2023 - 1:23 FB Live Self Care Audio
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[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to the concierge weight loss podcast. My name is Kara Hackleman, and I'm a certified life and weight loss coach. I help people just like you lose weight for the last time. Are you a little people pleasing, a little procrastinating, and maybe a little perfectionistic? Do you eat when you are not even necessarily hungry?
I can help you overcome that so you can finish losing weight and get out of your own way. Join me each week to get a little motivation and a lot of inspiration. Last thing. All right. I've got it all on. Here we go. I think, yes, it's all working just great. Um, in all my beauty today, I, uh, Got back in the groove of things, getting to CrossFit.
Worked a person in that I didn't get to see while I was on vacation, and so got that appointment done this morning, and so [00:01:00] you get me in all my gym attire, and that is okay. Today, I want to start, because like I had some really great awareness. And I, uh, I have a friend that she and I are, um, kind of partners, are accountability partners for weight loss.
And so, we were talking about, um, how she said that, like, she's going to, um, a therapist. And she was saying that, like, how much awareness, how much self awareness, Yeah, she's getting with that and how great that is for her. That's what she's looking for. And so, um, I was thinking about this cruise that I was on.
So I was on the cruise and I I was very aware. I'm going to start off by telling you I came back about five pounds, five and a half pounds more than when I left. And in the past, I know that when I travel, I gain weight. And a lot of times I just never [00:02:00] even weigh for a week after. Um, there's more sugar, more salt, more alcohol, more bloat of all kinds.
And so typically I just wait a week and then I weigh because it was It was kind of triggering for me in the past. And so now I don't feel that way anymore. Like they're just numbers and, um, well, I mean, I care. I just don't, it doesn't trigger me to, um, want to eat more or to not do anything. It, If anything, it's, I now know what my body feels good and I want more of that.
And so, if anything, it triggers me to want to like take great care of myself. Not out of a place of, um, beat down or, you know, like deprecating or like any of that kind of thing. But more just like I want to take such great care of myself. And so, um, I want to share that with you because I [00:03:00] want you to know it's completely normal to have fluctuations in your weight.
Completely normal. I, we were on the cruise and We had an alcohol package given to us as part of our, our cruise. And so we don't normally drink like that. And so we had more drinks than normal. Um, I do not have sugar every single day and it was available every day. And so, um, salt. way saltier, more rich foods.
The other thing I was very aware of is in my normal day to day, my food choices, they're, um, they, they kind of are lighter. So like, um, definitely in quantity lighter, but like, um, I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables. I have a lot of soups and salads and I eat a lot of that kind of thing. In my normal day to day, I typically have kind of a light breakfast, kind of a light lunch, and then I have a bigger dinner.
And that's not saying [00:04:00] that's a diet, or that's a certain way that you should follow to eat. It's just what has worked for me, and it's what's worked for our family and how we eat. And so that being said, Um, um, on the cruise, there's food all the time offered. And so what I noticed was the first couple days, everything was new and shiny.
Everything was like, oh, I want more, I want to try that I want to try. And so I was wanting to try all the things. and so I had more food. richer food than I probably will definitely more than I normally have. And so on a, a day to day at home basis, I was on vacation and I chose to have food be part of the excitement of the vacation.
I was very aware that it was my choice. Um, I was aware [00:05:00] that when I was getting ready to hit enough, I was, um, I was aware that I had probably hit enough and that I was choosing to have a couple bites of my, um, dessert. Um, and then what happened, probably after the first couple days, I realized I didn't really care about the food as much.
And so I started, noticing I was going into what my routine choices would have looked like. And like, I went back to like, well, my body doesn't do really great with dairy, so I'm not going to have very much dairy. Um, my body does better without so much sugar. So I was limiting it more to like a couple bites of sugar.
