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Good morning. Looks like my camera is trying to focus here. Um, I'm just going to get started. I sent a couple things in slack this morning. There were kind of some inspirational type, uh, videos that I had found on Instagram that I wanted to share with you guys. And so, um, it kind of goes along with our theme today.
And so the topic is I am. And so here we go. It just took a moment to focus. So the I am, and I'm going to go ahead and start working on getting that video up while I'm talking. But, uh, the video today is about the power of I am. I've [00:02:00] spoke with you guys a little about it in coaching this week. And so, um, that.
That I am is so incredible because anything that you say after it, the brain looks for proof. So if you're saying things that are not kind, it's looking for proof of that. And then if you are saying things, um, that you're working on, it's It helps you with that too. So it's a great, super powerful tool.
It's why it's on every single daily plan. And so I'm going to go ahead and start the video and, uh, we'll watch that and then we'll coach after I love the power of the mind. Well now I do. Now that I am intentionally managing my mind before I made this a daily practice, my mind got to roam the entire playground unsupervised.
It didn't always play nice. Many times it was the bully, the mean kid. My thoughts were pretty prone to picking on me, belittling [00:03:00] and tearing me down. I would think critically of myself and sometimes others. Thankfully, I learned a long time ago that I didn't need to share every thought that entered my mind.
Of course, back then it was more because I didn't really think that my thoughts were important or relevant. Now my mind gets free range to wander and wonder, but I do not allow the bully of my brain to act out anymore. Now, instead of questioning my worth, my relevance, I know my worth. I know that I am important.
I am capable. I am enough. And more than that, I am abundant. I can grow in more abundance. But I cannot ever take away from it as I grow in abundance. It does not make me any more worthy than when I started. I have realized that I am unique and incomparable unrivaled. How, however, I [00:04:00] truly believe that I am equal as we all are.
I believe that we are a hundred percent who we are supposed to be, and that there is no right or wrong to who we are. We are all different and we are all equal. I believe that everyone does the best they can and they would do better if they knew how or felt safe and didn't feel the need to protect themselves.
But there is also not a better that is ever needed. I do not need more or less from you, nor do I need to give you more or less of me. This is a small glimpse into my brain, my thoughts, my beliefs. As I said, this is not where I started at. I really had some very strong opinions about myself and others. I realized many of them were not true.
Most were not kind and usually they were definitely not useful. Back then I was quick to [00:05:00] have opinions about myself and everyone else too. My nieces grumble and tell me that I don't take sides and I don't reveal what my opinions usually are. I've realized that many times when they're asking for this, it is to validate them in their right or someone else's wrongness.
There are always different ways to look up, look at any event or any situation. What I want, if anything, to pass on is to be an example of patience, understanding, and forgiveness. I want to be an example of unconditional love. My son, as he went through his teenage years, he would get all upset, not wanting to tell me something.
Really creating a worst case scenario in his head. Then when he couldn't wait any longer and came to me with whatever it was, it was never a deal breaker. He would always feel so much relief and never understand why he waited so [00:06:00] long. Never was it the thing that would make me not love him or turn him out.
Usually there wasn't even a reason to give him a punishment or a consequence because he endured more self imposed than I ever would have given him. Usually not always. He got his share of consequences too, but they were never too hard to endure. And always my love was there with him. I did not always have these thoughts and these feelings.
I cultivated them. I started with working through the thoughts that I had exactly where they were. I would write some journals, but many times I would judge my thoughts and even start correcting them before I got them all wrote down. Then for a while, I used a video, a Marco Polo app, and I would say what I would have wrote down in the video on my way to work.
It was [00:07:00] just another tool. As I stopped judging myself for what I was thinking, it became so much easier to just journal. I give myself the gift of no judgment. I do not judge any thought that I have. I journal and completely dump all my thoughts out. Then I reread it and I highlight any bothersome or useless thoughts.
I do a thought model on these, asking myself how I feel when I think that thought. Is there anything I am doing, not doing or avoiding because of this feeling? Then I look for thoughts to replace it. Sometimes there's just a word or two to clean up. Sometimes I don't even replace the thought at all. I understand why I think it.
And if it isn't causing me to not show up the way I want, then I just allow the thought and the feeling. This routine has neutralized so many thoughts and feelings for me. When you look at your thoughts [00:08:00] curiously, instead of critically, you discover so much about yourself. I discovered in this process that I had relied on others for validation.
