2023 - 2:15 Fb Live Believing w:o How & Pivoting Audio Podcast
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[00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to the concierge weight loss podcast. My name is Kara Hackleman, and I'm a certified life and weight loss coach. I help people just like you lose weight for the last time. Are you a little people pleasing, a little procrastinating, and maybe a little perfectionistic? Do you eat when you are not even necessarily hungry?
I can help you overcome that so you can finish losing weight and get out of your own way. Join me each week to get a little motivation and a lot of inspiration. Good morning. So I post these every week in my podcast on the blog so that you can rewatch them. And if you're watching it after the fact, then I am Kara Hackleman.
I am a certified life and weight loss coach. I am the owner of concierge weight loss, and I Want to tell you I have a free gift for you at the end. So stay tuned. [00:01:00] Listen to the end and Grab that gift today. I'm talking about pivoting and not just pivoting but Believing that you're gonna have your weight loss believing it happens before you even know how to do it All of these ideas are coming from something I am learning in my business side of things.
And it just is like, I didn't even realize some of it was happening or it had happened in the weight life in my personal weight loss. So I'm like, I have to share this with you. It is, it is amazing stuff. I didn't even realize it. And so I have to share this with you. So when you are creating your weight loss goal, you're creating the weight loss goal and you pick a number, whatever it is, and you have no idea how to get there.
And so in getting there, you're thinking, what do I have to do? And I am the queen of do. I want to do as many things. I know that doing is in my nature. wheelhouse. I [00:02:00] can, I get stuff done. That's, that's kind of how I've been described before, is I get stuff done. So, when I have to think differently to get that to happen, sometimes I have huge, huge resistance.
And I have a couple coach friends who have, uh, recently coached me and they, uh, And they, they will tell you that I have huge resistance. I think for an hour and a half I said, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. And so when you stop and think about what do you know, it changes things. It's totally different.
So this is where it happens at. You have a thought, this is what your goal is. So like you don't even create anything until you have a thought about what you want. So what you want is going to be your goal. Then you're like, I have no idea how to do that. So you seek me out, right? You seek me or some other weight loss program and you do all the [00:03:00] things that they tell you to do.
right? So the difference between a weight loss program and me is that they have pre decided what you need to do step by step. I am going to listen to you and hear what your body is telling you, what you're feeling, how your body reacts, and then we're going to work on specifically the thoughts in your head, your habits, And as we do that, then weight loss happens.
So you have this thought, I am going to lose weight. Maybe you have a number attached to it. I am going to weigh 160 pounds. And so whatever it is, um, and that's, that's the one that I want. So we'll just stick with that today. Okay, so 160 pounds. That's what I want to weigh. And that is my dream. That is my goal.
So the difference is, is that in the past, I have weighed 180, 90, [00:04:00] 230, all the numbers. And I do not remember when I was young, how I ate to be 160 pounds or even when I was younger. And so, and my body's different now. So even that is completely different. And in that, you cannot draw completely from your past to figure out how to have a future.
Let that sink in a second. If everything you do to get to your goal weight comes from things you've tried in your past, you're not going to get to goal weight. And the reason why we say that is because you're not at goal weight. You have not been maintaining. a goal weight in that number. So you are going to look for something new.
And so with new, what we're doing is we're looking to our future. And this one's going to sound a little woo woo. I call it crunchy granola socks and sandals, you know, like we're [00:05:00] gonna be a hippie group or something, you know. But when you start to understand that if you believe that you've done it, Then the rest is just a matter of like doing it.
And so the doing it is not a problem. And we think, I think I need to know how to do this. I need to know what to do. And the doing is going to be the easiest part of the whole thing. So as we're looking at our future and we've had this thought, right? I'm going to weigh 160 pounds. That's what I want. Well, here's the thing.
