Group 11:15:22 Public Audio
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Coaching Kara podcast. I am Kara Hackleman. I'm a certified life and weight loss coach. I help people just like you lose weight for the last time. Primarily, people are a little people pleasing, a little procrastinating, and maybe a little perfectionistic. I can help you overcome those so that you can finish losing weight and get out of your own way.
Join me each week to get a little motivation and a lot of inspiration.
Alrighty,
let me get my Self set up here.
All right. I'm going to take those out because I think I just messed them up. All right. We are going to get started [00:01:00] today. We are going to go over like the getting ready for the holidays with the holidays. We started last week and we talked about how to have an attitude of gratitude for yourself when you speak.
great to yourself, then everything after that will be amplified with how you speak to others. You'll be grateful for everyone else. Also, when you start with yourself, the next part we want to talk about this week is how to game plan. We're going to game plan for the holiday, figure out what the next step is.
So with, there we go. It likes to and then all of a sudden it gets very clear. Um, so the first thing we're going to do is we're going to look at what your holiday consists of. Like how many different events? Are they different meals? Are they different activities? Are you going before the holiday? During?
After? Is it a whole weekend? What exactly is it? Um, maybe you guys [00:02:00] are going after, after the holiday shopping and then you're um, I'm so sorry. Let me send that. So maybe you're going after the holiday shopping and you're going to be eating out again then. So whatever all the different sections of it are, you're going to game plan those.
Have them already in your head. Look at first, What is it that makes this special? What makes it exciting? I was putting together some different social media posts for this week and next week, um, and I was looking at like what were my favorite things of the holiday. Pumpkin pie made the list, but I can tell you not everything.
Is special. And so whenever I start looking at all the different things that are going to be made up of it, I'm not looking at everything that makes it special being on that plate. For me, it's being with my family and the people we love having a time that no matter what we [00:03:00] all stop what we're doing and we get together.
We We had a, we've actually already had our Thanksgiving. We had the first Saturday of the month. And so this particular year we had an emergency room visit from someone who bumped their nose a little, a little talk. Uh, Tyke had gotten his, um, nose bumped pretty hard and had a little hematoma on it. So we had an emergency room visit, but typically we have, um, the absolute craziest game of musical chairs after dinner.
Um, we sit around and play cards, which we did that this year. And like looking at all the different parts of it that make it special. Usually somebody's in the kitchen with me and I love that time together. And it really has nothing to do with the food. It has to do with the togetherness. So with each of it, what is it that makes it absolutely so special?
Look at that first. Then ask yourself, is there a part that is food related that you are wanting to make sure that you have [00:04:00] something on your plate? If you had nothing else, like I said, mine's pumpkin pie. So if you had absolutely nothing else from the holiday on that plate, but that one slice of pumpkin pie, that's what mine is with the cool whip.
I would be thrilled to death. Like we could forego all the turkey and all the things, and I would be thrilled to death to have pumpkin pie on my plate. So for me, that food is special, but I'm going to plan it. I'm going to know it's there. I'm looking forward to it. I'm excited about it. And so when I do that, what happens is I'm not going into it thinking I need the entire pie.
I don't go into it thinking like I need. seven pies or that I need to eat everything. And so I might be willing to like take one fork full of somebody's favorite dessert that they made special for the event and be like, yeah, that was delicious. But for me, I know I am saving room for the pumpkin pie. So, um, [00:05:00] This particular year, I can tell you, we've already had ours.
So we got there and we had some people that were quite a bit late. And so I ate my pumpkin pie right off the bat before I even had my dinner. I knew it was very special and very important to me. I was starting to get hungrier and I did not want to waste any space on regular food and not have. Room in my stomach for the pumpkin pie.
So by the time they finally got there, I'm eating pumpkin pie and waiting for my food. And doing that, I did not care if I had all of the rolls and the mashed potatoes and like, you know, all the stuff, but I had room for my pie. And so that way I was able to gauge it. So then I got the part I really wanted, and then I could pay attention to my hunger after that.
