2022 - 11:3 Fb Live Public for Audio
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Coaching Kara podcast. I am Kara Hackleman. I'm a certified life and weight loss coach. I help people just like you lose weight for the last time. Primarily people are a little people pleasing, a little procrastinating, and maybe a little perfectionistic. I can help you overcome those so that you can finish losing weight and get out of your own way.
Join me each week to get a little motivation and a lot of inspiration.
Good morning. I wanted to hop on real quick and talk to you just a little bit about getting past our writing it down obstacles. So when we are having issues with writing it down, that all comes from things in our head. Um, writing it down is not hard. We have time and time [00:01:00] again talked about how writing it down makes things so much easier, so much simpler, less things for us to have to decide.
And so writing it down is not hard. You might tell yourself writing it down is hard and then pay attention to all the reasons you're giving for why it is hard. Those are your thoughts. Your thoughts are what are preventing you from writing it down. Okay, so that part cleared up, clears mud, clears water, whatever you want to say, right?
But writing it down is hard, it's coming from your thinking. So writing it down is amazing. And so the more you tell yourself why you want to write it down, the easier it is, and the more you're going to want to do it. Okay, so writing it down, we're going to write down our plan. And we've already talked about this a few other times.
Um, Writing it down makes it so that we already know we've already decided ahead of time. I talk about how I get into decision fatigue. There's just so many things that I have to [00:02:00] decide each day that I do. And I, I make great decisions. I'm sure you do too, but deciding one more thing. Sometimes I'm like, just tell me where we're going to for dinner.
I can't make another decision. And so when I say writing it down makes it easy, You've already made the decision. You weren't tied to it emotionally. So you're not having urges or cravings that maybe prevent you from showing up for your goals. You've already decided ahead of time, like what your intention was, like what type of food you wanted to eat, how much of it possibly.
And then you just have to listen to your hunger whenever you're actually eating it. But the decision was already made as to what you were going to have. Because you wrote it down and so I, I, plenty of times, like today, today's supposed to be date night. My husband sometimes comes home from work and he's exhausted.
So I have two options for me. One in case we don't go out and the other one if we do. And so two options makes it [00:03:00] easy for me so that the, I don't know what's gonna happen. I can't predict where we're gonna be at. I don't know what other people are gonna want. I know that like. 50 percent of the restaurants serve something with meat and vegetables, some kind of a salad.
Usually they have a soup. So like I can make a decision based on just like figuring it out. Right. And the more I do that, the more empowered I am. I don't know if I've shared this with you guys in the beginning of my weight loss journey. When I first found my mentor, I had such decision fatigue and it wasn't even just decision fatigue.
It was, I was afraid. I was afraid to make a decision because I was afraid to make another wrong decision. I had tried dieting for so long and everything was, Like I'd have doctors telling me, Oh, with your cholesterol, you should eat this, but not that. And then I'd have with my autoimmune, you should eat this, but not that.
And then I was pre diabetic, eat this and not that. And all of it [00:04:00] was conflicting. And so I got to where all I did was try to listen to what everybody was telling me to do. And it made me more and more afraid to make decisions. And so by the time I found my mentor, um, with my weight loss experience, I was like, Hey, I just need you to tell me what to eat.
And she's like, well, what do you think you should eat? And. I couldn't like I was so stuck with like I remember crying because I couldn't make a decision. And so I was so afraid I was going to make the wrong decision and the wait was just going to keep coming. And so, um, in that particular day I did not love that she wouldn't help me make a decision.
But the thing is, she really did help me make the decision. It, she helped me gain the confidence and the trust in myself that I can make any decision that I need. And the beauty of it is it's just to try it, try it and see if it does something, try it and see if it works. And then when you do that, You can change it a bunch of [00:05:00] times.
And so like, Oh, I tried this for a week and I don't think I feel any better. Let's try something different. She used to call them level ups. So like each week you decide like, how do you want to level up this week? And so you just kept picking some little thing. She called it a 1 percent level up. So I would 1 percent level up for the week.
And it felt like it was so insignificant. It probably wasn't going to do anything. But it made me really think I can totally do that. And so like I trusted that she said I could do it and that it would make a difference. And so I would do the 1 percent level up. And when I did the 1 percent level up, I felt like I accomplished something.
