2021:12:14 Why Can't I just write the damn plan? - Member
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[00:00:00] Hello, everybody. We are going to get started in just about two minutes.
See, someone's driving. Miss Karen is driving. Please be careful while you're driving, girl. All righty. And, oh, I think I see Jeff on here for the first time. So that'll be fun. This one is an open to the public call. So sometimes we have, uh, what, not sometimes weekly, we have group calls and the people that are in our membership, they will be in the group calls.
And then once a month we open to the public to be able to listen in on the group calls and participate, get some questions answered, that kind of thing. So we'll give it just one more minute and then we'll get started. We did open the membership back up. So, um, you'll always [00:01:00] start with the free membership that, um, you should be getting emails for, or on the website, coachingcara.
com. That will have also a link for the free course. And then, um, As you take that at the bottom, there is an opportunity on each one of them to sign up for the course. So the doors will close on December 30th and um, so you have till then to get signed up. Um, how our program is ran is you get one on one coaching, you get a weekly lesson for the first three months to be able to do some lessons like that, and then um, You've got your group topic.
So something like what we'll do today and then, uh, the group coaching. So you have the opportunity to have two coachings a week, a group and a one on one. And, um, we work exactly with where you are at this moment [00:02:00] and, um, whatever is important to you at this time is what we coach about. So if you have nothing, then I always have something to talk about.
So some of the girls can tell you that, but like, I will always have a billion questions I can ask you, whether you come to coaching with anything or not. So, all right, I'm going to get started. So the first thing we're going to do is we're going to watch a video. It's just a real short video and then, um, I'll pop back on and I'll ask you guys to unmute and we will have kind of a question answer conversation about it.
So I am still getting a little, I think I still have some room for improvement on getting this video started, but let me get that.[00:03:00]
Here
we go. There you go. Why can't I just write the damn plan? I will have stretches where it feels like everything is going as planned. I'm in a groove. I'm doing my planning and journaling. I'm I'm assessing and reassessing. I think that my goal is within reach. Every day I keep doing all the things and I'm feeling super motivated to keep it up.
Then something happens and I can't even start to write the damn plan. I know that it makes the rest of the day easier for me, and I love how I felt when I was doing it, but I just can't bring myself to write it. This has happened to me so many different times and it still does. It happens to many of my clients and it will probably happen to you too if it hasn't already.
Instead of beating [00:04:00] yourself up and really indulging in the shame train, first acknowledge that it is normal. You don't always feel like, I don't know, brushing your teeth or showering regularly maybe either. But if you missed a day, it wouldn't be for many days. You may be saying that there is a huge difference between planning meals and routine hygiene.
You might be thinking of all the consequences of forgoing that regular hygiene. I won't paint a picture for you. You can do that yourself, but we can both agree. It wouldn't be nice for very long. The same happens when you are not planning. Maybe instead of stinking up the place, you are stinking up your mind.
You are indulging in confusion. I don't know what to plan. Indulging in procrastination. I'll start planning tomorrow or on Monday. Maybe you are indulging in the shame. If I just let myself feel some of this shame of not writing the plan, then I won't feel the judgment of not [00:05:00] following my plan a hundred percent.
There are so many other indulgent feelings. This is called buffering. Usually I talk about buffering with food. When you don't want to feel something so you eat to distract yourself. Not planning, you're actually buffering with other thoughts and judgments. that are keeping you from just planning.
Thoughts, little sneaky ones that justify why you aren't planning. These usually are surface level thoughts. You see, it is so important to manage your mind or it will manage you. Typically the thoughts are something just a little deeper. Um, I am afraid of being a failure. I I've thought that one many times.
I am just never going to be good at this. I told you I couldn't do it. If I make a decision, then I am going to have to do something about it. Change is uncomfortable and has no assurance it is even worth [00:06:00] it. I'm not worth the time and effort to figure this out. A lot of people think I'm supposed to feel ashamed and guilty to get me to do this, right?
My plans aren't healthy enough. They're not good enough, and I'm not going to be able to lose weight with them. I already feel overwhelmed with life. This is just another task to do, or maybe just another task to do that I won't do right. I should do it, but I don't really want to. So now I ask you, why are you not writing your plans consistently?
Are you not wanting to follow them? Are you not wanting to commit to yourself, your goals or the plan? Are you not wanting to fail? These are all self limiting thoughts. They allow you to sit in, in action, moving you away from your goals. Each time you choose not to plan and think one of these thoughts, you are making [00:07:00] well worn grooves as habits.
The deeper the groove, the more energy and intention it will take to make a change. You will have to have a thought that is so powerful it can overcome that well worn thought that that you had been believing. You can decide what you believe by thinking the thoughts that serve you. If the thought brings you closer to your goal, well then that's a useful thought.
Some of these thoughts you have been believing feel true. So you may need to ladder some thoughts until you believe the new thoughts. For example, if I said your new thought was going to be that you were a master at planning and know exactly what to put on the menu, that you love to eat, uh, foods that, that taste delicious, and you know how to prepare them, that you create menus that help you lose weight the fastest.
