2023 - 2:1 FB Live
===
[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to the concierge weight loss podcast. My name is Kara Hackleman, and I'm a certified life and weight loss coach. I help people just like you lose weight for the last time. Are you a little people pleasing, a little procrastinating, and maybe a little perfectionistic? Do you eat when you are not even necessarily hungry?
I can help you overcome that so you can finish losing weight and get out of your own way. Join me each week to get a little motivation and a lot of inspiration. I am Kara Hackleman. I am, um, the owner and certified life and weight loss coach for concierge weight loss. I am wanting to talk to you today about habits.
So as pretty much everyone knows January, we're hitting hard New Year's resolutions. That's what the world thinks we need, right? For January one, we're all about the New Year's resolutions, and [00:01:00] then we watch them fizzle out as, uh, the weeks pass by. Usually they say by about week three, uh, most of the resolutions are gone.
So they've completely fizzled. I think that resolutions are kind of a nice marking in time to get you to think about what it is that your intention is, like what you desire. Some people honestly don't even think about what they want. They just are so day to day, heave your head down and keep going. Right.
So to like, give it a moment to think like things could be different and like, yeah, nothing's really wrong with where they're at, but like. if you wanted something different, you can create that. So like, if nothing else, resolutions are kind of a nice way to bring up that. What do I want? Like, what's my desire?
What is it? And like, why? Like, and even dream a little. Those are, those are just great for that. [00:02:00] However, the how to part, the stick with it part, the against all obstacles part, A resolution doesn't prepare you for that. It gives you that one moment in time to say what you really want, but then it doesn't really tell you how to do it after that.
So, habits are the thing I want to talk about this month. Um, I really, really would love for you to do a 21 day reset. And I was looking to see what the You know how things change all the time. So I'm looking to see what, uh, they're saying now about how long it takes to create a habit. And some said 21 days, some said 30 days or 28 days.
It was all over the board. One said like three months. And so I love February is like a shorter little month, you know, we don't quite have as many days as we do some of the other months. And so I think that it being about Valentine's and. Self love [00:03:00] include yourself in that a 21 day reset for your habits.
Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. I love it. So that's what we're gonna talk about this month. Little things different each week. So make sure you're jumping in every single week to see what it is. I'm bringing for you, but the habits. are the part that make the long term actions, okay? Not resolutions. So, as I, um, talk about some of this, keep that in mind.
Like, last month, you probably, along with the rest of the world, decided what you want, and if you haven't, it, you know, take five minutes and figure that out. But, The rest of this month is going to be a reset of habits. So it's gonna be super important to realize that that is the thing that has probably held you back before.
When you talk about your past attempts with weight loss, you had a really strong desire to And then that really [00:04:00] strong desire even got you excited as you've tried different diets. Um, myself, my clients, I hear again and again, like I was resolute to do it for however long and then they stopped their diet.
So with habits, You're creating habits. They may Have a successful day and they may not but the thing about a habit is you just keep doing it Anyway, so 21 day habit reset figure out which habits you're wanting to create so that your new year's resolution your Goal of whatever it was you set can happen.
All right, I work specifically with people with this and Um, if you are having a hard time do not You Give yourself a hard time about not being able to figure out what you even want. I have so many clients that tell me, I don't even know what I want. What am I supposed to want? And then they go back to, especially when we talk about weight loss, they'll go back to the old BMI scale and tell me, this is [00:05:00] what I supposed to weigh.
And I'm like, who said so? Why do you think that's what it is? And usually they'll tell me they want to weigh that because They want to have a normal weight, but the thing is that BMI scale, it, the chart is really going out the window. It wasn't designed for that. So pick something, you can pick a number.
And if, if you're not really sure where you want to be, 10 percent is a great place to start 10 percent of your weight. And then just keep figuring out where you want to go next. You don't have to have the end number. I'll tell you, I don't even have my end number. I have an idea that I would like to weigh a certain number.
Okay. And you know, sometimes the thinking of like, well, what would it be like if I weighed this? And so I don't know if it feels unattainable because I've, I honestly think it's been like since I was a teenager since I weighed that if it feels unattainable for that or I really think that And I'll just tell you the numbers.
