09:36:03 Hey, hey! Welcome back to the Concierge Weight Loss Podcast. I am your coach.
09:36:09 Hopefully your favorite real talk friend, Kara Hackleman. In today's episode is going to change the way you think about success.
09:36:17 This is week 3 of our Mindset for Success series. And let me just say, this one might be the most freeing yet.
09:36:25 Because today we're talking about something that messes with so many of us.
09:36:29 Tying your success to the number on the scale. I know, it feels like the most important thing.
09:36:36 We've been told it's the proof that we're doing what is working.
09:36:40 Uh, we've built entire identities around chasing smaller numbers, but if you're constantly asking, why am I doing everything right and the scale isn't moving?
09:36:51 Then friend, this episode is exactly what you need to hear.
09:36:54 Because you might be making more progress. Than ever. You just haven't learned how to see it yet.
09:37:01 Let me tell you about my favorite… some of my favorite wins, and not one of them really.
09:37:06 Truly in the win involves. The number on the scale. So.
09:37:10 Not eating the chips and salsa? When I went out to dinner with some girlfriends.
09:37:15 Um, giving myself a compliment without explaining it away. Or when someone else gives me a compliment and not explaining it away. Huge win.
09:37:24 Um, this one sounds like it's on the scale, but it's not.
09:37:27 I did lose 4 pounds over the summer. But, the win is… I realized I had done it while overeating.
09:37:37 50% of the month. And still making progress.
09:37:40 That is a win. There must be something I'm doing better, even if I'm… overeating 50% of the time.
09:37:47 Uh, using my habit tracker consistently, and actually seeing. That 50% of the month.
09:37:54 Where I could clean up, uh, without guilt. So, no guilt. The scale wasn't just one piece of it.
09:38:03 It's… it is just one piece of it, because there's so many pieces.
09:38:08 That you can consider. But those other things, they are what showed me I was learning. It showed me where. It was showing me I was growing.
09:38:17 I was becoming a woman. Figures it out.
09:38:21 Before coaching, I thought success meant following my plan, following it perfectly.
09:38:27 Losing weight every week, you know, we're told. It's almost like we were guaranteed a half a pound to two pounds if we do it right.
09:38:34 Proving I could do it the right way. Follow the plan, right? And when that didn't happen, I made it mean I was failing.
09:38:43 I was a failure. Now? I have totally redefined it. Totally. Success for me.
09:38:52 Means not giving up. Learning from my patterns.
09:38:57 Celebrating when I don't finish my plate, because I finally noticed.
09:39:03 Showing up even when the scale isn't moving. That's hard, right? When scale's not moving, we're like, ugh, it doesn't matter anyway.
09:39:10 One of my clients started using a habit tracker. She wasn't losing weight as fast as she wanted, but we looked at the data and saw something powerful.
09:39:20 She had consistently made a plan. She was drinking more water all the time.
09:39:26 She started going to bed even earlier. Most of the time, she was getting her sleep in every night.
09:39:31 And she was definitely overeating. Less. Not all of it.
09:39:36 But, like, she was definitely overeating less. And she was showing up with more compassion for herself than she had ever before.
09:39:44 She was building habits that would support her health. For life. And that is a non-scale victory.
09:39:51 Most people miss, because they're too focused on the number. When she stopped fixating on that outcome and started noticing her efforts.
09:40:00 Everything changed. And I can tell you, she's human, so in the beginning, she thought that she wasn't doing anything right. After some coaching, we talked about all the things she was doing right, which is why it's amazing to have that habit tracker information.
09:40:13 Because we could see she is doing the things! So, she had to stop fixating on that one only outcome.
09:40:23 Alright, let's go over a few non-scale victories I want you to start looking for.
09:40:27 Are your clothes fitting differently? Maybe your pants are a little looser, easier to zip up or down, they're more comfortable. I always noticed it in my bras.
09:40:35 My bras and my pant lines. Um, maybe awareness, noticing.
09:40:40 Just noticing your thoughts. That you have some crappy thought that comes up, or.
09:40:45 That you have some excuse that you hear, or you're noticing what a hunger cue feels like. Maybe you're noticing your emotions.
09:40:54 You have a name for your emotion. And you're noticing, your awareness for your habits.