So like, it was so amazing how much awareness I had. And, um, I'm always looking for, like, I'm still losing weight myself. I still have weight I want to lose and, um, [00:06:00] trying to make it so that whatever I'm experiencing, be very transparent with you so that when you're listening to me, that you see that, like.
It's normal for your weight to go up and down. Even when you get to goal, it's going to go up and down. That's why we talk about having like, you know, maybe even a 10 pound range that you're okay with going, um, around. Um, But the biggest part was that awareness, like I was so aware of how my body was feeling throughout this, how I was feeling, what I was wanting, and at all times I felt like I was in control, I knew I could choose.
to have foods that looked more like what I eat when I'm at home. I also knew when I was choosing not to, that that was my choice. And so I felt very in charge. We've talked about that before, like you go from feeling out of [00:07:00] control to figuring out how to be in control and now I'm in charge. So I'm in charge of what I'm eating and how much I'm eating and how that looks.
Um, when I'm choosing different things. And so I, I definitely wanted to share that awareness and five and a half pounds after vacation this week, I definitely want to get, um, that bloat and like my stomach is just distended from it. And I worked out on the ship. I went to some classes. I went and lifted weights.
I enjoyed myself. I did a ton of walking. I absolutely had a blast. And, um, I knew that Monday morning I was starting my week this morning at CrossFit. And I just thought, well, the live is going to look, however the live looks. And so this is, this is after workout and getting back into what feels good in my day to day.
And it's [00:08:00] not like I shouldn't have done my vacation a certain way, or I should have done it a different way. It is exactly what I chose and how I chose to do it. And for me in the moment, weight loss was in my mind, but not. Like actively being pursued on vacation, but I also didn't want to like make myself sick or hurt or Uncomfortable and I did a little of that I think I think the the sugary alcohol drinks might have been more than what I was realizing and so So I am, I'm inflamed and my stomach is distended, I'm bloated, and I will be drinking water.
Um, I already have planned soup for the day because it will be very comfortable in my stomach and then I'll, I'll probably start some vegetables to just kind of keep things moving. So. I don't know. I wanted to share with you because I am normal and that is exactly what [00:09:00] weight loss will look like is up and down and not like far huge reaches, but just normal.
This is what normal looks like. And when you start to change your thinking to neutralize some of that thinking about what normal is going to look like, It changes so many things for you. Instead of coming home feeling like I've ruined everything, I'm up five and a half pounds. I'm like, I had a great time.
I got to pick foods I love and, um, I'm not going to do that every day. I do not drink like that. I do not eat like that. Um, and there was nothing wrong with it when I was on vacation because that's what I chose, but that's Not how my body feels that's best, and that's not what I choose to do for myself on a day to day.
So, I wanted to share that with you. I think that is, um, something that you probably could relate very well with. And I don't want to ever come across like, I have it all figured out. Or that I [00:10:00] do everything perfectly. or that, um, it's just completely easy peasy for me and I don't have to have much effort.
Because that's not true. The effort is there and, um, it can look, it can look so many different ways. That's why I like to say there's no one way. to lose weight. I did the rebranding and concierge weight loss. There's no one way to lose weight. Everyone deals with different things. So just figuring all that kind of stuff out.
I got to explain on the cruise to a few people, like what I do. And I'm like, I'm a weight loss coach. And they're like, what does that mean? Are you? And they, they, I thought I was a personal trainer. I'm like, no, no, no, weight loss coach. And I was like, so what that means is, and I've loved this. So I'm going to share what I do is I help people lose weight.
you follow a very simple basics of weight loss. Um, just really huge self care health kind of things like get your water in, get your sleep in. only eat when [00:11:00] you're hungry, and so when you stop being hungry, you stop eating, and so that's all it is. Coaching is anything that comes up that prevents you from doing that, that makes that feel hard, that um, discourages you, gets you in confusion, overwhelms, stress, all the thinking, all the habits, all those things that prevent you from just eating when you're hungry, getting your water and sleep.