So, like, I would like to weigh 160. I'm not there. [00:06:00] And, um, I have created a plan for myself to, um, to, to lose that weight this year. And so in, you know, about a pound, a pound a week is what I'm going for. So, um, I have about 30 pounds I want to lose still. And um, I look at the number 140 and I get really curious about it.
But as I look at that number, I start thinking like, um, when I was about 10 pounds lighter than I am now, my face started to get really thin and I don't know that I necessarily liked that. And so what made me think I still wanted to lose quite a bit more was because of the way my joints felt and the way that my skin felt.
stomach wasn't settled. But I also know that maybe if I get 160 that I could eat foods that are going to keep my stomach from being upset. So there's like a combination. So it's kind of [00:07:00] beautiful. All the things that I've tried. And I thought they were not successful. They gave me really great information and I have this, um, bandage on my lips.
So if I don't know if you can see that or not, I had a little spot taken off my lip at the dermatologist earlier this week. So I'm trying to keep it covered up and keep makeup out of it. But, um, it's, I feel like I'm trying to not chew on this little, uh, Sticker band aid. So, sorry, sorry. Back to focus. So, I, I don't know how I would feel if I were to get at 140.
And so, I don't even honestly know how I would feel if I got to 160. I would like to have 160 as my goal. That is what I'm focusing on. And not just that the number's there, but all the things that I need to accomplish. So, as I'm telling you guys about habits, like I'm doing this. And I, I'm working with clients who are doing this.
And, like I said, many of my clients don't have an idea of what they would even [00:08:00] want. They don't know what their future could look like or what they would want it to possibly look like. They have focused on what they can't do for so long that they're almost afraid to even try to pick something that, uh, they haven't done before.
And so, it is so much fun to pick something you've never done before because then you get to figure out how to do it, um, and it's just kind of a, a boost. You get a boost in like, what am I capable of? And sometimes it's fun for me just to do things I've never done just to see if it's possible. See what it, and really I, it's funny I said that because I don't even believe that.
I think I'm really capable of almost anything, but what is it going to take to do that? That's where the challenge is for me. So all that's a little off track. It goes along with it, but it's a little off track for what I wanted to talk about today. So habits are going to be a repetition, not a perfection [00:09:00] thing.
So we've kind of alluded to that as I've been talking. Habits are definitely created. And so you either developed a habit because someone else as a child had you doing it, or you developed a habit because you chose it and you practiced it again and again and again. And so, um, that is, uh, uh, habits. Habits are not always perfect, and if you're aiming for perfection, you're probably focusing on the wrong thing.
Um, so, um, that the habit is teaching you something and it's supporting the end goal. And so, if you're trying to do everything perfectly, then think of it as if you had chicken ricin Uh, broccoli every single day, and that would be the habit you had. And so that would be the only way I could see that maybe you would 100 percent never have to make a decision about anything that wouldn't get [00:10:00] you exactly what you wanted.
You could pick something super boring, something that has absolutely nothing for you to make a decision about, and then with that, then, you know, You, you might not fail, right? I don't want that. I love variety. I love, um, different foods. I love figuring it all out. And that is, uh, my favorite part. Oh, I'm not really great at looking at this comments thing.
So let me look and see what that says.
Um, I don't know how to get to comments. I see that there's two comments and I really am not sure how to, how to do that. Let me see here. So as I'm figuring that out, let's keep going. So, um, the big thing, as I'm telling you, you're not going to do this perfectly. You're, and I'm telling you, you're not going to do it perfect.
So what I, I would suggest is that as you're doing that, be patient with [00:11:00] yourself. And so that's part of why I'm like, I love doing this in the month of February because as you're doing all the love for everybody else, as you're feeling that, all that, maybe give yourself just a little bit too. Oh, I, I found it.
So Manisha and Kimberly. Oh, Kim, my girl. Hello. Hello. So yeah. So get your habits going. Give yourself lots of grace. And Kim, I hope you don't mind, I'll just, I'll just say this on here. You are rocking things. So Kim is, uh, an old friend of mine and she was one of my accountability girls, uh, that we were doing weight loss together.
She has reignited herself, put herself on fire. And so I keep seeing her posts. And they're messy sometimes. I love it. And so instead of quitting, which she's kind of done that, I don't think she'd mind you be telling, she sometimes would quit things when it got hard or it just felt too imposing. So now she has, she's going to a group [00:12:00] that we both belong to and letting it all out there, getting some feedback.