09:41:00 In real time. Because maybe you even heard the argument in your head about whether or not you wanted to do it, whether or not it was important.
09:41:06 Whether or not it mattered. Uh, three, how you talk to yourself.
09:41:12 So, a non-scale victory, how you talk to yourself. Less harsh, more supportive.
09:41:18 Uh, for leaving a bite or two behind. Honestly. It's listening to that enoughness and being willing.
09:41:25 To try to see if you could leave it behind. Deal with anything that your brain's trying to tell you it doesn't matter. Two bites isn't a big enough deal.
09:41:34 You've earned it, you're missing out on those last two bites, all that stuff, right?
09:41:40 That is a huge non-scale victory, leaving two bites behind. And five, trying again after a hard day. So, a hard day, that's resilience in action right there, because.
09:41:51 Maybe you messed up. Maybe you just were exhausted because of whatever happened for the day.
09:41:56 But trying again, um… Last episode, I talked about… er, I don't remember which one it was, I talked about saving the day, it's never too late to save the day.
09:42:05 So, trying again after a hard day. That is a huge non-scale victory. These matter more than the scale ever could.
09:42:13 Um, another client had a huge win that had nothing to do with food.
09:42:18 She had been working on relationships. It was, um, some family relationships, some… a spouse.
09:42:24 Um, I think we talked a little bit about some co-worker kind of relationships.
09:42:28 Um, so she'd been working on some relationships, and she realized she was constantly.
09:42:34 Trying to take ownership of how others felt or behaved. Like, it was her job to… manage everyone else's feelings, or how everyone else behaved.
09:42:44 She thought she had to make everyone around her feel okay.
09:42:49 All the time. You know, because we're people pleasers at heart, right?
09:42:52 So, through our work, she started noticing it. Just noticing it.
09:42:56 She started pausing before she would react. Before she would take all the blame on, or before she would respond to them, or over-respond to them, right? Overreact.
09:43:06 And instead of making their emotions her responsibility, she asked herself.
09:43:12 Do I like how I showed up. Would I have done anything different?
09:43:16 That was a huge shift, and it bled over into her health.
09:43:20 Into her weight loss, because she stopped people-placing with food and started trusting her choices.
09:43:27 If you're turning to food when. You're happy, or when you're turning to food because.
09:43:33 Someone else around you is not happy. You're probably overeating, so… she just started trusting her choices, and that definitely affected her food. She wasn't needing to overeat anymore.
09:43:44 Uh, to fill in the gaps. Of where those relationships were.
09:43:49 So here are a few sneaky ways the scale still defines our worth.
09:43:54 Even when we think we've moved past it. Uh, maybe you say, I'll feel more attractive when I'm… however many pounds, or you've lost however many pounds.
09:44:05 Um, maybe you say, once I'm down 10 pounds, I'll go on that vacation, or I'll go on that hike, or… Uh, we can go swimming in the pool, or whatever it is.
09:44:16 Um, at my goal weight. I will be more confident, more motivated, and more lovable.
09:44:23 Right? Who wants to wait till then to be loved? But none of that is true. Confidence doesn't come from the scale. It comes from the way you treat yourself now, what you think of yourself now.
09:44:35 It comes from the actions you take, the choices you make, and that mindset that you're building.
09:44:41 Here it is. Success is not giving up. While you keep learning and trying until you find what works.
09:44:51 Success is not giving up! While you keep learning and trying until you find what works.
09:45:00 That's success. It's the not giving up. It doesn't have to be perfect, it doesn't have to get you straight to your goal.
09:45:07 It's… you're learning, and you're trying to find out what works. That's what success is. It's not giving up.
09:45:14 It's not sexy, it's not flashy, it's… sustainable. And guess what? It's peaceful.
09:45:20 And it can be yours. The truth is, the number on the scale will go down as a byproduct of doing these things.
09:45:28 Consistently. But even if it doesn't… do it the way you want, or as fast as you want.
09:45:35 You're still winning. Here's what I encourage my clients to track each week.
09:45:40 Well, actually, that's not true. Some of these, I say, just keep tracking them, and some are each week.
09:45:45 So, your measurements. When I start with a new client, I want you to take all your measurements.