That's the do part and then coaching helps all the rest of that That makes that part feel impossible or feel overwhelming or too hard So that's the best way to explain coaching I loved it As soon as I said I was like I need to start using that So that's what I do. I help with all those things that make it hard.
So um And I want to say this is probably One of the trips I was most aware. I Really? I don't think I made it hard at all this time. I didn't have [00:12:00] thinking that was hard. I didn't have any of it hard. So that is what I wanted to share with you. Okay, so what I planned to talk to you about today is self care.
So this week is all about self care and what I have loved is, is that self care can look like so many things. Self care was me being aware on my cruise. Self care is me having more water, hot tea, and, um, soup when I got home to gently allow my, uh, body to get back to, um, an, uh, you know, a non bloated state, a comfortable state.
Um, taking care of my health, that's all self care. Um, The thing about self care is people either look at it being just health or just like pampering yourself in a spa, right? And there's so many different things that self care is. Self care can be [00:13:00] saying no to somebody. Self care can be, um, sticking up for yourself.
Self care can be giving yourself the opportunity to take a nap when you need it. Um, It can be something. It could be washing your face, actually shaving your legs, exfoliating and lotioning all on the same day. It could be something like that. So, um, self care is a way to love yourself. It show appreciation to yourself.
And whenever I think about self care in the way of like managing stress, I like to think of it as we have this like, This cup of stress and self care is the actions that allow us to dump the cup out so that then, normal life, we can keep, uh, allowing, um, things to come. So, possibly adding more stress to your cup, but when you empty it out, you have room for it now.
It doesn't [00:14:00] feel overwhelming to have day to day stress. So, um, What I like to think of is like, have you ever been in a car with someone and someone stops abruptly in front of them? You don't have any idea why they stopped abruptly, but like, if it turns into an all out yelling match at that car in front of you and like, it's a personal offense that they got into your lane, or they saw you, Stop short or something that probably means you need some self care.
You probably need to empty out your cup. If a routine day to day kind of thing, um, peeves you off so much that you're yelling at a random car, maybe they were stopping cause a kid, maybe someone cut them off. Who knows? But that self care allows you to just be like, Oh, that was a close one and then keep going or switch your lane, whatever.
So that's it. That being said, with your, um, with [00:15:00] your self care, uh, I want you to take this week and I want you to find something for you. So is it something like your health, your sleep, your water, uh, maybe you need a new vitamin or you need, um, like you would really feel good, like I said, like soup, water, hot tea this week are my main focus is to get myself back to a kind of a normal.
Stomach. Um, like those are all self care. Maybe. Um, you are a busy mama and like, getting your teeth and face washed, your teeth brushed and your face washed before bed. And that would feel like luxurious to you. You're not falling into bed exhausted to do it all over the next day. You're taking the minute to like, enjoy washing your face before bed.
Like, you are important and that time is important for you. Um, so, maybe it's something like that. Um Maybe it's something you're looking forward to. So last [00:16:00] week I talked about movement and I talked about how to like anticipate it, like how to get excited about it, look forward to it. So in that being said, like I went on the cruise, so I wanted to have like some podcast, audio book kind of things looking forward to.
I was looking forward to CrossFit when I came back. I'm looking forward to yoga tomorrow. I got a new yoga mat right before I left and I haven't got a chance to use it. It's like extra wide and long. And it's super sticky. So like when you're doing, um, warrior two, my feet should not be sliding. So I'm really anxious to get to use that.
So self care could be like something movement wise. It could be, um, that you're going to not cook. This one's my favorite, right? This is one of my favorites. When people realize their schedules are busier and you plan. That is such beautiful self care. Planning ahead for a busy schedule. Maybe you're like, this week [00:17:00] I'm gonna get a couple salads at Chick fil A and eat those and that's what my meals are gonna look like.