So I gained the trust in myself again. Right. So, um, the planning makes it so much easier. It makes the decisions ahead of time. You gain, Trust in yourself by doing what you say you'll do amazing stuff, right? So the, uh, other thing that I have and many of my clients have is [00:06:00] that they don't want to write it down because they really don't want to have to follow it.
And not only do they not want to have to follow it, they don't want to have to, again, one more piece of evidence to show that they're not doing what they say they'll do. And so that tells me that they're writing plans that are just not doable. It's not doable for them. And so when I say make a doable plan, I want you to truly make it doable.
If doable looks like ice cream and pizza and Big Macs, write that down. Start wherever you are at. Figure out. How to eat that and lose some weight. Maybe you eat one slice less. Maybe you have a single little bowl instead of the whole carton of ice cream. Maybe you have like, I don't know, half of your Big Mac.
You get to decide what you're eating. And so as long as you're making it doable, you won't ever get into that feeling of restriction and deprivation. You're learning how to eat it. And then when you want to have foods outside of [00:07:00] your normal things, you're going to have a reason for why you wanted to try that too, because you already knew you lost weight eating the Big Macs and pizza and ice cream.
And now you're ready to like, Level up and do a little bit different. Maybe you went from a Big Mac to a single cheeseburger. Maybe you went from, you know, four slices of pizza to one or two, or like I said, you know, the, the single bowl of ice cream. And so, or maybe your bowl got smaller, smaller and smaller.
And then at some point you learn how to listen to your hunger cues. And I teach hunger scale, hunger cues, your body will always tell you, but we have gotten so accustomed to not listening that we don't hear when it said it's. By the way, I've had enough. I don't need anymore. And so we just ignore it and we finish the bowl or we're eating because we think that like, it's, it's happy.
It's happy time. Cause we're having this really great food and we're wanting more happiness and we're getting it from the bottom of the ice cream bowl. So the other part is the assessment. So as I say, the [00:08:00] assessment is not your, your beat down. It is not to show all the things you once again did not do right.
In fact, I want you to assess and look at the things specifically that you did do right. Look at what you did well. And grow on that. The other stuff will always come to your attention. You will always know when you had a few extra bites. You will always know when you added a piece of chocolate that wasn't on your plant.
That stuff is amazing to know because it tells you that you should be putting the chocolate on your plant, um, or that you're not listening to your hunger cues. And then we can find out why not. And so, um, what is going on that you're, you're desiring more that you're, um, not listening to your hunger cues intentionally sometimes even.
So like, what is it? It just gives us information. It gives us somewhere to look at next. What's the next thing to think about, to talk about? And so, um, that brings me to Habit Tracker. And I'm guilty of this too. The [00:09:00] habit tracker for me was one more place to show I wasn't doing what I said I would do. One more proof I'm not able to do yet another thing to lose weight.
The habit tracker shows you what you are doing right. It shows you all the areas that you have already created change. And so like, I have a client in mind who focused on water for a very long time. And when she did that, she, instead of focusing on how great her water was, she, most of the time focused on all the things she wasn't doing.
And so we, we rode the water train for a while and she started to feel like super accomplished with being able to have the water and that gave her some confidence to try some other things. So she focused on her water. And if it wasn't the beating up herself of all the things she wasn't doing, it would have been fine.
It would have been absolutely perfect the way it was supposed to happen because [00:10:00] it gave her confidence to try other things. She realized, I absolutely can do some of this, even most of the time. I can do some of it, some of the time, and then like start trying to get a little more a little more, uh, in the thing that she was trying.
And it doesn't have to be all the things, you're just tracking them. And so, um, when you stop, if you notice there, there's a common thread here, stop beating yourself up. Stop looking for all the ways that you are doing it wrong and start congratulating yourself. Start celebrating your wins. Start looking for all the ways that you and then keep growing from there.
When you tell a child that you did something really good, very amazing. They want to do more and more of that for you. They love that. Excitement of a job. Well done. We all do it doesn't matter how old you are. We still love to hear that we did it right. whether we're hearing it from ourselves, from the piece of [00:11:00] paper, or from another person.
