2022 - 9:2 Summer Wrap up - What's holding you back - Audio Public
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Coaching Kara podcast. I am Kara Hackleman. I'm a certified life and weight loss coach. I help people just like you lose weight for the last time. Primarily people are a little people pleasing, a little procrastinating, and maybe a little perfectionistic. I can help you overcome those so that you can finish losing weight and get out of your own way.
Join me each week to get a little motivation and a lot of inspiration.
This is the last month of the 20 pound down summer challenge. I really want to bring it home for you and eliminate anything that might be holding you back from getting that last bit of weight off for the summer. We're going to keep going. Summer doesn't mean we're finished. We're finished when we say we are, but I want to make sure we hit it hard and strong and drive it in so that we can get it before the end of the summer.
Let's [00:01:00] get started. Today is what's holding you back. That's what I want to talk about. This was brought up by a couple of different clients that I have. So they will recognize which ones they are whenever they hear this. But if they're having this as an issue, probably everybody else in some level also is, and just hasn't found the words for it.
All right. So what's holding you back? I'm going to ask you a question. What's in the way of having self confidence? Trusting that you are already as amazing as you are, what's holding you back. I have a client who was recently asked this in some program that she's also in for, um, something unrelated to weight loss.
That's a business type thing, but I loved it because it, it really hits home. Exactly with where so many people are. We're learning how to have self love, but yet we see it for other people, maybe [00:02:00] just not for ourselves. Right. We're learning confidence, but self confidence is just something that you already know exists.
And that's the part that we don't maybe have completely figured out yet. So then we add this part about trusting, trusting that you are already As amazing, not as we are telling you, or as amazing as you think you are supposed to be, but trusting that you are already amazing as you are. My favorite thing for the month.
What's in your way of having self confidence and trusting that you are already as amazing as you are. What's holding you back from thinking that. So I love this question. And if you spend some time with this, it's going to come up being whatever is holding you back, it's going to come up. So with another client, I was trying to explain, um, this kind of thing to [00:03:00] her.
She said. That she does not feel cute. She doesn't think that she's cute. Maybe the dress was cute. Maybe something else was cute. And I said, why can't you just think that you're already cute? Well, I have a tummy. Well, it doesn't fit, right? Whatever. I will be cute when that happens. And so I was like, what, what's holding you back from just already thinking you're cute.
You're already cute and you have a little tummy. You're already cute and. I loved that and word. So as you're learning this, practice that like, or I, I am already amazing and I'm still trying to lose a little weight. Doesn't make you less amazing. And so if it puts that qualifier in your brain for you, that's fine.
It. It allows movement and growth that weight loss to happen out of abundance because you're [00:04:00] already amazing. You're already enough. You're just wanting a little more, a little something extra, but it doesn't take away from anything right now. You're already cute. Even with a little tummy, you're already amazing.
Even at the way you are. So just starting to really settle in, get that self confidence and trust that you are already amazing. You are already cute. You are already beautiful. You are already whatever it is. If you need the and, put that on there. So what is happening? Are you relying, like you'll, when will you believe this?
Are you going to believe it when other people tell it to you? How many people have to tell you? That's one of my favorite things. People are like, well, other people should be telling me if they see changes in my body as I lose weight. Well, how many people do you need to have say it before you believe it?
Every [00:05:00] time someone tells you other people need to say it, why? Why do other people need to say it? These are your thoughts about yourself. So when you are relying on that validation from other people, you probably are not even going to believe it if they tell you. Learn how to start believing it yourself.
In the beginning you might rely on what other people say. Always pass it through your own filter. Always. See what you think about it. So you Not believing it. Why are you not believing it? Let's go there. Why are you not believing it? Why are you not believing you're already amazing? Why? Let that question really sit for you and figure out what evidence do you need for yourself to believe it?
Like I said, many times you can believe it for other people, you believe it naturally exists, and that you can believe that for [00:06:00] so many other people. Start with that. I had to believe that other people were worthy, and then it kind of poked holes in my story. If they're already worthy, why am I not? Why am I the only person that I think needs to prove their worth?
Why? Why as so many other people, why are other people beautiful? Even, even with extra 50 pounds on them? Why are, why am I okay with thinking they are beautiful, but I'm not? So poke some holes in that. Think about what evidence do you need for yourself? How can you create that evidence? Or how can you look for it?
Right? When you're learning something, Many times you don't just take it at face value, you really need to understand it. So what do you need to understand? Where can you create that evidence? Where can you find the evidence at? All right, history and past memories, right? Our history, our [00:07:00] past memories, those things that have happened to us, whenever, many times shape where we are now.
If you cannot believe, you are already amazing. Take a moment, don't live there, but take a moment and look into your past. Was somebody continually telling you you were not good enough? Can you believe that person was wrong? Can you just simply believe they were wrong? They were wrong for whatever reason they told you, they were wrong.
