hello! Welcome back! Last week, I kicked off a mid-year reset by talking about taking inventory and starting over.
Instead of asking how do I get back on track, we asked what's next, what have I learned so far, and what does this season of my life need from me now? Today, I want to talk about one of the biggest moments.
That causes people to abandon everything they've been working toward the scale when it stalls, maybe it's been 2 weeks or 2 months, maybe you've even gained a few pounds back.
And immediately your brain starts looking for an explanation. I'm failing, nothing is working, it must be my hormones, it must be the medicine I'm on, it must be something, maybe this just isn't even possible for me.
Or…
One that I hear often is, but Kara, I'm doing all the things.
Today I want to talk about that because I don't think the most important question is why has the scale stalled? The better question is now what?
There are two different now what's okay. So when the scale stops moving, I generally see one of these two responses. The first woman says, I've really let things slide. She knows she's stopped planning. She hasn't been drinking maybe her water. She's staying up too late. That's been me lately.
She's grabbing whatever is easiest instead of asking if she's even actually hungry. She knows that she's drifted.
Her next step is actually pretty simple. She doesn't need another diet. She needs a reset.
She simply needs to return to the habits that were helping her take care of herself.
But then there's this other woman, and honestly, this woman sometimes can be harder to coach, harder to convince, because she says, I'm already doing all the things. She is drinking her water, she is moving her body, she is planning.
Really great foods for herself. She's eating more intentionally than she ever had in her life. She's stopping at enough more often, not overeating. She's doing so much better than she was even six months ago. And here's the important part.
She is telling the truth. She really is. You are absolutely telling the truth if this is you, too.
So I recently had a coaching call where a client was frustrated and I've told her I'm talking about this where the scale wasn't moving. She said, I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing. And I agreed with her. I didn't say, no, you're not. I said, you absolutely are.
Because she was, she had built habits, she was taking care of herself in ways that she never had before, and she deserved tons of credit, tons of kudos for all of that.
I think sometimes we become so focused on what isn't happening that we completely forget to celebrate everything that is.
So maybe you are drinking enough water for the first time in your life. Maybe movement has become part of your routine.
Maybe you've learned to stop it enough.
Maybe you're eating because you're actually physically hungry instead of emotionally hungry much more often than you did. Those things are so important. They matter, they count, they have changed you.
Just because they feel normal now doesn't mean they aren't valuable anymore, in fact.
The things that got you here deserve credit.
The next thing is what gets you there. Let me say that again. So the things that got you here deserve credit.
And then, the next things…
are what are going to get you there. So, then I asked her another question. I said, now that you have done such a great job building these habits, what do you think the next thing might be?
Not because she'd failed, not because what she was doing wasn't enough, but because.
Growth always asks something new of us. Okay, so to change, to grow.
something has to change, and it doesn't mean what you were doing is not good. It doesn't mean that it's not enough, it's just maybe not enough to get us to the next step. We gotta tweak it a little.
So, I call this the trap of certainty. Our brains crave certainty. We want someone to tell us exactly what to eat, exactly how much, exactly what workout to do, exactly how long it will take.
Because certainty feels reassuring, it feels safe, even if it isn't true.
Sometimes certainty sounds like I'm failing. Sometimes certainty sounds like I'm doing everything.
One certainly blames ourselves, and one protects ourselves.
Because if I'm already doing everything, then there isn't anything left to look at.
Maybe it's my hormones, it's something else outside of me. Maybe it's my medication or menopause, it's stress.
Now, before you misunderstand me, those things.
Absolutely influence weight loss, they matter, they're real, but if we stop there, we stop learning, and that's what might keep us stuck.
I think…
I think sometimes saying I'm doing everything becomes a way to protect ourselves from shame or frustration, definitely from blame, because if there's nothing else to try, then none of this feels like it's our.
responsibility or our problem, or I'm not. I'm not to blame anymore. It's out of our control, and while that feels safer in the moment, even if you don't realize it, it feels safer in the moment.
It quietly takes away our hope. It takes away our ability, our willingness. Because if there's nothing left to learn, there's nowhere left to go. Nothing left to try.
What I love about coaching is that we don't have to choose between blame and denial. We can choose curiosity. So instead of saying, I'm failing, or I'm doing everything we can say, I've done so many things. I've done so many things well.
I wonder what the next little adjustment is, that next little tweak. My client has heard that word tweak for a while now. So there's a completely different conversation. Maybe you have mastered the water and wonderful.
Now, maybe it's sleep. Maybe sleep has become consistent, and now maybe it's planning dinner, or maybe planning has become easy, and maybe it's just noticing when you're snacking or evening snacks or desserts.
Maybe you've built all those habits and now maybe your body needs a little more protein or maybe your portions have slowly changed without you realizing it. So the point isn't that I already know the answers, that I already have enough information. The point is.