Your future self is also you. And you are her. So what we're gonna do is we're gonna look at her and say, Kara, what did you do to, to weigh 160 pounds? And then I'm going to say, this is what I did. And at this moment, I'm imagining what she did. And the thing is, is it's kind of giving yourself that. [00:06:00] It would be like a back to the future moment, right?
So we're giving our, ourself this beautiful advice and we take it because it came from herself. And so I'm asking her, what did you do to lose weight? And she tells me, and then sometimes she tells me, don't worry about it. Um, And so I heard someone say that they tapped into their future self one time and what should I do?
And her future self told her to go take a walk. I was like, that is beautiful. And so what that does is it tells me that it's not a big deal. So once you've already done it, you don't have drama. You don't have all this high, you know, energy. That's coming about telling you that it's hard or that you don't know or that you don't understand Because you've already done it.
And so you're like, yeah, I did some things and like it's not as big of a deal So in knowing that when you're completely future focused you're [00:07:00] looking at Yourself in the future to find out what to do now Part of it is you got to think what is she thinking? Like, what is she thinking? Well, she thinks that she's just a person who weighs 160 pounds And so When you bring those thoughts in on it, that's when it starts to become pretty magical.
So like if your future self is thinking, uh, I'm always afraid, I'm always afraid I'm going to gain my weight back. Well, they're probably going to gain their weight back. Right? So when you are picking your future self to ask questions to pick the best version that you can imagine, right? So I'm imagining my future self has Easily five, 10 years had maintained her weight loss goal.
So easily five, 10 years, I've weighed 160 pounds. And so like she's so far removed from the process of losing weight. She's not afraid of regaining it. Cause she has the confidence that she hasn't. So there's [00:08:00] nothing to worry about anymore. So I'm like, well, what are you doing? Like, what are you doing in your day to day life?
Right. And so, I want to know that. And then as I see that, I can start putting that into my life. So ask her, what has she already done? Like, what does she, what should she, what should you do now that she already knows? Cause she's already done it. And so with that, I love this idea. When you become so future focused, You're not even worried about all the things to do now.
You're looking at it, and you're seeing them, and you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just doing, like I'm just going to that. Right? It would be like if you were going to run, You're gonna run across the yard and all of a sudden, like, a dog comes running in front of you. You're just gonna pivot, right? You're gonna just run or jump around the dog, whatever you're gonna do, but you're just gonna keep running.
You're in a race and you got to get to the other side [00:09:00] faster than the other guy. Whatever it is. And weight loss is not a race. Weight loss is not faster than the other guy. But in saying that, my point is you're just gonna pivot. You're gonna pivot. It's not gonna be a big deal. As I'm thinking this, I'm envisioning like a stream or like a rushing river, some water that's flowing and tree branches and rocks and things like that.
They go and they land in the stream. The water doesn't be like, I can't get around this. It just flows. It just pivots. It flows around it. If it can't flow around it, it goes over it. If it really can't go over it and build up enough force, it's just going to push it out of its way. Water is just going to go around.
It's not even going to be a big deal. So when you are so focused on your future on that, I, I, this has already happened in my future. I just am getting there. Like it's, it's inevitable. I'm just doing the things now to catch up with that person, right? She's already done it. She knows I can do it. [00:10:00] It's just doing it.
And so then none of the do matters because you're going to just do the things that are her and you become her. You already are her and now you're going to do the things that she does. Does that all make sense? If it doesn't, I really do mean this. Email me, DM me something, and make, uh, make me understand, not make me understand, help me so that I can help you understand the part that you're missing on that.
When you are so future focused, you are doing everything that is her because you are already her. You're just catching up with the time. And so you get her as your Sounding board. What did I do? Like, what did you do when you were me? Like, what did we do? And start using that. Like, what did we do? Like, what did you do?
What did we do? What am I going to do? And like, like, what am I doing now? Like, and it's [00:11:00] like, think of it, like it's already happened and it's already turned out. for all of your good, all of your good. It's already happened. And so as you're doing that, you just start pivoting. Things are not obstacles.
