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[00:00:00] I was thinking about kids and the way that they spend their money. Maybe you have children or have at least witnessed them do this. You have given them 20 to spend on whatever they want. When you take them to the store, some children will go and want everything in the store. They will barely make it back to the toy section and they have already declared five things they have to have.
And.
I was thinking about kids and the way that they spend their money. Maybe you have children or at least witness them do this. You have given them 20 to spend on whatever they want when you take them to the store. Some children will go and want everything in the store. They will barely make it back to the toy section, and they have already declared five things they have to have, and usually [00:01:00] Any of it costs more than more than the money they have.
So you'd be at least paying tax. Maybe you have tried to get them to hold onto their money and look through the toys first, me making, before making a decision promising, we can go back and get something if they don't find what they want.
I was thinking about kids and the way that they spend their money. Maybe you have children or have at least witnessed them do this. You have given [00:02:00] them 20 to spend on whatever they want when you take them to the store. Some children will go and want everything in the store. They will barely make it back to the toy section and they have already declared five things they have to have.
And usually any of it costs more money than they have. So you'd be at least paying the tax. Maybe you have tried to get them to hold onto their money and look through the toys first before making a decision, promising we can go back and get something if they don't find what they want. really want. Then you have Children who almost frantically go up and down each aisle considering their options.
Maybe they even have to go back multiple times or even see a few things side by side before making their choice only to be full of anxiety in the choosing or remorse over their final decision that something might have been better or that they didn't make the right choice. Finally, there are the children who, like the second [00:03:00] child, have looked at every aisle, possibly multiple times or not, and still decide to hold onto their money in case they find something they want more later at a different store or some other time.
They liked what they saw, but not enough to settle on anything just yet. I was thinking about this after a conversation I had the other day with a client about urges. We were talking about how they were experiencing desire for food when they saw foods that They thought looked tasty. She said that she wanted to stop eating it because it would prevent her from losing weight.
I shared with her how I had recently been at the drugstore. And while I was waiting, I was looking around and they had all of their Valentine candies out. I think that the Valentine colors and the packaging are Extra pretty. I have said before, I am a bit of a chocolate snob. And one of my favorites is Ghirardelli.
They had [00:04:00] all the flavors and some that I hadn't tried before. I noticed that an urge, a desire to buy and eat the chocolates was coming. I explained that in the past, I would have bought a couple bags, big bags, and probably ate many of them and all the flavors. Now I noticed that I admired how pretty the packaging was.
And all the flavors, even appreciating that they had a bag that had two chocolate squares in it, instead of only those big bags, instead of reacting to the urge, the desire, I thought I could buy this two piece bag and put it on my plan for tomorrow. I liked that idea. It felt good. See, I used to just buy it and eat it.
Then when I started the program, I did it less. Now I am offering it to myself, like the children with the money to spend. I am looking at all the choices and making my decision. I walked around the [00:05:00] display probably three times trying to decide. Then, like I usually do now, I put my hand on my stomach and I remembered that I like how my flatter tummy feels.
I am not uncomfortable in my clothes or in my belly or my skin. I'm not bloated and I like the way it feels and looks. I have been fairly consistent with losing one pound per week and I really like that. Then I remembered that I usually have dessert each week on our date night. I like I, like the last child I mentioned, decided that I would save my money.
I would wait until date night and see if I can find something. I want more. I can always go back and get the chocolate from the drugstore. I will put a date night dessert or chocolate on my plan. And if the restaurant doesn't have something better, then I'll go back and get the chocolate and enjoy them.
I'll enjoy them because I [00:06:00] planned them. Or maybe I won't. Maybe by then I won't even want it. I used to be the first child who would spend their money without much thought. I would eat anything that I desired in any quantity at any time. Then I grew into the second child who really considered it and then made a choice, but I had so much anxiety about what I was choosing and when I was getting it and how often usually feeling deprived and restricted.
Now I have looked at my thoughts enough times and I have practiced delaying. Acting on my desires. So now I am like the last child who many times waits to spend their money for something that they really want. I wait when I have desire and hold out for something better. I sometimes, not always, Sometimes we'll wait, hold out for that desire, but [00:07:00] sometimes I don't even want it later when I get to the next day or date night.
Sometimes even then my flatter, not bloated tummy feels so good that I think what I planned is still not worth more than the flatter tummy. And I do not feel anxiety over any of it. I know that I am in control. I am deciding if and when I have it. I am not delaying from any feelings of guilt or shame. I am not deprived or restricted.