I wanted and needed their approval and praise. I still enjoy hearing those words, but I don't need them anymore. I am truly capable of creating that for myself. When I notice I am having those kinds of thoughts, I ask why I am wanting them to say that, or why do I want them to make me feel that way? It is amazing how easy it is to discover insecurities and fears that I never even realized I had before.
Fear and insecurity is normal. And like I said, sometimes there's peace just in the awareness and understanding, no need to change it. Then I say to myself, of course I feel this way because I am doing something [00:09:00] new or whatever the reason is. This quickly neutralizes the power I had and my brain normalizes that it happens.
Just part of humanity. I have cautioned before the power of the I am statement. This is a super powerful phrase. You should make sure that anything that follow those follows those two little words is absolutely true. And it's something that you desire. What the brain does is it believes whatever comes after the I am.
If it is not true, kind, and useful, then it still believes it. If you didn't completely believe the I am statement, then the brain starts looking for evidence to prove it. If you are casting hate and judgment in your I am statements, the brain will also start looking to prove that. You will begin believing those things.
See why I put a caution label on this? This is such important work that I have given it an entire [00:10:00] section on your daily planner. Yes, this is so important that I included three lines for three I am statements for you every single day. These may be the same sometimes or they may, they may change. Think of the planner as your place to speak truth into yourself and practice it.
Sometimes it is teaching you and sometimes it is reinforcing what you know. Sometimes I use it as what I would need to get through my day or specific events. I don't always speak a lot in this program about my Christian beliefs, but this is as good a time as any. In the beginning, I had to borrow what I know that the Bible says that God believes about me.
Then, as I stopped fighting my worth and found my value in his eyes, I could believe it for myself. When I started seeing that God has what he has seen all along, I even found the patience, forgiveness, and that [00:11:00] unconditional love for myself and for others. I said that I, um, I use the I am sometimes for what I need.
I love the Bible verses about the armor of God and have envisioned myself armoring for an event, like it was a battle and preparing my mind and heart for it. This may all be a little different for each person. Maybe you have done this your whole life and maybe it is completely new for you. Either way, this is important.
These are, there are a few tools I have mentioned and a few more I want to offer you. First is the daily plan. The I am section. Next, the process of journaling, either by pen and paper or by voice. I've mentioned in some early lessons, some mirror work. This is where you look at yourself in the mirror and say, I am statements or tell yourself, I love you because, and find three things you can look yourself in the eye and say, the mirror [00:12:00] work was so uncomfortable for me for a long time.
I remember catching myself the first time that I walked by a mirror and I smiled at myself. I thought that was crazy when I caught myself doing this. I always smile at other people in passing, but the first time I did it to myself blew my mind right open. There was a time I was in a store and I happened to see a reflection of someone in a glass mirror and thought that lady has gorgeous toned legs.
Wow. I was surprised when I saw that they were my own. I had such a disconnect of appreciation for myself. Another tool and one of my favorites is the I am app. You can set it up to give you affirmations throughout your day. When you are not used to speaking these truths into yourself, it is nice to get some help.
My watch sends me notifications and many times I have been working and the I am sends me a sentence [00:13:00] through my watch. One time it said something like, I am beautiful inside and out. I remember thinking, Oh, that is so sweet. Thank you. That has happened so many times that it really has lifted my spirit.
Sometimes I have Googled journal prompts and many times I just use that IAM app to give me one. I take the IAM statement or the journal prompt and I intentionally look for proof of it. Then I journal. Sometimes I am working on that idea and that is interesting too, what comes up. Can you imagine getting to Where you can intentionally on your own, lift yourself up, calm yourself down, and just be completely loving and comforting to yourself with a thought.
Your thoughts have so much importance, so much power. I can't wait until you live this and create this for yourself.[00:14:00]
All righty, okay. I have asked you guys, if you want to unmute, if you want to do that, if you want to start your video, you can do either of those things. All right. So as I get started here, is there anything anyone wants to comment that stood out for them? Or is there anything specifically someone would like coaching on?
I think, um, right now, those, the I am statements, it's like you said, that's kind of hard to, to do to sit there and think of positive things. I'm still struggling with that, um, one month into the program. So that's something I definitely need to work on because my mind immediately wants to go to a criticism and says something [00:15:00] positive about myself.
