. And sometimes we make mistakes and we figure it out, make some, uh, uh, adjustments and we do different next time. So this may be such a simple concept, but one of the most overthought things to put into practice. I, I teach my clients how to know for sure if they're hungry or not.
And as silly as that sounds, it, It's probably one of the, the best things like in my own personal weight loss journey. I, I basically have two rules that I follow a doable hunger. Like I eat when I'm hungry [00:13:00] and I stop or don't eat if I'm not. And the other thing is I listen to my body. So, um, when you're choosing foods, and maybe I, I should have talked about this before, but when you're choosing foods, like, remember, there's like a basic nutrition knowledge that everyone has, right?
We know that, uh, the food pyramid was taught when we were in school. I don't know if they're still pushing that in the schools or not, but like, the government's still pushing it. still holds it as a standard of some type of, uh, food pyramid. So we know that like there's different categories of foods. We have that basic knowledge.
All of us do. Um, the basics of it is if it came from something that was alive or it grew in the ground, it's probably got more nutrients to it. It's got some health value to it. Um, all foods have some health value. They all have some type of caloric intake that gives us energy. So all foods have [00:14:00] some type of value, which is why we call everything good on some level.
Some foods have more nutrient dense. density to them, right? So, um, those foods are going to have more vitamins and minerals, different types of nutrients that your body really needs. So, what I'm saying is you can choose your foods. I like all these foods. I'm going to have them. Maybe your digestion is off, so you're choosing to have some vegetables, some roughage to help with, right?
the go of the digestion, right? Maybe you are a person that has high cholesterol, and so you're trying to make sure that you're eating some, um, very specific types of fiber that help your body, uh, get rid of cholesterol. Maybe you're, skin is dry. So you put an avocado or some type of healthy fat to give yourself some [00:15:00] moisture.
Whatever it is, there's some basic nutrition knowledge and that will help you with, um, you being able to make some choices. But the bottom line of it is, is that your choices are 100 percent still based on what you like. So, um, my personal choice is that if it's a processed food, I try to just limit some of it.
And, um, if it's a meat, a vegetable, a fruit, a whole grain, I lean towards those because I find it very easy to pick the processed stuff, to pick the sugars and, you know, the sweet salty snacks, all that kind of stuff. It's easier for me to decide those that I want to have. So when I'm using my brain power to figure out what to eat, I'm usually looking at how can I add vegetables in here.
And I'm not saying it's because I'm trying to be good, [00:16:00] but I'm 44 years old, uh, today. So like on this particular day of the year, I'm 44. And, uh, no, I'm not. How old am I? Yes, I am. I'm 44. I have no idea how I am. Um, And like I just am in a place I want to take care of my body. I want to take care of my skin and my joints and my organs.
And so I put a little bit more thought into what nutrients I'm giving my body and just trying to like set up my meal planning so that it really has more of a variety of things. So I am, I'm personally limiting a little bit more of the processed foods and I'm tending to plan more of the fruits, vegetables, whole grains, the meat kind of stuff, right?
So a basic knowledge of nutrition is is enough at this point, and we will continue to learn as we are experiencing different things. And so if I had something [00:17:00] going on in my body, I would probably be able to go to that beautiful Google and figure out ten hundred things that I could possibly do, um, a specific food that's rich in whatever.
And so you'll, you'll, you'll figure that part out as you go. You get to decide what So, how do I know what to eat? I'm eating what I like. I'm eating it when I'm hungry. I am, I am using my basic knowledge of nutrition to help me choose what I'm having. The next part that I really strongly believe is that you need to listen to your body.
Your body is going to tell you. So I kind of alluded to, if you have dry skin, You're maybe going to look for something that helps with dry skin, right? So healthy fats or some, uh, up your water intake, whatever it is, right? You're listening to your body. Mine, I talk all the time. You guys have heard about my [00:18:00] digestion more than anybody else needs to, but I do not do well with a lot of dairy.