I am choosing to delay or not to have it at all. I am enjoying the possibility of the better, more desired dessert. And I'm also comfortable in not having it either. I know that since I I could always go back or not, whatever I want. This shows how my thoughts have transitioned from scarcity to an abundant mindset.
What child do you relate most to when it [00:08:00] comes to answering urges and desires? Can you see how delaying desire could have an even bigger reward, food or goals?
I was thinking about kids and the way that they spend their money. Maybe you have children or I've seen some do this. You have given them 20 to spend on whatever they want. at the store. Some children will go and want everything in the store. They barely make it to the back in the toy section and they have already declared five things they have to have, don't have money for any of it, and you're definitely paying for all the tax.
Maybe you have tried to get them to hold on to their money and just look through the toys first before making a decision, promising we can go back and get something if you don't find what you want. Then you have [00:09:00] children who almost frantically go up and down each aisle considering their options. Oh, maybe they even have to go back multiple times or, or, or see a few things side by side before making that choice.
Only to be full of anxiety in choosing or remorse over their final decision that something might have been better or that they didn't make the right choice. Finally, there are the children who, like the second child, have looked at every aisle, possibly multiple times, or not, and still decide to hold on to their money, just in case they find something they want more later, maybe at a different store or another time.
They liked what they saw, but not enough to settle on anything just yet. I was thinking about this after a conversation I had with a client the other day about urges. We were talking about how they were experiencing desire for food when they saw foods that they thought looked tasty. She said that she wanted to stop eating it [00:10:00] because she Thought it was preventing her from losing weight.
I shared with her how I had recently been at a drugstore and while I was waiting, I was looking around and they had all their Valentine candies out. I think the Valentine colors, the packaging are extra pretty. I have said before, I am a bit of a chocolate snob, and one of my favorites is Ghirardelli.
They had all the flavors, some that I hadn't even tried before. I noticed that I had desire and urge to buy and eat the chocolate. I explained that in the past, I would have bought a couple bags and probably ate many or most of them. All the flavors. Now I noticed, I admired how pretty the packaging was and all the different variety of flavors, even appreciating that they had a bag that had two small chocolate squares in it instead of only the big bags.
Instead of reacting to the urge, that desire, I thought I could buy this two piece bag and put it on [00:11:00] my plan for tomorrow. I liked that idea. I felt good about it. See, I used to just buy it and eat it. Then when I started the program, I did it less. Now I am offering it to myself, like the children with the money to spend.
I am looking at all the choices and making my decision. I walked around that display probably three times looking at all the flavors. Then, like I usually do now, I put my hand on my stomach, And I remembered that I like how my tummy feels. Now that flatter tummy, I am not uncomfortable in my clothes or in my belly and my skin.
I am not bloated and I like the way it feels and looks. I have been fairly consistent with losing about one pound per week. And I really like that. Then I remembered that I usually have dessert each week on our date night. I like The last child that I mentioned decided that I would save my [00:12:00] money. I would wait until date night and see if I could find something.
I wanted more. I can always go back and get the chocolates from the drugstore. I will put on my plan date night dessert or chocolates. And if the restaurant doesn't have something better than I will go back and get those chocolates and enjoy them. Or maybe I won't, maybe I don't even want them by then. I used to be the first child who would spend their money without much thought.
I would eat anything that I desired in any quantity at any time. Then I was the child who really considered it and then made a choice, but I had so much anxiety about when I was getting it and how often my choices, usually feeling deprived and restricted. Now, I have looked at my thoughts enough times and I have practiced delaying acting on my desires.
So now I am like the last child who many times waits to spend their money [00:13:00] for something that they really want. I wait when I have desire and hold out for something even better. I sometimes, not always, not even most of the time, but sometimes I don't even want it later when I get to the next day or the next date night.
Sometimes I just don't want it anymore. Sometimes even then my flatter, not bloated tummy feels so good that I think what I planned is not worth more than the flatter tummy. I do not feel anxiety over any of it. I know that I am in control. I am deciding if, and when I have it. I am not delaying from any feeling of guilt or shame.
I am not deprived or restricted. I am choosing to delay or not. I am having the possibility of the better, more desired dessert. And I am also comfortable in not having it. [00:14:00] I know that since I am choosing, I could always go back. Or not, whatever I want, this shows how my thoughts have transitioned from scarcity to an abundant mindset.
What child do you relate most to when it comes to answering urges and desires? Can you see how delaying desire, delaying the eating of the food could have an even bigger reward in your goals or in a food that's even better?