Things are like thrown in there. And like, it's a blink. You don't even notice it anymore. You're like, yeah, I had an overeat today. Uh, it just, you know, it just happened. And then you just keep going. It's not like I had an overeat and I'm so terrible. I can't do this. I'm going to binge now at, you know, cause that makes it all better.
And so we're going to binge and then we're going to be off and then we're going to have to start again on Monday. We're not doing any of that. It's like, yup, it was just something that fell in the water. I just went around it. I had a, I had an overeat or, um, the scale didn't move this week, but full steam ahead.
It's happening. You know, my future self has already had it happen. So I know it's going to happen. If it's not today, it's next week. It's the week after whatever it is, it's happening. And you just don't even. worry as much [00:12:00] about the how and it's just the let's go. Let's do this. Let's go. Because it's already been told to you.
It's happened. It has happened in your future and you're just doing it. So I am a little bit, uh, on fire if you haven't noticed with this thinking. So, um, I want to make sure that I don't forget anything because these are powerful words. Um, all right. So how do you do that? So. Really what you're doing is you're believing before you know.
So like, if I tell you that you learned how to drive a car, you're going to believe me because you already know that you know how to drive a car, right? If I tell you that you have lost all of your weight and maintained it for 10 years, you're going to look at me and be like, um, but I haven't. And so I'm not saying that today you weigh.
160 or whatever [00:13:00] your goal weight is. What I'm saying is, is that you can believe that's it, that it's as good as done. Your future self has already figured it all out. And so if you are her and she is you, you share all of the same DNA, all of the same body. She just happens to have already witnessed how it happened.
You are as good as there. She's already figured it out and you're just catching up with her. So in that we're going to work on our belief. We're going to believe that it has happened before it happens. And so, as we believe, you're going to start writing down what is she thinking? Like, what is her life like?
What is she thinking? What is she doing? How is she feeling? Get very, very, very specific with this. As you're doing it, I want you to do this every day. Write down, every single day, what it is that that goal weight self is thinking and doing. What is she [00:14:00] feeling? How is things happening? Maybe something's going on in your life and you're like, how did you handle this?
Just write it down. How did you think that your best version of yourself that's already done it in the future? How did she do it? And you know what? She might not have even done it. Perfect. Like perfect is just not even important anymore. When you know it's for sure going to happen when you know it's for sure.
You're like, it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to get done. And so as you're thinking, it just has to get done. You're like, we're doing it. It's just happening. So envision. So write down what she's thinking, how she's feeling, what she's doing, how she's handled this already. And maybe you give yourself like some support, like your future self is saying like, Hey, today's going to be a tough day.
And yeah, I remember it being kind of tough. And guess what? You did it. You, you, you handled it. It happened, and like now, like I barely even remember it anymore. [00:15:00] And so like give yourself the pep talk that you, you get from your future self, right? And then envision exactly what does her life look like? How would she handle this now that she's already done it one time before?
What is she doing differently? Like, why is it not a problem for her anymore? And like start to step into that. So really think about it, write it down. envision exactly what her life looks like because this is you. And so this isn't you dreaming. This is like you've already dreamt that you're going to weigh this and now five, 10 years of maintaining it.
What is your life looking like? What is it that's filling your day? What lights you up? What excites you? And I'm not asking you, what food are you eating? I mean, that might be part of it, but like we assume if we're still living, we're going to be eating food. So that's not the most important part of this.
How are you living? Who's in your life? What are your relationships? What are you enjoying? How is your day structured so that you get the [00:16:00] best of every day? You aren't saving the weekends for the best and then trying to recover just to come back to work. Every day is gorgeous. Every day is wonderful and you created it.
So what did you do to create that? Ask yourself these questions. Do this every day. That's how you start believing. As you do this, you're going to start looking for evidence. As you're doing this, you're looking for the evidence that you're already doing these things. So like my future self is enjoying food without thinking that food is a problem.