Let's figure it out. It's simple like that. Let's just figure it out. Let's tweak some things, not complete overhauls. So, this is exactly where coaching becomes different from.
a diet, or another diet that you've tried, right? A diet assumes everyone needs the same answers. Coaching assumes your next step depends on you.
Two women can have the exact same stalled scale and need completely different adjustments.
One might simply need to start planning dinner again. One might be sleeping 5 hours a night and wondering why she's craving sugar every afternoon, while another may have built all of those habits and now she's ready to take a look at portions or protein or.
Something she hasn't even considered yet. So coaching isn't about giving everyone the same checklist.
It's about asking better questions until we discover your next step.
So I see this in myself too. Let me tell you something.
I do this. I do this too. I build habits. Eventually, they become automatic. And then.
I stop paying attention to them, or I get bored with them, and you know I start slipping on the scale, or I definitely have slipped in my habits, and I'm wondering, maybe I need something new. I, as a weight loss coach who's lost over 70 pounds.
And kept it off.
You know, since 2019.
I sometimes find myself looking for the next best diet, or the next recipe, and then I have to stop, I have to slow down, I have to be like, it's not a new supplement, it's not a new workout, or some new strategy.
What I really need, sometimes.
is that I don't need something new, right? I don't. I really think I need it, and I don't. I just I need to become curious again. Just a little reset. Pay attention. So lately I've realized that my planning looks different for me than it used to.
I don't need to plan every single meal anymore. My breakfast and lunch are very automatic, but dinner and desserts or snacks, those are where I've become a little looser, um, over the last few months. So instead of telling myself, I need more discipline, I need to start over, I…
I need to find something new. I'm just asking, what's the next thing I can try? So for me, it was just choosing a few dinners that I…
could have, and I do that when I order groceries. I'm not even doing that every single day. So it's not because my old way, where I planned every meal, everything, every single thing that goes in my mouth that wasn't wrong that worked at that time.
But my life has changed. So…
Maybe if you're wondering where to start, maybe you're listening today thinking, but what should I actually do? Here's where I'd begin.
If you've drifted, I would choose one habit to return to, not 10, just one. Maybe that's filling your water bottle every morning.
Maybe it's deciding on the 3 dinners like I am before you even order your groceries.
Maybe it's asking yourself if you're physically hungry.
before you eat. You don't change anything else, you just ask, am I physically hungry? You decide that before you eat.
So, if you are already doing those basics, don't try harder this week. Just pay attention. Notice where you're most hungry. Notice…
When you're eating because you're physically hungry and when you're eating because you're tired or stressed or simply out of the habit of what that looked like before, notice your energy and your sleep. Notice where food feels easy.
and where it still feels challenging. So remember, your goal this week isn't perfection. It's information, lots of it. Let's gather all the information, because information gives you something to work with. So your next step, if the scale has stalled.
Now what?
Well, that depends.
Have your habits stalled? Or has your learning stalled? If your habits have drifted.
We already know everything we need to know, right? Let's get back into our habits.
But if your habits are still strong, let's just be curious.
Stay curious forever. That's what I love. Stay curious, keep learning, keep tweaking. Either way, we're not starting over, so don't assume that you have failed or that this isn't going to work for you anymore, whatever it is.
And don't assume you've already figured everything out. Instead, ask yourself, what am I doing really well? Give yourself so much credit, like a whole dance party, then ask.
What can I learn from where I am today? Just, and finally, what, what's the next thing I can try? Let's figure out what to learn, and then let's just try something small, one adjustment, one little experiment, an opportunity to learn, because that's how lasting.
Weight loss is gonna work, not by finding the perfect plan or starting over again and again, but by becoming someone who knows how to adapt, someone who trusts themselves enough to keep learning.
Someone who believes that real confidence isn't knowing the answer, it's trusting that I'll figure it out, that we will figure it out. And if you're listening today, maybe you're thinking, I know there's probably a next step and I just can't see it.
That's exactly what coaching is for. Sometimes we are simply too close to our own lives to notice what's changed. We don't need another diet. We don't need someone handing us another meal plan or workout. We need someone asking better questions.
Someone helping us see what we can't see ourselves.
If that is where you are, I'd love to help. I offer free coaching calls where we'll talk about what's already working, what you've learned, and definitely what your next step might be. So whether you decide to work together with me afterward or not. My goal is that you leave that conversation with more clarity and more hope.
than when you started. So, you can schedule your free coaching call with me using the link that's always in the show notes, that's always in my bio. It's www.coachingkara.com/freecall.
Thank you so much for spending part of your day with me. So next week we are going to talk about something I don't think gets discussed nearly enough.
why consistency starts to feel boring, why we lose interest even when we know these habits work, and how to keep growing without constantly chasing that next exciting thing. So until then, if the scale has stalled.
Don't panic. Get curious and trust that you'll figure it out. I'll see you next week.