09:45:50 And so, I always have a paper, it shows you, like, where to take the measurement at, so that you can keep tracking it.
09:45:56 Um, sometimes the scale's not moving, but your body is, like, reconstituting itself, and the measurement is amazing.
09:46:04 Um, photos. Nobody wants to do these, I can tell you. Like, put something on where I can actually see your body. I'm not telling you to take nudes or anything, just… you know, maybe you put your stretchy pants on so that it's kind of fitted to your body, or you put a tank top on, or…
09:46:18 Whatever you want to do, something that you can see your shape of your body, so that then, as you.
09:46:24 Take these again. And I like measurements and photos every month, especially as you're consistently.
09:46:30 Like, starting out trying to see any noticeable differences. Measurements and photos each month will be amazing for you to be able to track.
09:46:39 Changes. Habit consistency, this is a daily thing I like. I like for you to track your habits daily, and I share some basic habits. Did you make a plan?
09:46:49 Did you assess your plan at the end of the day with what you actually had? Did you follow your plan?
09:46:55 Did you only eat when you were hungry, or did you stop it enough? Did you get your water? Did you get your sleep? Like, there's… I don't remember how many I have, but.
09:47:03 There's some that help people see where they're making progress at, and those I ask them to track every day.
09:47:10 Um, some people aren't big journalers, but I love when you just write yourself a quick little note.
09:47:16 Anything about, like, your awareness, or your breakthroughs. So, what did I notice this week?
09:47:22 As I was trying to lose weight, what did I notice?
09:47:24 That's great for where you write down what you learned, or what you want to try next time.
09:47:29 What did I try? Even if it didn't work perfectly, give yourself credit for your efforts.
09:47:35 Man, I tried… I heard this a long time ago. If you knew it was gonna take 100 times.
09:47:42 Of failing before you succeeded. Wouldn't you just be ready to get started to get towards the hundred times of trying, right?
09:47:49 And so, we don't know if it's the third try or the 99th try.
09:47:54 We just know that we have to keep trying if we want things to work, right?
09:47:59 We have to keep trying, we can't give up. And so, giving yourself lots of credit, track what did I try this week.
09:48:07 It helps you know things you have tried. It also lets you know what hasn't, and you get to totally give yourself credit.
09:48:13 For just trying some things. Because what gets tracked.
09:48:18 It gets noticed. And that. What gets noticed can be celebrated. I love that part. I love… When people can tell me those kind of things, because we can celebrate them big.
09:48:30 That gold star, it does something to our psyche, even when we're no longer in preschool.
09:48:36 It tells us, like, I did something, and I noticed it. It was noticed. It was important enough to notice.
09:48:43 So, that can be celebrated. Um, this week, a little journal prompt for you. This week, ask yourself, where have I made progress that has nothing to do with the scale?
09:48:55 Where have I made some progress? Um, and then ask yourself, what would success look like if it wasn't about a number?
09:49:03 So, write it out, name it, claim it. Um, usually what would success look like if it wasn't about a number? Some people will write about their habits.
09:49:11 Some people will write about things that they're able to do.
09:49:17 Um, how they feel, what their day looks like. Uh, all kinds of things, what success would look like if it wasn't about a number on a scale.
09:49:27 You are already successful. You are. If you are listening to this, this is a success.
09:49:33 You cared enough to turn it on and hear it. Because you're here, you're trying, and you haven't given up.
09:49:40 Let's stop letting a little machine, a scale. Tell us if we're winning. Because success is in your awareness, it's in your consistency and self-compassion, your tenacity.
09:49:52 And your willingness to keep going. You are doing better than you think.
09:49:57 If you are ready to feel successful without obsessing over the scale, I've got two great next steps for you.
09:50:04 Join the free webinar. I'll teach you what works, what doesn't, and how to build success without burning out.
09:50:11 Go to CoachingCARA.com forward slash sign up. If you want to personalize help, that is what I do. I am a coach. I help you.
09:50:21 Lose weight. Book a free solutions call, and we'll figure out your next step together.
09:50:26 Coachingcara.com forward slash free call. So, P.S. You've made more progress.
09:50:33 Then the scale will ever show. Let's celebrate all of it!
09:50:37 See you next week for episode 4, Mindset Shifts for Staying Consistent. It's gonna be good!