You may not believe that. Or maybe menu planning is so quick and easy. Maybe that's a thought that sends you [00:08:00] throwing up objections. So instead of trying to convince yourself of some airy fairy tale that it is easy or that you are good at it and you want to do it. You can try some latter thoughts. First know why you even want to do it or why you would want to try to do it.
See what I did there? If you were not convinced you could do it, maybe it feels more doable to try it. That is the latter thought. With each thought, you would gain some kind of conviction, some kind of confidence that it is possible. This might look something like, um, if you were thinking, uh, you are not wanting to be restrained by a plan, or you want more freedom, you could start with, uh, maybe you could start I could pick something easy from a list I make.
I am willing to plan my breakfast lunches this week. Those are simple. I am going to just plan four [00:09:00] dinners to choose from this week. I can always plan a couple alternatives for this meal. I could do that. I plan things. I enjoy eating and pay attention to how much and how often my body likes having them to still lose weight.
Okay. If you are not wanting to fail at following a plan, maybe your ladder would look like I can make a plan even if I don't follow it perfectly. Okay. I am planning food that are easy to follow. Even if I don't lose weight the fastest, I can follow the plan. or just this meal for today. I am following the plan most of the time.
I do not have to do any of it perfect. I just have to do something. Maybe if you are not feeling [00:10:00] worthy of the time or effort the planning takes, maybe it would be my family want me healthy. I can see how me planning foods and losing weight would benefit my family. People are worthy of having their needs met.
I am a person and my current need is whatever it is. I am worth the time and effort to do what I desire. So yeah, if you can't get to that last thought, then you might have some in between any kind of thought that starts with, I'm open to, I possibly could to I'm willing to try to, I will start with two. I can do this.
Those would all be like some progressions of ladder thoughts. And there's so many more. So these are ladder thoughts that you may want a few more or a few less rungs in your particular ladder. [00:11:00] Write out a progression of thoughts that you think would get you to the one that makes it easy to make your plan, where you really want to make your plan.
Like everything else, it is important to celebrate your wins. All of them. When you make even a partial plan or you eat what you plan, Even if it is just the breakfast, you celebrate it. Acknowledge that you planned it and you made it happen. You are the solution to all of this. You just have to give yourself permission to do it as imperfectly as it'll happen to be.
When you do not judge, shame, or indulge in thoughts or feelings. then you will not ever be pulled away from your goal. As long as you do not quit, then you did not fail. Find the one thing you did do and acknowledge that was the part of the journey that you were working on, that you learned, that you [00:12:00] mastered in that moment.
Keep learning and moving your way to your goals at whatever pace, however, that looks for you. Okay.
Alrighty, if you guys want to unmute and then We will talk about that a little bit. So, has anybody besides me had any kind of issue where they don't want to write the damn plan. I see Karen, I see the. Yes. And so, like, like I said, I see Gina's hand go up. It's like, you know, it is the best thing. Like, I feel great when I'm doing it.
And then I just can't get myself to do it. Right. So in the program, we, we have a couple of people on here. This is a public call. So some of you [00:13:00] guys are in the group and some are from the public. So, um, I'm going to explain this a little bit, but like, In the program, I teach a lot about how your program or your program, how your thoughts motivate you.
And so if your thoughts are not motivating you, they're pulling you away from your, from your goal. And so to get you to write the damn plan, you have to find some kind of thought. that motivates you. So it might be your reason why, it might be something, it might just be kind of an encouraging thought. It could be anything.
So does anybody want to share a thought that they use that motivates them?
We just talked, um, Half hour ago and my granddaughter. So how is your granddaughter going to motivate [00:14:00] you? Um, she does cheer competitions and they seem the last one and the one coming up Saturday are at the convention center in Indianapolis. And so there's a lot of walking to do to even get to where She's going to be and from the parking garage to the convention center.
And anyway, motivating me to move more to be able to, with her and her. Okay. So I'm going to pick on you for just a second. So your granddaughter cannot actually motivate you. It's your thoughts that can motivate you. So what thought about your granddaughter is motivating you?
To be there that she wants you to be there. So [00:15:00] your granddaughter wants you to be there. And, um, I know that you were using that to help you instead of writing the damn plan. It's helping you to get your few times a week of exercise in. And so, um, so that, that thought about your granddaughter wanting you to be there is the thought that's helping you want to do the exercise.
Yes, and not be a burden to the parent so that they will allow me to go. Yeah, so if you don't mind me to keep using you for an example for a second. I hear a child. So if somebody is around a child maybe let's mute you.
There we go. Thanks, Karen. So I'm going to pick on you for just another second longer, Lana, if you don't mind. So your thought that motivates you is that your [00:16:00] granddaughter wants you there, right? So if you don't do the workout, then one of the things that you're going to need to say is, by not doing this, by choosing to not do this workout, what am I actually saying no to?
And so, like, the why Was your granddaughter wanted you to be there and you had, we could have explored it a little more, your granddaughter wanted you to be there and you want to be there for your granddaughter would probably be your thoughts, but if you chose now not to do the workout, what are you saying no to?