Or I've gone to the deli and got rotisserie chickens that are already pulled off the bone and I'm like, we're gonna have a sandwich with this, tacos with this, we're gonna have a salad with this, and it's all that chicken. And it's already cooked and it, it does cost more, but like. It made my my week easier and I had really good food that I felt good in my body and It was about ease that week.
So maybe that's the self care for you. You get to pick. Um, one of the self cares that was hard for me to get started with was journaling. Um, and so sometimes when, uh, before I started coaching, I did not really love journaling. It felt like a Dear Diary session, you know, some teenage drama. And now, like, What happens is you get these little like whispers of [00:18:00] thoughts and if you're not addressing them, they start to build up.
And so like this is taking too long. This, you know, I'm not doing it right. I'm not good enough to do this or to keep doing this or whatever it is. And so, um, when you have that kind of thinking, it does, it makes it harder and it's not something you want to do. And. So managing your thinking, whether it's journaling, getting coached, whatever, that is definitely some self care.
Um, and with that, kind of like I talked about with stress, dumping the stress out to be able to be refilled, you know, to be able to handle some more stress. Journaling helps, journaling and, um, coaching, it helps your brain kind of, like, let some of that go. So that then, um, When things happen, you're not like building on all of the thinking you've already had.
Like, well, I was already thinking I wasn't good enough, and now this is [00:19:00] just more proof or whatever. And so, um, it's not anything like that. You don't, you don't have to allow that build up. It's, um, self care lets it all out. And, you know, and it's better. Like, we were talking about, um, where you might need some stress relief if you're yelling at the car in front of you.
Well, maybe you don't get to the point of yelling at the car in front of you if you, like, let all the yells out, all the, all the profanity and words or whatever in your, um, journaling or with your coach. So self care is definitely one of those things that you can do for yourself anytime, anywhere, it can look like anything.
And so it's not a me first kind of movement, it is a me too kind of movement. And so with that, That is one of the things I love. It's me too. And so when you are in the mix with your self care, you're taking care of [00:20:00] your needs, what your body needs, what your brain needs, what works good for you. And then you can anticipate it.
You can look forward to it. Um, really, you know, enjoy it. Have it be something you're looking forward to. Um, let me make sure.
I kind of mentioned this. I have a couple more things I wanted to say. So, um, sometimes making time for yourself feels like Selfish. It feels kind of luxurious. And, um, I want to just say, like, you should be able to have a shower. Like, you, you deserve basic care. You, you deserve to have meals. that are actually still warm.
I know a lot of the moms, they serve everybody else. They keep getting up from the table and have everybody else with everything they need before they sit down. And by then [00:21:00] they're eating a cold meal. You can have a warm meal, too. They can get it themselves. They could go without the ketchup if that's what it was, whatever it is.
Just enjoy your meal, too. And so as your Enjoying your meal as you're making time for your health or your sanity or yourself. Think about what kind of an example you're showing everybody else. It's not an example of, um, a me first, um, or I'm putting myself above everybody else, but it's, it's including yourself as important.
It's including, um, all of those things so that you see that you matter, not just. everybody else. When you become a doormat for everybody else, you're also showing them they should be a doormat. And so with self care, um, thinking of yourself as important enough to also get [00:22:00] things, also do things for yourself to take care of your needs.
You are really good. Everybody I work with is, has always been really good at doing things for everybody else. And so. This is such an opportunity to do just a little bit for yourself. And when you do a little bit for yourself, you have so much more of you to give to everyone else. So you'll have more of you to be able to give.
Um, One of the things that some of the clients I work with, um, they are looking for validation. They're looking for people to give them an add a girl kind of thing. And those are so nice, but you can do that for yourself. So, um, Sometimes I think of myself as two different people. And so, um, I, here you go. I have a best friend.
So I'm still [00:23:00] trying to figure this out myself. And yesterday was my birthday and she has sent me a week of, um, beautiful, kind, affirmation, loving, loving, loving, loving words, um, text messages. And at first I thought, Is something wrong? Why is she sending me this? And for one, it is, uh, I always tell her like, yeah, you give me beautiful words in a birthday card once a year.