Maybe the person was doing the best they could, and for whatever reason, they told you things, maybe, maybe the person thought they were doing a kindness to you. Um, I know in a past video, I talked to a client who I don't remember if this was public or not. Um, she will not mind me talking about it cause it was definitely recorded for my members.
So, um, she had [00:08:00] A mother who wanted to put a swimsuit cover up on her because she didn't want the other children to make fun of her. Her mother thought she was doing the right thing and protecting her daughter. Her daughter heard that I'm not good enough and my mom doesn't think so. She's ashamed of me, embarrassed.
And so when you stop and look at where that past memory came from, and maybe even if you're going to, if you're going to play in the past, you're going to play in other people's Thoughts definitely make it to come out for your best. Why would your mom maybe have said that to you? Was she already? I have another client that we talked about her mother and these poor mamas, they, they, we, we blame so much on them.
I always think, what is my poor son going to have to need therapy for when he becomes an adult? But this other client, she. Had a mom who had always struggled with her own weight, my mom, including, [00:09:00] and this client's mom would say things or, um, you don't want to be, uh, too big or your spouse won't find you attractive or whatever types of things that her mother would say.
And so that kind of formed this, this belief system that she had. Understand it. Only play in the past. Only visit that to get some understanding for the future. We cannot change the past. It all happened exactly as it did. We cannot make any differences. Only gain some understanding to go forward. All right.
Understand your worth and value and where they come from. So to believe that you are already amazing. Where does your worth and value come from? So I am a, um, a Christian. I believe in God. [00:10:00] I believe that I was made worthy. I believe that I already had it from the moment I was born. I believe that I am already valuable and I can tell you, I did not start with those thoughts.
I thought you were, you were worthy and you were valuable, but me, I had to earn mine. And so I've explained this before. Think about a baby. A baby. Does not have to earn its value. It does not earn its worthiness, right? A baby exists and it is automatically worthy. Then you think of a little bit older, right?
So when babies are a little older, maybe let's just jump right to those teenage years, right? The mouthy teenage years. Are they worthy or more valuable if they behave? Are they worthy or more valuable for helping with the dishes? No, we appreciate those things, but they are absolutely worthy and valuable.
If something were to ever happen to them, it would be [00:11:00] terrible, right? If someone were to take something, their childhood or abuse them in some way, they are worthy and valuable because they exist. Then we jumped being adults and all that stuff goes right out the window, right? So as adults, we think that we have to earn it.
We have to earn so much money to be worthy or valuable. We have to do so many things for other people. We have to earn all of our worth and value. Not only do we have to earn it, but we can lose it. Maybe we had a bad day and we said something off, right? And so we are a terrible person. Have you thought that about yourself?
So when you think that you are capable of gaining or losing your worth, your value, it makes a big difference in how you view mistakes, how you view accomplishments, right? So when you start believing that you are [00:12:00] already good and anything you do cannot make you more good or less good, you're just good as is.
That will start blowing your mind. See where that comes from. So, the next part is practicing it to believe it. Are you not practicing it? Is that where you're at in this? What's holding you back from believing you're already as amazing as you are, as you actually are right now? Is it just the practicing it?
You've heard the words, you understand them, but you haven't quite put it into practice to really own it for yourself. Is that where you're at? Not practicing, believing it. Maybe that's the part that you start today. Um, some of the clients I have really love mirror work. Some really hate it too. When you're standing in front of a mirror and you're telling yourself, you are [00:13:00] amazing.
Sometimes people will say you are like you're telling yourself in the mirror, you are amazing, even though you have a belly, or you would be amazing if you didn't have a belly like whatever it is, but you get on this track of trying to speak that love and encouragement to you. Sometimes it's recommended that you put a photo of your family.
a photo of yourself as a child. So your family photos, your childhood photo. And then when you start to say things, you think, would I say any of these things to that family that I love? Would you say any of this to any of your children, your parents, your spouse? Would you let them say those things to themselves?
And so run it through that filter first. Then you look at your childhood photo and you think, would I say this to that child? That child is you. Why are you saying it to [00:14:00] yourself? And so that's a great place to start to realize that you're speaking unkindness, untruth to yourself. Begin saying what is true, even when it doesn't feel comfortable.
The more you say it, the more practice you'll have. And eventually, you'll believe it. Use a couple qualifiers if you need in the beginning. But remember, you are worthy and you are valuable. Let's go back to this. What's in the way of having self confidence and trusting that you are already as amazing as you are right now?
What's holding you back? Like what you heard today? Leave a review wherever you are listening and check out the free five day quick start course. Get started losing weight for the last time. You will find the link to this and many other helpful podcasts and videos in the show notes. [00:15:00] I can't wait to see you in the course.