Everybody's going to do this a little bit differently, but it's a game plan. So my game plan was to put a spoonful of each thing that I wanted and I could go back and have a couple more spoonfuls if that's what I really thought I wanted. [00:06:00] Instead of using a big serving spoon, I just used a, a, um, like a teaspoon.
It's a, it's like a regular teaspoon that you would eat with, like if you were going to have something. And each of those for me is about what a bite is. And so I was, Collecting bites on my plate that were going to be my favorite things. And that's how I was serving it to myself. Um, the next part would be like, um, what are you going to do with the leftovers?
And so I got to have a wonderful coaching call. I think it's about a month ago. With someone who hadn't been scheduling, like had not been planning foods that they enjoy often. And they had wanted to make these brownies and the brownies, when they went to make them, they were like talking to me about how they typically ate brownies.
Right. So when they typically ate brownies in the past, they would eat the whole pan and. That's not how they wanted to show up this time. So now for [00:07:00] the holiday, I want you to think about what are you going to do with your leftovers? So for me, I had to go containers. I had a whole couple stacks of those, uh, plastic, uh, meal prep type with the little clear lid kind of thing.
I had a ton of those already ready. I had made sure I had Ziploc bags in every size. And I asked my husband, what do you want? Cause it's just the two of us now, our son moved out this year. So at home, it was the two of us that were going to be here. And so after that, I was like, I'm going to make sure as much of this food goes home.
My husband even said, you're giving away all of our food. And so I was like, what is it that you really want to have? And I made sure we had that. We had a few meals, but it was not like where it was like a repeat feast every day for every meal. I felt really good about that. Other people had it. I even threw away food like right off the bat.
Does anybody want some of this to take home? Nope. Okay. And I dumped it [00:08:00] down the garbage disposal, not even batting an eye. And I did not feel wasteful. It served its purpose. Its purpose was our meal. And if nobody else wanted it, absolutely fine. Let's see. So we've got plan ahead. Make your game plan.
What's important? What are your favorite foods? And then from there, What are you going to do with the leftovers? When you're at your event, the other part to think about, everybody's going to have different things going on. So I have mentioned that I lost my mom last year. So Thanksgiving has been a little different.
We, we totally understood it and not having an expectation that it has to look a certain way. The only thing was that I was happy that whoever could make it could come. And that was. That set the precedent for me for the entire day, the entire weekend, whoever can be here can come and I will enjoy every [00:09:00] moment with them and I will miss who's not here.
And if someone felt like celebrating great, and if they didn't, they could be quieter too. They were totally fine with whichever ended up for them. I wanted to make sure that I had already thought through a couple of conversations. So sometimes when people come, um, to your house, you will have thought ahead of time that like, this person always says something about this.
Maybe they, this isn't my situation, but maybe they talk about your weight. And so with them talking about your weight, you want to have already thought in your head, what do you think about this? And what do you, how do you want to show up? Do you want to show up like eating in response to what people have said?
Maybe your kids don't get along. And so you want to think ahead of time about that, whatever the situation is, when it involves other people, those [00:10:00] relationships, um, I coach all the time. So you guys hear me say, when you have, Other people, they're going to be entitled to their own thinking, their own feeling about things.
They can say or do whatever they want. You are welcome to leave the room. You're welcome to ask them to leave if it's your house. But, when you start expecting that people are going to have different opinions than you, then you are able to handle the situation. And if you know that in past holidays, certain people have always come to the holiday with different opinions.
Some political opinion or some opinion about you or your weight or what you're wearing or how you cooked your meal, whatever it is, know that they just had a different opinion and that's okay. So think through ahead of time what you're expecting them to say or how they, how you think they might based on how it's been in the past.
And then once you do that, think about how do I want [00:11:00] to respond? It right now, while I'm totally not emotionally connected to this, how do I want to respond? How do I want to show up with them? Um, how do I want it to, um, be after they say these things? Like, what do I want it to look like the rest of the event?
And if you want to be done, be done. It's, I mean, give yourself grace and love too. If you want to Just walk away, walk away. However you want to respond. If you think by golly, this is the year I'm going to say whatever, then say whatever, think it through ahead of time, know what you're feeling and thinking about it so that you can come as your best self, not as a responsive self.