And so you just used the word need to, so anytime, which I totally agree that you should do this, but anytime you use that word need to, I want to ask you, why do you need to do this? Like, why do you see it as something you need to do? Well, I guess I want to be able to be in that mindset. I, I, maybe I should change my words.
Uh, I want to be able to look in the mirror and say, you know, I am, you know, confident and I am losing weight. So it's, it's a want, uh, but right now my mind just isn't quite trained yet because the first thing, when I look in the mirror, if I, or anytime, even if I pass a reflection, I can't even stand to look at my reflection sometimes, even in a, in a, even in a, a window I'm like, Oh God, you know?
Um, so it's still hard for me to, to find. [00:16:00] So, uh, you want to do this and as you get more comfortable doing it, it becomes more of a habit. You're saying things it's a little easier. What do you think that will do for you? I think it'll become easier for me to be in that mindset and think that way. Um, I think when I'm able to do this more, um, you know, I'll feel happier and a better mindset and be able to look at myself in a different way.
Yeah, it definitely shows a different light. It, um, you'll start to notice that as you start finding some of these, I am statements that you're a little more comfortable with. Um, you're not fighting it as much and, um, you don't get that embarrassed feeling whenever someone does give you a compliment or you say an, I am statement that feels like a compliment to It's so funny.
[00:17:00] Like we want to lose weight. Right. And then sometimes when people mention that you've lost weight and they notice it, it embarrasses you. And it's like, why would it embarrass you? Like it should be like, I have so much pride in what I've done. Of course I'm happy when they notice, but that's not how it is.
And it's because of that internal monologue that like those words that we say to ourselves. And so we want to go unnoticed or we, uh, You know, it's only okay to be noticed in certain situations. And then it has a lot to do with what our thoughts are in that moment about ourselves. And so the, I am statement is learning to be okay with yourself.
It's learning to accept yourself exactly as you are, but even more than that, find. Your strengths and find the things that are just so beautifully you and acknowledging that those are perfect in their own right [00:18:00] and they're exactly like what makes you you. So it's really amazing stuff. Um, Lana, did you want to add anything to that.
The only thing that I wanted to say was, if you
can tell yourself something positive. It stays with you all day instead of waking up and saying, I'm such an idiot, which I do frequently. And it stays with you all day too. Yes, and it stays with you all day. So if you just wake up and say something positive like, I feel great today. That kind of stays with you all day and it just changes your demeanor and your attitude.
And I've always said you make a choice to wake up happy. Or sad. And I try to wake up every day happy. So I just think kind of the first thought you have in the morning is the most [00:19:00] important. Yeah. Um, I definitely agree with that. Your thoughts get to set the tone for your feelings. And so I want to make sure that I say this, that there's nothing wrong with feeling sad or feeling happy.
And so. If you have a thought that creates sad feelings, you know, like if you lost someone dear to you, you're not going to wake up and just want to feel happy for that day, but you can manage your thoughts and feel the sadness and still have like some thought that. Even with the sadness feels motivating or maybe somehow uplifting, but there's nothing wrong with feeling the feeling of sadness.
Um, there's, I don't think I've actually talked about this much yet, but like there's something in our world that says everything should be rainbows and daisies all the time. And that we should always be [00:20:00] aspiring to being good and positive and, you know, feeling good and feeling our best. And some days you just.
Don't. And so that's why like, I kind of say that all the time about is that John Acuff statement that I say all the time about, is it useful? Is it kind? And is it true? And so if your thought that's creating whatever feeling is not those three things, then it's probably possibly that you need to change it.
Um, the other one is that, is this motivating you or de motivating, un motivating, whatever that. Little prefixes unmotivating, I think is the right one. So is it moving you towards your goal or away from your goal? And so like, I can feel sadness. I can feel overwhelmed sometimes even, and still go towards my goal.
And so if it's not, and it's like putting me. So in the beginning, here's a great example. In the beginning, I was losing weight pretty regularly. Things were clicking right along. [00:21:00] And then I kinda, I hate to use the word stalled out because it's not that my body stalled out. It was truly that my thoughts stalled out.
And so then I started thinking things like, Oh, this is so hard. I've never done it before. This is probably going to be one more thing to check off that I tried and didn't work. And like my thoughts just kind of went into the dump. And so like, there's nothing wrong with feeling a little discouraged, you know, but in that discouragement, if my thoughts were more like, well, something is not the right piece, let's figure it out, or, um, I am learning and I am figuring this out and I'm finding the next thing.