And so when I'm choosing what I'm having, I know it's a day that I have plenty going on and I do not want to spend any extra time in the restroom if you know what I mean. So I'm simply not including very much dairy in my, in my day. Some days I want ice cream and I decide if it's a day that I want to put it in there.
So I'm listening to my body as I'm making those decisions. Listening is a skill that I did not start with. Everyone starts with it when we were children. We're very reactive to what our body is telling us then and we stop listening to it and we start eating all the things. That's where people start with me in weight loss.
They know that they feel miserable and at this point they no longer know how to fix it. So we start dialing in. [00:19:00] Dialing into listening to your body to know when you're hungry or not. Listening for what your body likes or doesn't like. Like I love my tongue, my brain, I love ice cream, love it. My digestive system does not love it.
So listening to my body, I am hearing that it does not love it very often, right? Um, I love Mexican food. Typically it's higher in sodium and I am very prone to bloating. And so my hands are, uh, very reactive to that kind of thing. So when I am choosing foods, I'm probably not gonna like do some pizza on top of some ice cream on top of some Mexican food on top of like something else real salty, right?
I'm going to be choosing based on how my body responds, how it reacts. Uh, it responds with what it likes and what it needs. It responds with what it doesn't. And my job is just to listen and make. [00:20:00] opportunities for it. So, um, when, when I was coming up with this to talk to you about it, all I could think about was a little, a little one, you know, in a high chair and mom's trying to offer things to this baby and they're batting it away.
And then sometimes they take it and then they bat stuff away. So that's what your body's doing. It's like, Do you want this? It's like that was not the thing to help with this issue, or this was the thing, and I like that, or whatever it is. And so you're just creating, trying, trying, trying opportunities to see what your body wants or what it needs.
The other thing too is sometimes it's not a direct correlation. Our bodies do tend to throw signals that maybe are not completely related. So learning what it's, I'll use the kid analogy again. Sometimes kids use the wrong word, but they use it consistently. And so moms [00:21:00] will know that like when they say this, this is actually what they want.
As you know that you learn what your body's actually saying. You're speaking its language, correct? So maybe you are craving some super salty things, but your body is actually trying to tell you it's dehydrated. Like that one's a perfect example. And so giving it more salt, what's going to happen? It's going to make you thirstier.
So it's sending up cravings for salt when really what it needs is water. And so sometimes your body's hungry and you've, this happens a lot with, with dieting. Your body is hungry. You are thinking you need to restrict and deprive like crazy. So your body starts thinking, throwing up urges and cravings that it wants sugar now because it wants quick fast energy and it thinks that you're not giving it anything.
It thinks that you're trying to starve it or [00:22:00] whatever so it makes the signals louder and louder and louder and so as you're learning to speak its language some of it too is reassuring it so like when your child your baby was having a fit and you're like Dinner's coming, honey. Like, I'm, it's almost there.
Like, take, here's your, here's your cup of water. Like, let's calm down. It's almost time. And so, like, you're doing that with your body too. It's learning. And the more that you address that you're hearing it, like, I, I talk like your body is disconnected from your brain, but in some ways it kind of is. So like, as you're addressing like, I am 100 percent feeling this, like I know, but I also know that this was the choice I made, and so for now I want to see if this is enough.
Your brain will be like, Okay, so she is paying attention. She knows I want to be fed and then like your body's saying those kind of things and your brain's like, yeah, yeah, I got you. I got you. And so it's all good. So just keep listening [00:23:00] is the whole point. Listening and trying so that you know what your body's language is and so that you know, um, what, signals your body likes to send for when it needs something.
That listening thing, right? We get so responsive that we forget sometimes that there's a listening component to it. So when we are stopping that hand to mouth habit, and we stop and listen to what the body's actually saying makes a huge, huge difference. So as you are doing this, you're going to start becoming so empowered.