And so she's done this one other time and she said, I responded the same way. Like, what's wrong? I'm like, is something wrong with, is she dying? Did I say something that made me sound like I was struggling? And so like, as much as I loved validation for so long, Then whenever, now, I'm like, when you're not used to getting it from certain people, or even routinely, you're like, what is wrong?
What has happened? Am I looking too needy? Like, what is going on? So anyway, that was a funny thing that's happened this week. I, uh, the validating [00:24:00] yourself, you can give yourself that at a girl. And like I said, I kind of sometimes think of myself as two people. And so sometimes I think of myself now versus my future self.
Sometimes I think of myself as like a caregiver of myself. Um, so it just kind of depends on what's going on, but I, I definitely talk to myself and I do the talk back thing. So I know they say you're okay as long as you're not talking back, but I do the talk back. So sometimes it's, um, you did really good, whatever, or like, Hey future self, I've got you.
I'm going to take care of this. And so whatever it is, Just validate yourself. You don't need other people to do that. So your self care might be some affirmations, words of love and kindness. There's actually an app that I've talked about many times called the I am app, and it sends you, um, really nice, uh, things.
And in the beginning, I was so unused to hearing that, that it would, it would send [00:25:00] something to me on my text message or on an app and I'd be like, Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you. And it was like the app is telling me something, and I, I was like overwhelmed with hearing those words, so that was funny.
Regardless what's going on, stop your bad self talk. Be your own BFF. and talk that way to yourself. When you're talking to yourself, um, with that bad self talk, um, putting yourself down, um, making it, like, diminishing your efforts or making them not good enough, that, that is not how you would ever speak to a friend.
You would never speak to your children probably that way either. And so think of yourself as your own BFF. Think of yourself as like your own mother child relationship. Take care of yourself in how you're speaking. So that is what I want to talk to you about with self care. I would love for you to pick one thing and leave it in the comments.
[00:26:00] Tell me what it is you're going to pick for self care. Is it something water, sleep, food related? Is it taking care of your body? Maybe you're going to make a doctor's appointment that you've been putting off. Uh, maybe it's exercise. Maybe it is a massage or a facial or nails or something. Maybe it has something to do with your planning or making things easier for yourself.
Whatever it is, I want to hear what it is. Tell me what it is. Tell me what you're going to do, how you're looking forward to it, how you're making it exciting or something you're going to love. Um, leave that in the notes for me. And if you have a friend who has not been taking very good care of themselves, that self care is not happening for them, send them the transcript.
This link, share it and tell them like I care so much about you that I want you to learn the importance of self care and it's not putting you above everyone else. It's just me to give [00:27:00] yourself a little bit of time to so if you have a great friend that you would love to hear this. Share this. Share it, share it, share it.
Um, maybe even do a challenge with your best friend. Do some kind of a challenge where you are sending each other those words of affirmation, those loving, kind words. And, um, get used to speaking about that. If you're used to, like, Gossiping. Can you imagine how different your life would be if you started like Speaking loving kind words to your friends and then back to you that would be absolutely amazing It would change the forecast of your day for your week for whatever it would be amazing So do that for yourself do that for your friends share this with who you think needs a dose of some self care Do it for lovingly for them and um You As I always say, like I have that wonderful [00:28:00] next step quiz that helps you figure out what has held you back from weight loss.
Remember all the things that, um, make weight loss hard for you. So, uh, take that so that you can see what that is so we can get moving. Right. I will see you all next week. Bye. Thank you for listening to the concierge weight loss podcast. Like what you heard today, leave a review or share with a friend and check out the next step quiz where you'll find what has held you back from lasting weight loss and what to do next.
You will find the link to this and many other helpful podcasts and videos in the show notes. I can't wait to see you there.