And in the moment I feel discouraged, it will quickly get me motivated to keep looking and figuring it out. And then it switches over to hope. So like in that moment, nothing was wrong with discouraged. As long as it didn't be like, Whoa, is me here? I am E or sitting on the ground doing [00:22:00] nothing and going nowhere.
But. Moving me towards my goal is entirely different. And so feeling any feeling is, is, um, part of the human experience, you know, there, we have that big basket full of all of those emotions. And so, um, they're all good,
but yeah, you definitely can set the tone for your day. Um, are either of you journaling yet?
I have not started journaling yet. No. Okay. And you both so are you assessing your plans each day? Yes. You're both journaling. So I loved that when the, um, when my mentor told me that because I. Really resisted the journaling. And so in, in the resisting of the journaling, [00:23:00] they said that assessing your plan is journaling.
So like you wrote what you were thankful for. You wrote some, I am statements. You wrote what was on your mind about what went well, or what, maybe you were some obstacles you were thinking about and you wrote what you were going to eat and what you actually ate. So like, that's a journal. All in itself.
And so once I got to that, I was like, Oh, that's kind of nice. I really grasped the journaling. Um, I feel like I'm an, I'm a doer. And so like, I wanted to do all the things to lose weight. And eventually I got to a place, uh, I know Bridget had to hop off. So it'll just be you and Eileen. I feel like this last little bit.
Oh no, she just didn't share a video. So, um, Like, Oh, I had to grasp the journaling because like I had done [00:24:00] all the things I could do. And then like, there was nothing left to do that. I could do better. And like the things I was doing to get them to be better, I had to make my thoughts better. Better. And so as my thoughts got better, that like things were easier and I was doing the things and I was capable of the things that's when it really started clicking for me.
So then I started looking for the journaling prompts that would get my brain in alignment with my thoughts to get the water in, to get my food, to like, to get me to stay on plan. And so as I had found journal prompts for. Like some of those topics, like when I found a journal prompt that might give you like one sentence and then you read the sentence and then you just started like writing the rest of what you thought about that, it would come up with any of my fears, my insecurities.
It would come up with anything that I was resistant about. So like with the. Like eating off [00:25:00] plan, a lot of the, I deserve it type thoughts were coming out for me when I started journaling and I didn't realize those were there until I started doing the journaling. Do you have any, um, uh, thought type things that you see that hold you back?
No. Okay. And, uh, have you, I think I asked you this already. Cause you told me about your phone. You're not using the I am app yet. Correct. If you're talking to me, correct. So, um, that I am app, it just gives me like a, a neat little. Thing each day. So that's what I was saying was sometimes I'll grab that.
Like, um, I think when we were coaching the other day, one came up on my watch and I told you what it was. And so like, I would just write it down and then I would [00:26:00] just read it for a second and let my brain think about like in my life, where does that, I am statement. Um, Like, what does it bring up for me?
Is it bringing up stuff I'm not doing? Is it bringing up stuff I'm working on or that I already am like I am those things. And then like really just explore what that one sentence meant to me. Um, do you ever feel like your brain, I said this at the beginning of this little video, we just watched that my brain, um, unmanaged sometimes was a bully over myself.
Do you ever feel like that? Yes. And like, I know you so you're not a bully to other people by any means, but like Isn't it funny how your brain can be such a bully to yourself? Yeah, it is. You'd never treat anyone else like that ever, never. [00:27:00] And then like, somehow we make it just okay to, to do that to ourselves.
Where, where do you find your brain being a bully at with technology, especially like that? I don't know how to do it. Are you going to figure it out? Yeah. What? So like, what I mentioned was like switching that bully into more of an unconditional love type thing. How, how could that thought in that situation about technology, how could that, could that Look more loving, some more unconditional type love there.
I would say just telling myself to try. And if I can't do it, find somebody [00:28:00] who can.
You've got, you've got a few people to ask. I know.
Alrighty. Well, that we finished up a little early today, unless you have anything else that you think we should add. I can't think of anything. Okay. Um, so the next zoom call is next week. The next group coaching is Tuesday, January 25th at 4 PM. So I will see you guys then. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