She's got another accountability group. So she's doing some amazing things for herself. Um, and. I hope, I think she is, that she's practicing some patience with herself. Some absolute love, some compassion, right? All of those, those things that we do not jump to instantly. We do that with our friends. We give compassion to our friends and lots of love, and we tell them all the nice things, and then when it comes to ourself, we do not.
We do not. We, we are critical and judgmental and all the things. So, as you're creating these habits, just take a breath. Take a breath and be like, what would I tell my best friend if this is what was going on? Um, let's see. I said that. I have a note because I send a squirrel off sometimes. Um, okay, plan it.
So this one's fun [00:13:00] because as I coach people I keep hearing again and again they do not like to plan and it locks them into something and then they already think again like I can't do this. And it's going to be too hard. It, uh, I don't want to write a plan. I'm just gonna, that's not the way I do things, right?
Oh, Kim says no judging yourself. Rock on, girl. Um, so when you plan it, it keeps you accountable to yourself. When you're not planning, it's easy to be like, well, my intention changed. Where if you plan it, And then something changed. It's not about whether or not you were capable of doing something. It makes you stop and think.
So like, I said I was going to do this. Why didn't I? What was it that came up that I didn't do it? And then you can go from there. So it's more of an assessment than a judgment. There's not criticism in it. So write it down and make a plan. So with these habits, like you'll hear again and again, like write your plan, what you're going to eat for the day, all that kind of thing.
Maybe [00:14:00] that's That's the plan or the habit you're practicing this month, but whatever it is, so, um, I say there's really not a diet to this. If you are looking for the diet, it's the same things everybody's saying. Get your water in, prioritize your sleep. So, um, as you're eating for hunger, that doesn't mean that you're eating the broccoli, chicken, rice.
It means that you're eating foods you love, but you're eating them when you're hungry, and you're stopping when you're no longer hungry. So, that is the diet, if that's what you want to call it. But, whatever is the diet, Preventing you from doing those three things. That's going to be the habits that you're going to really want to instill.
And so, to make sure that those things get done. Those are simple. Those are the things that get you to your weight loss goal. Anything else is what prevents that. That's all the stuff I work with people for. And so, plan out. If you know that you're not a person who gets to bed and gives [00:15:00] yourself seven hours of sleep.
A minimum of seven hours sleep. I'm really an eight and a half hour sleep girl. But if you are realizing that about yourself, what can you do? What habits can you create? Whatever it is. If you want to be a journaler or a planner, maybe your food or your food journal is next to your bed or it's next to the chair that you like to sit in when you sit down.
Um, I plan, eat, eat. I want when I'm hungry. You're down 12 pounds. Awesome. I wasn't sure what eat, eat meant. So, um, let's see. So like pair your habits with something you're already doing. Plan when you're going to do those habits. And so as you plan that. You're not only like setting an intention, like, like your New Year's resolution, it was setting an intention, right?
But with a habit, what's different is you go a step two, three, four past that and you figure out how exactly to make that happen. So what can you do to make it easier? What can [00:16:00] you do to make sure that like it would almost be ridiculous not to do it? And so that may mean that you're keeping your habits from changing really short, really simple.
You're not making them complex or hard to achieve. It might be that you're pairing it with something else. It might be that you are actually scheduling time. So when I started all of this, I felt like I was sleeping like back in like 2019 when I first started losing weight this last time I was sleeping all the time throughout the day, but I wasn't sleeping so much at nighttime.
And so one of the first things I did was on my calendar. I keep all of my calendar on my cell phone. And so I just time blocked and hit repeat so that I had an eight hour block of time. every single night, and I started really protecting that. So we talked a little last week about protecting your time and your self care.
So I would time block [00:17:00] sleep, and so this became my habit. And then I even set a timer in the beginning for an hour ahead of time so that I knew when that hour hit, I was to wind down what I was doing to be able to get me to bed on time. Now I have that time block and occasionally, like if something's really early in the morning, I will move the time block so that I go to bed earlier the night before.