You don't want to be responding. Uh, to these, to these words, they're just words and you can show up how you want to. So those are what I have, um, all kinds of things, making sure that, you know, you're deciding ahead of time, if you're going to have [00:12:00] alcohol, are you going to have dessert? Are you going to have it later?
Are you going to have it then? Like, what is it? Any decision you can make ahead of time, you're going to make those thinking through, um, the entire event as, as much as you can. All right. Let's see. I see Lana on here. Do you want to start your video and unmute?
Oh, you sent me a text. Oh, that was just to let you know I was coming. I did that several minutes ago. I wasn't focused on it. Sorry. All righty. How, how are you expecting your holiday to go? Are you freezing cold? I'm at Malia's house and I'm not warm. You got your poppy coat on. I know. Um, [00:13:00] it's sister and I swap holidays.
So this year she has Thanksgiving, which we have at her daughter's house. And then I have Christmas, so it's terrible to say, but it's just same old, same old. I mean, everybody gets along and things just seem to run fairly smooth. Um, I know I have to take chicken and noodles because my grandkids like my chicken and noodles and not Sheila's, which is Ed's sister.
She, they don't like her. They only like mine. So she said, you've got to bring noodles. I'm not going to listen to them. It doesn't bother her to have two, two pans of noodles or anything. Oh, she's not going to make noodles. I'm just making them. Oh, okay. Yeah. She told me I had to make them the grandkids Told that her noodles aren't as good as mammals [00:14:00] What can I say?
Um, but other than that, I thanksgiving's easy for me Yeah So I know we've talked in the past like anytime you have an event you decide ahead of time. Are you coming to? lose weight maintain or gain Like you make the decision ahead of time, which, which direction you want it to be. And then you plan accordingly after.
So what is it that you are planning on doing with your weight? I'm going to plan on maintaining. Okay. How do you think, how do you think it needs to look or what do you need to do or think what has to happen for you to maintain?
I think just plan a dessert or a bite of. two or three [00:15:00] different desserts, not the whole desserts. I don't think I can eat unlimited desserts and maintain. Okay. So are, is dessert the only area that you would feel like urges or cravings to eat more of? Probably most likely. Okay. Yes. And so how, tell me, tell me your game plan for your, for your desserts.
Well, I have to first see what all there is. Okay. If there's two or three, I like, I will probably maybe cut the pieces smaller and do the two or three that I would.
I'm not sure, but I think the garage door went up. They Malia and Eli may be running in here in a [00:16:00] minute. I may have to mute. Oh, you're good. Um, but I, I think that's mainly it is just because I, I don't overeat on normal foods. I mean, I don't know. Thanksgiving's just another meal. Okay. Well, I remember once upon a time hearing about overeats on noodles, so Mm hmm.
Noodles is what you're telling me you're bringing. Yeah, but I don't Well, we just had a turkey noodle dinner at church, so I just ate noodles. I'm not really You're not real excited about them? Not really excited about them, no, since I just had some. So tell me about these desserts. Are you eating them first?
Are you eating them right after your meal, like later in the day, the next day? Tell me about these. Um, I will probably not eat them [00:17:00] Immediately after the meal, but within maybe an hour. Okay. So an hour after your holiday dinner, your holiday meal, and then how are you going to be able to make sure that you're hungry an hour after your meal?
Well, I'm going to have to stop eating the noodles before, before I'm full. So, typically when you eat, what are your, um, hunger cues? Like, what is it that you're noticing when you are, are to the point of enough?
I think comfortable. I'm not feeling stuffed or miserable, just comfortable. Would comfortable kind of be like neutral? Yes. Yeah.
So with comfortable or neutral, how many hours of, how many hours [00:18:00] are you normally before you get hungry again?
If I'm just comfortable about 45 minutes. Oh, okay. So normally you eat and 45 minutes later, you're hungry again. I'm not hungry, but I'm, I'm, I'm getting antsy. Tell me about that. What does that mean? Um, it's like I, Want something to eat. Have you tried eating more to see, like, typically it, it, it's ideal to get about three to four hours of hunger satisfied when you eat a meal.