And so until we learn how to speak those words, To ourself that we are doing a job well done, writing it down is so important. So this is about getting over your obstacles of writing it down, right? So sometimes to start people write down, um, just their dinner. My breakfast, my lunch were pretty much always the same couple things.
And so I wrote down my dinners and I got used to writing down dinners. I was like, Oh, it's so much easier to write down my dinners because then I know what to buy at the grocery store. I know what to lay out the night before so that like nothing's frozen and it takes even less time to cook it. It's so much easier to cook it when it's, it's not frozen, right?
The, the meat is easier to cut or, or whatever it is. It's. It's so much easier to make when you know you have the ingredients in your house because you bought them. So it made it so much easier. And then I wasn't like, Oh, the whole day. So figuring [00:12:00] out what is this little thing I can do and go all in on the one thing.
Like, let's see what we can do and look for ways that it's making it easier that you enjoy doing this. Like looking for your wins will help you find all of that. It'll make it so much easier. It'll make it something you want to do because you're finding your wins. You're giving yourself an attagirl or an attaguy.
And so you want more of those from yourself. And so, um, the brain's going to say, but that's not enough. And you say it is for now it is for now. And every time you say it is for now, you're getting another at a, at a girl, at a guy. And so, um, anyway, getting over these obstacles, right? We just piled them on ourselves.
I absolutely. See that you can look at the same piece of paper and have a completely different feeling each time you write it something down. Each time I look at a different client, they come at it from a completely different [00:13:00] angle. And so I'm used to hearing obstacles and I am really good at figuring out why you don't want to do it.
And so usually it's self confidence. Usually you don't want to fail again. Usually you don't want to have to like tell your family, Oh, I already wrote it on my plan. This is what we have to eat. So if we just don't write a plan, then we're not going to have to upset anybody else. And so, um, and then, you know, we, we get into that delaying.
We don't want to do it because we think it sounds hard. We don't want to do it. So we just keep procrastinating, putting it off and like not doing it. And then once you've not done it for so long, it just gets easier to keep out doing it. So pick one part, one little part, right. One little part today and start with that.
Pick some part of your meal that, you know, you can commit to that. That's exactly what you're going to have. In my weight loss program, I am a concierge weight loss coach. So I am your [00:14:00] concierge when you hire me. I look for all the ways to make it easier for you. We look at how to make it faster. We look at how you are going to respond to it.
And I have all the experience of everybody else I've helped. I have the experience of myself and my own weight loss program, all the programs I've ever been in and hearing all of those people. And so I can take all of that and bring it to you. And so that I can listen to what the thing is that's holding you back.
And then together we can, we can focus on it. I can be telling you, this is enough. This is exactly the amount I want you working on right now. I want you to gain confidence. I want you to gain trust in yourself. I a hundred percent believe that you can do it and you can lean on my belief in you until you can start believing it yourself.
So as a concierge weight loss coach. I will help you set up the plan. I'm not going to tell you what to eat because that is the absolute most important part, but I will [00:15:00] hold your hand while you figure it out. I will walk you through step by step. I will encourage you. I will push you. I'll kick you in the pants when we need to do that too.
But I think that when you work with me, it makes it so much easier. And you really do get to learn how to trust yourself. It empowers you to make your decisions and you have so much confidence in those decisions as you learn this process. So. I'm going to put in the show in the, well, this one's not a show notes.
I do podcasts too, but, um, I'll put in the, in the comments area, uh, what you can do to start with working with me. And so, um, the very first thing I would say is let's jump on a consult call just so that we can talk about like. Where has your weight loss been in the past? And where do you want it to go?
And we will, I will listen. I will be the one telling you like what I hear. I hear that you had an obstacle in this place or that place. And this is exactly how I can help. And the beauty is [00:16:00] that I am not like a one trick pony. So like, if you have something that I think we need a brand new program for, I'm going to create that just for you.
I am going to, um, tailor something so that it's the way you need to hear it. And then we will design however it is that we need to go about this. So that you feel totally confident that you can do this and we'll just take it one step at a time. You're going to gain so much momentum when you start trusting yourself.
And it is my favorite part to watch people grow into who they are, that confidence and trust that empowerment. And I would love to see it with you too. So check out the link and, uh, get on a consult call with me so that we can talk about what your next step in weight loss is. Have a good day.