I'm just telling you, it is empowering to know what your body needs and wants. When I started, um, losing weight before I had started, I had, and I still have autoimmune condition, but I had doctors telling me to eat this, don't eat that. And they're at the doctor, right? So I had doctors tell me, no, no, [00:24:00] you're allergic to this.
Don't eat that. So then, um, I have all of this stuff that I'm supposed to eat or not supposed to eat. And sometimes it was conflicting. And I just got to where I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and not have any of it. So as I started listening to my body, like I'm not, And none of this is like anaphylactic.
So like, I'm not killing myself if I had ice cream, right? And so like, I just start paying attention to what my body's telling me and I start trusting that I can listen to it. I can provide what it needs and doesn't need. I can go search the Google. I can go talk to a doctor when I have questions or I'm unsure.
But I am 100 percent empowered in this process that I can come up with the answers and I can give it what it needs. If I know that I just don't like a certain food, I don't feel bad for not eating it. I also know that I am not depriving myself of [00:25:00] ice cream when i'm choosing to not spend the day in the bathroom.
I am empowered. The choice was always mine and I have always been in charge. And so I am no longer putting that on somebody else or that the fate of the world is unfair. I get to decide those things. So um Yeah, you will learn to trust your body, learn to trust yourself in those decision makings, and that whole thing completely empowers you.
This one's fun. I love getting to talk about this with you. Um, so, I just remember when I started losing weight, how, how I, I felt so broken. I felt so broken that I said my picker was broken. I couldn't choose foods. I just, I, I didn't know what to have and I didn't want to mess up and I didn't want to, you know, do the, do something wrong or have it so that I gained even more weight.
So, um, [00:26:00] learning to trust myself, learning to trust my body, and being empowered with all of that, realizing I am in charge, they're my choices, whatever I'm choosing, it was amazing for me, and I, I love when I get to pass that on to my clients and get to see them take that place of empowerment in their lives and in what their foods are going to be, what they're choosing.
So in summary, let's start there. Let's wrap up. Um, all foods are good. There are no bad foods. And if we had to claim something was bad, the only bad foods are the ones that you don't like or that your body does not respond well to. The only bad foods are the ones you don't like or that your body does not respond well to.
Everything else is at least a good food. And for you to decide what's better or even a best food, that's based on your categorizing skills. [00:27:00] What is it that you're trying to do? That's exactly the stuff that I work with my clients on. So, I want to just tell you, I am live each week. I come in live each week.
I don't know if I ever come in sometime. Maybe I'm not available if I would. I'd probably still post something for you to watch. Yeah, definitely, for sure, because I love having something fresh for you every single week. So I usually always schedule them Wednesdays, 9 a. m. Eastern Standard Time. We kind of do them quick.
Sometimes they're 15 minutes, sometimes they're 30. Um, and then I post a, um, I post a podcast and a blog every week, so if you like video, watch the blog. If you like something in your ear so that you can keep going about your day, check out the podcast. So the Concierge Weight Loss podcast, and it's on, oh heavens, it's on Google and it's on Spotify, Apple, whatever you like.
And so if you just download that, it will come to you, [00:28:00] um, just ready, waiting, ready and waiting whenever you're ready to listen. So, um, I hear clients. routinely tell me they just want a normal relationship with food. Normal. I help them find what normal looks like. Uh, they just, they don't know what normal looks like.
They know that they, that what they have going on is not what they want. It's not working for them. They don't feel good and they just want to feel normal. And so I help, I help with that. So to find what your own personal. Normal would look like start with my free quiz. It's uh called the next step quiz and you can find it at www.
coachingkara. com Forward slash next step quiz. It will help you find what? It'll help you find what might be what you need to change in your relationship with it [00:29:00] Thank you for listening to the concierge weight loss podcast. Like what you heard today, leave a review or share with a friend and check out the next step quiz, where you'll find what has held you back from lasting weight loss and what to do next.
You will find the link to this and many other helpful podcasts and videos in the show notes. I can't wait to see you there.