I feel like or I would feel like I'm saying no to my granddaughter. So you're saying no to your granddaughter you're saying no to being able to go to her competitions and keep up and be able to be there. You talked about being earlier you talked about being able to breathe. While you're walking from one end of the Of the place to the other.
So, um, [00:17:00] so those would be some things that you'd be saying no to. So like, um, we had somebody in the program who was not writing the damn plan. And so a lot of my topics come from things that people need to hear that are in the program currently. And so, um, I have a whole list of things that I would love to talk to you guys about, and And then as somebody has something that comes up, I just change everything and we get what is more relevant in the moment.
And so somebody was having a hard time with writing their plans. So we started some accountability and we send the plans to, um, this group Slack channel thing that we use. And so, um, it gives you that accountability. And then with getting them to write the plan, we had to figure out why were they not wanting to write the plan.
And with this particular person that I'm talking about, they had, um, not wanted to feel the failure of not getting everything perfect. [00:18:00] And so, um, it prevented them from even starting with anything. So like, if you do nothing, then you get none of it. And so I had to explain, like, When you don't want to feel the failure of not getting that plan perfect, you're already failing because you quit.
You quit on yourself and you never wrote the plan. So it's a hundred percent failure versus maybe I got Or I got 80 percent of it, like whatever it is, you totally did not give yourself any room to grow. So that was really eyeopening for me. Um, let's see, we have Bridget is in the chat. She's joining us for the first time today.
Just starting her journey. She says, I found out I was pre diabetic. So this has scared me. I don't want to develop some of the issues that come with diabetes and I care for my parents and need to stay [00:19:00] healthy for them. Okay. So that is really interesting. So, um, There are so many people in our program that have some type of medical concern, and they're working on trying to either get off medication, a lot of them have knee pain, and they're trying to just be able to get on and off the floor with kids or grandkids without having knee pain, um, being able to enjoy retirement.
There's lots and lots of different reasons that bring people, and so those really, are going to be your whys. So just kind of like we're talking about, why do you want to create the plan? Like, why would you want to keep doing things? All those motivators. And so like with the diabetes, like hopefully at some point you're no longer pre diabetic.
And so having a whole basket full of different reasons why you want to do this plan, Is so, so important because when you're no longer pre diabetic, you want to make sure that you still have a whole slew of other reasons. So now [00:20:00] pre diabetes would come to that. I don't want to go back to being pre diabetic, but as you keep coming up with more wise, so Lana was so nice to share with us, um, what her why and some of her thoughts with that was.
And so like she had a whole bunch of wise to start with. And as those have kind of fallen away, she doesn't, Have them as her kind of motivating why anymore. So creating a new why will get her to be able to keep going. Okay. Let me see if there was anything else. All right. Was there anything anybody kind of grasped that they were like, Oh, that's something that would be a great takeaway.
Um, or I wanted to write that down so I don't forget it. Okay. And anybody have any questions for me before we're finished for today?
Alrighty. So again, um, we have opened the doors to the program, the program, [00:21:00] every single person starts with the free course. It's a five day free course, and we start there. So now that the doors are open to be able to sign up, the button is at the bottom of those emails that should have started coming today.
And, uh, you can save your place. I'm only going to take just, um, a smaller number of people. I like to work really one on one and close, um, with the group. And so I do not have large groups, um, on purpose. And so, um, if that is something you want to do, make sure that you grab your spot so that, uh, you get.
You get that. Um, I'm seeing, uh, Gina. She's, she's fun. She's one of our fun ones. And she's like, I like a lot of attention. So she is not an attention girl. Um, but anyway, so she, she and everyone gets one on one attention each week and they also get a group coaching session. So this can be a group coaching session.
So sometimes we just reiterate some stuff. Sometimes it's [00:22:00] question answer kind of thing. All of that is great. Um, and then you kind of get whatever randomness I said, but you also get the weekly lesson and the topic that I present at the group session. Your one on one coaching is totally tailored for whatever is going on with you at the time.
Um, this includes all of your worksheets and all of the stuff. Um, one of the things I think I just slightly mentioned was there's channel and the Slack channel has a group texting type feature if you're not familiar with Slack and it also has direct messaging. So like if you had a specific question for me or you're specifically wanting to just send your plan to me or your way in sheet or whatever it is, it would be for my eyes only.
So there's two different versions there, but it's really nice because we get to celebrate each other's wins in that way. Slack channel. We get to kind of like remind each other during the holidays. We kind of put some things on there to be able to talk to each other and keep each other motivated during the holidays.
So that is what I have [00:23:00] going on for you. And so if you need to get in on the free course, it is coaching care. com forward slash free course. And that will get you signed up for the free course if you are not already. So, um, I do the free, um, public. Zoom once a month. And so now that you're on the email list, you should get the reminders of when that is.
And then for the people that are in the membership, they get that weekly. So if there are no more questions, then we will call it a day. Thank you all. Bye.