So if you ate breakfast, typically we want about three to four hours before we start getting hungry again. Same with lunch before we get to dinner. And if it's only at 45 minutes to an [00:19:00] hour, are you eating enough?
Or is it a craving? Well, maybe it's a craving cause that's when I want something sweet. Okay. So it's not like, Oh, even just more of what I had, but like, I want a sweet an hour later. Okay. That is super interesting or not or not. It's not interesting. Well, it just depends if you're doing the Eaton or you're well, either way.
I mean, there's some, there's something to learn from it, you know? So, like, knowing that you're hungry again in an hour. is interesting. Like, is it? So it gives you places to play and practice. Like, if it's an hour, is it like more chicken and noodles would do the trick? Or no, only like checkerboard [00:20:00] pie? Like, which is it that it is?
Because if it's, Just checkerboard pie. That's probably a craving or an urge. It's not even physical hunger. It's just a habit that has developed that you like something sweet after you've had your meal. I think you, I think that's probably what it is. More of a habit. So, yeah, so how could you just include something sweet, but make sure you've had enough hunger?
We want to know that it's physical hunger. It's not, I'm not saying like famished, I'm going to pass out if I don't eat, but like, how could you make sure that you have hunger for when you're ready to have your pie or whatever your dessert is, I think just to eat less at the meal, save room. Yeah. Save room.
If you're, if you're thinking like, like you said, that [00:21:00] you're going to probably want your pie an hour. I mean, I keep saying pie. I don't know what your favorite dessert is, but like if you're wanting dessert, like an hour after you eat and you've typically ate to neutral ish satisfied, then what would eating less to be able to make sure you're hungry?
Then what would that look like? How are you going to know when to stop?
I'm not real sure. Other than just telling me myself to stop, save room. I really, so are you putting less on your plate? Are you, like I said, I use spoons, like, like, um, what I would eat with that kind of a spoon so that I can see each one is a bite so that I can see how many bites that would be versus big serving spoons, um, you know, the old tricks of serving a smaller plate or.[00:22:00]
I don't know. What's your, what's your game plan? You think, like what, how. Based on how much you typically have on your plate, how are you going to decide? I think just smaller portions. Yeah. Okay. What was that old Weight Watchers thing? Lots of white space or something. Lots of white space on your plate.
Did you ever hear that one? It was, the idea was that your food wasn't touching. So like there's less. Oh, that's perfect. Yeah. So lots of white space. It serves you less because you know, if you keep pouring more food on it, it's going to fall over and touch the other things. So just a little bit of each thing and then it won't.
What did they say? Islands, not continents or something. They had all kinds of crazy, [00:23:00] crazy things. What? So we talked about like, when I was talking about like what you're going to do with your leftovers.
Well, since I'm not cooking, I won't have leftovers other than the noodles. And it seems like if they don't all get eaten, um, people take them. Okay. So, my sister in law doesn't, isn't fond of turkey, so she usually sends the turkey home, but that's okay. It's pretty safe. Yeah. So, yeah, we had, um, some ham that I was really excited when I made hot ham and cheese one day.
And that was like the last of the ham, but it's funny, like the meat and even with my own thinking, you know, some things have. Emotional connection and other things do not like, I was absolutely okay with [00:24:00] throwing all the green beans down the drain, but the ham, Oh no, we have to, I had in my head, this whole story that we have to make leftovers with it.
And we have to cook different meals or different things. And so in the past, I used to freeze it and that was absolutely fine for me. But this year we didn't have enough that I felt like I wanted to like, Get freezer bags out for. And so we just kept reheating or making sandwiches or, um, doing, you know, different types of dinners with it.
And so in somewhere in my head, it was, it was wasteful to not use it up, but yeah, I was okay with throwing away the green beans. So I don't, I don't, I can't think of any time after that meal that I overate on the ham. So I don't think it was that, but just that it's just interesting, you know, to hear that my brain's trying to tell me [00:25:00] that it's wasteful to throw ham away, but not green beans.