And so If I am writing a plan, it made it easy for me. Hey, my future self isn't worried about the plan either. And so, or isn't worried about food for the day either, because she made a plan. So I'm going to go ahead and make a plan today and see how that does. In the beginning, I might be like, I still am thinking like, how is this plan working for [00:17:00] my good?
But I know that she's already figured it out. So like, I'm going to try some things and I'm going to figure it out too, because. She's already got it done. Um, maybe she likes walks. Maybe she has decided that the whole world looks more beautiful with a walk in the sun. And so, like, she's spending time putting some nice shoes on that fit her feet that are not rubbed through on the bottom.
So she keeps nice walking shoes because she enjoys like an afternoon walk and while she's out there walking Maybe she's listening to the birds. Maybe she's listening to her favorite podcast Maybe that maybe that's her favorite time because she listens to audiobooks And that's like her favorite time to get to have some time for herself some sunshine on her face And so everything you can do to get that to happen.
That's what you start doing and that's living into your future self. You do that again and again with all different things how you're eating what you're doing what you're enjoying [00:18:00] who's in your life What do your relationships look like? How are you responding? To people and so think through all of that and just write it down.
Like how is this person? That's me in the future already dealt with this. How is she dealing with this now if it came up again for her? And just keep thinking those kind of things. You're envisioning it and you're looking for evidence how it's already happening. It's so beautiful. Um, um, I think I said this but it's worth saying again because I love this one.
So as you believe you are her and she is you, you will know that you have already done this and it is inevitable. I love that word. It is inevitable that it is happening now, not just in the future, but now. And it's you, you now, and you, her, and it's happening. Are you ready to believe? [00:19:00] Believe so hard that obstacles are a mere pivot, like water rushing around rocks in the stream.
What everyone should know about, um, about the pivot, about the obstacles. So far, all we've learned is if it gets too hard, we either go smashing through it, which feels hard. Or we stop and we think it's a failure. The problem is that sometimes we think perfectionism is the goal, and that goal only leads to quitting making weight loss harder than it needs to be.
Mistakes are the goal. G, get weight goals out of your head for just a moment. If, um, if mistakes and collecting as many of them, and good effort. was the goal to show up. Knowing your future self has already figured this out, wouldn't you be willing to just make as many mistakes as possible? You wouldn't worry about it being perfect because you know it's already happened.
[00:20:00] It's inevitable. You would know that if this was a mistake, it's just one that's going to be collected because you're still getting the goal and you would keep going. So you're going to show up totally different. You just keep going. You would pivot. You would be flexible to try it another way. You would be the water and you would flow around the obstacle.
You would not feel the need to first plow through it or to avoid it. You would just flow right by. You would flow with such force because you know you're getting to your goal. I love that. I love that. I think I'd share that with you, but it was so good. definitely worth sharing again. So if you are ready, I am ready.
I am so ready to help you. I will help you practice and learn to believe. I will be there to coach you on everything, and together we will move you past the sabotaging habits and thoughts you have now. Many of my [00:21:00] clients come to me and do not even realize food isn't bad. It isn't what is sabotaging them, it is what they are thinking about food or what they are using the food to replace in their life.
I can help you truly enjoy food guilt free, guilt free and lose the weight you've only been able to dream of. I have a free gift for you. I mentioned it at the beginning. My gift to you is a next step quiz. I want you to start there and let's get started. Share this with a friend that you know needs to hear this.
Too many of my friends were making weight loss. Too hard, too hard to do. And now you have the answer to lasting weight loss that is completely doable. Don't hide this secret. Share it. I'll see you next week. Thank you for listening to the concierge weight loss podcast. Like what you heard today? Leave a review or share with a friend.
And check out the next step quiz where you'll find [00:22:00] what has held you back from lasting weight loss and what to do next. You will find the link to this and many other helpful podcasts and videos in the show notes. I can't wait to see you there.