But it's funny, it's just this block of time and it just gets moved, but it doesn't get deleted. I am important enough to need sleep and that was a habit that I developed. So the time block helped me, the um, scheduling the hour alarm on it to kind of wind me down, that all was super beneficial for me. So whatever habit you're deciding you want to practice.
My current habit that I'm practicing is stopping before enough. at or before. And so, um, to share with you, what I've been doing is I think I have gotten really good at practicing maintenance and claiming that [00:18:00] I'm still trying to lose weight. So I've become aware of this recently and I know everybody's kind of got their things.
So I, I am trying to get to where I am completely able to stop at enough and for sure know, so for me to for sure know that I have I am willing to stop before enough. So, what that might look like for me, I'm anticipating ahead of time, it might look like that I'm still hungry in an hour. So, in an hour, I might get to where I'm like, Mmm, I think I'm a little bit hungrier.
I should probably eat a little bit more. I didn't probably eat too enough. Whenever I had had my last meal and I'm okay with doing that because I know I can always have more food I know that that's gonna be a habit eating to enough for sure eating to enough will set me up for whatever my next set of goals won't be like the next bit of weight that I want to lose and [00:19:00] so I am willing to even mess that up to eat too little so that I can figure out what that feels like, how much food that was, and it gives me some play room, then I can eat in an hour if I'm hungry.
Um, there's nothing saying I can't have more. I just want to feel what it is like to eat at just enough. And I think because I was no longer eating to full. I was no longer eating too uncomfortable. I was no longer binging. It became one of those that it was, um, easy for me to say, well, I'm not doing any of those things.
I'm, I'm not overeating, but I was, and the weight stopped coming off. And so I'm going to put the gas pedal down a little bit harder in these next few months. And my, my habit that I'm really practicing all month is to stop at enough or before without any doubt. So, my mentor years ago said, if I said, uh, if you for sure were, uh, [00:20:00] not overeating, how did she say that?
She said, can you bet me, that's what she said, can you bet me 10, 000 that you 100 percent did not overeat? And the person who she coaching at the moment who had sworn they for sure had not overeaten. Now they're like, well, maybe I did. I don't want to pay 10, 000. So I want to get to a point where I am for sure not overeating.
So that's my habit for this month. I absolutely love this job. I get to help people figure out the things they've always wanted. Sometimes they come thinking that it's going to be weight loss, and then they realize that they're not. Weight loss was only there because of some of the habits that they developed along the way.
And when they no longer do those habits, whether it's emotional eating or, um, not cooking themselves, not like self love enough to cook themselves some delicious food. And so they're just grabbing pizzas. I did that a lot in the beginning. We, I don't know if I've told you, but we used to have pizza probably two or three times a week and not that anything's wrong with but [00:21:00] it was as a result of me not caring enough.
And I did not have the energy because I did not sleep. I was not, I didn't have enough self care in so many areas and I was just exhausted. And so we just ate. And so, um, there's, I, I totally squirreled off on that. But like working in coaching and being a coach, I get to help people figure. That's where I was at.
I get to help people figure out. What it is they really want I get to help them figure out what is a problem and why they even have a problem It's my favorite job in the world to help people with this and just get them to see another side of it we take Whatever people say whatever we think as the truth and then after that we don't We don't question it anymore.
So with being able to just be like, well, is that really how it is? Or like, what, what about that? That is what coaching is. And so helping [00:22:00] someone figure that out and then they gain confidence that they can figure out anything. I can tell you when I started this in 2019, like there is no way I would be willing to eat.
too little just to be able to figure out what that felt like in my body. And so now I am willing to do so many different things. I'm willing to try and I'm willing to figure it out. And that's what I want for you. If that sounds great to you, I would love for you to take the next step quiz. That next step quiz, right?
The next step quiz is going to help you figure out what some of those areas that have held you back in your weight loss are. Where are you sabotaging yourself at? Even if you don't realize that's what's doing it. We'll figure out how to implement those steps together. We can jump on a call after you do your quiz.
You have a great week and I will see you next week. Bye. Thank you for listening to the concierge weight loss podcast. Like what you heard today, leave a review or share with a friend and check out the next step [00:23:00] quiz where you'll find what has held you back from lasting weight loss and what to do next.
You will find the link to this and many other helpful podcasts and videos in the show notes. I can't wait to see you there.