So. As long as it's not going on my backside. Right. I didn't eat it to my backside. All right. What do you have any favorite holiday traditions or any favorite thing about the holiday that you're looking forward to? No, just with family. It's all, I think all the kids get to come. RJ won't be here this year.
He's in Hawaii. Rough. Right. Sounds, sounds like a nice place to be. Yeah, I guess. I don't have any desire to go to Hawaii. I'm, I've just become an old fuddy dud. I used to want to go to Hawaii, but not anymore. Yeah. Um, I've gone, it was, it was nice. Uh, I think the [00:26:00] Caribbean is a lot cheaper, a lot closer and fairly equal.
So. I asked you earlier, you said last week that you wanted to do three plans. Did you make a plan for today? Hey, I got 'em made. Yes. Yeah, you did. You already make the one for tomorrow too? Look at you. Was it, um, was it easy peasy or was there any drama in your mind? No, there wasn't any drama, but it was easy peasy because I put on a pot of vegetable soup for our dinner tonight.
And so tomorrow will be some leftover vegetable soup for one meal, and maybe even tomorrow evening because we have some repeat leftover. Yeah. So, I don't have it right here in front of me my iPad just died but my meal plan hat. I can't share it. I was trying to think if I could [00:27:00] share it on my screen. My meal plan for every day has Only one thing that's typically ever different and it's my dinner.
And so my breakfast has four options on it. And my lunch has, I think, three or four options on it. And then my dinner is the only thing that ever changes. I, yeah, and I know how you eat. So typically you eat. Fairly similarly, like your breakfast is pretty much always the same, you know, you, what was it you said?
The, the cutie orange was the, was the trade out for your banana, but yeah. And so in doing that, um, why do you, why do you think you do that? Like, why do you eat similarly each day? Well, breakfast is easy grab and go. I mean, you know, in the refrigerator, I just grab it. And go, [00:28:00] um, lunch because I'm not cooking.
I mean, I'm just grabbing something, even if it's a fast food sandwich, but dinner is what it's home and we eat together. So I, I mean, I think that's why it's always different, not the same thing each day. So you probably. would have a plan that looked similar to mine. Probably. Some variation of something for breakfast.
Some very, like my, my lunch, it says, um, leftovers, soup, salad, sandwich. Plus a piece of fruit. So that's what my lunch is pretty much every day, either leftovers. If I have it or soup sale, soup salad sandwich, and then add a piece of fruit every single day. And so [00:29:00] if I have leftovers, I grabbed that last night.
I did not cut up the salad and I started thinking, I don't know if I'm going to get it cut up. I might just take it with us on vacation because we're driving. So I can put some food in a cooler and have it there. But. I don't, I don't, I don't really desire a lot of variation. And so the only time I have really a plan other than just copy and paste and like, you know, and I, when I used to handwrite it, I would just write protocol.
And my protocol was like what my breakfast was, what my lunch was. And so I really only had to plan one meal a day. And that was really the dinner. And I got to where I loved planning those, like for a week, and then I could switch them and move them around. And then I gave myself the ability to pick whichever one worked best.
And then if I was going to pick something that wasn't on that list, I just made like a rule for myself, I had to do that [00:30:00] 24 hours in advance so that it wasn't. Like, Oh, KFC sounds good. Let's have some, you know, fried chicken tonight when I planned, you know, something different. So. It couldn't replace it with a craving urge kind of thing, but, you know, it gave me the ability to change it.
So like, if you called and said, Carrie, you want to go to dinner? I could be like, I can tomorrow night. Sure. Sounds good. You know, and I could make the plan change. So it gave me some room for that flexibility to have a social calendar too. Yeah. Okay. All right, Chickadee, I will talk to you later. And next week is Thanksgiving week.
So I'll probably put some special stuff through email, some different, um, videos. If anybody wants to get a little, uh, video in, but we will not have group coaching next week. Okie dokie. All right. See ya. Bye bye. Like what you heard today? Leave a review wherever you are [00:31:00] listening and check out the free five day quick start course.
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