Have you ever thought? I understand that I still want the cookie. I understand I probably shouldn't have it. I understand that if I want weight loss, I understand that. But what happens if I still want the cookie? I still want the ice cream.
Then what? Right? If you've ever had that thought, you're not alone. This month I've been talking about cravings and understanding what your body is saying it needs, what your emotions might be asking for, and learning how to make intentional choices around food instead of just.
eating automatically. But you don't need to have listened to all those other episodes to get something from today's conversation.
Today, we're talking about one of the biggest questions I hear from women trying to lose weight.
What if I still want it?
I think we've been asking the wrong question all along. For years, I thought the goal was to stop wanting the cookie, to definitely stop eating the cookies or the ice cream, to stop thinking about dessert, to stop craving chips.
to stop wanting something after dinner. I thought successful women with weight loss somehow reached this magical place where food didn't matter anymore. It just didn't matter. They weren't thinking about it. They didn't want it. They definitely didn't eat it.
And then I'd look at myself and think, well, clearly, I'm not there yet. But after years of coaching women and walking through my own weight loss journey, I don't believe that's the goal anymore.
I still want dessert. I still eat ice cream. I enjoy it. There are still days when a lemon blueberry scone sounds amazing, and I'm okay with that now, because I've realized.
Freedom isn't… food freedom isn't about never wanting the food. Freedom is trusting yourself when you do.
For a long time, diets taught me that there were only 2 choices, you eat it.
or you don't. And depending on which of those choices I made, I told myself a completely different story.
You might do this too. If I ate it, I would say, I've ruined everything. Here I go again. I have no self-control. I will never figure this out.
But if I didn't eat it, I was nicer. I was kinder, right? You probably are, too. I felt proud. I was hopeful.
maybe this is finally the time I'd lose weight. Isn't that interesting? I want you to hear that, okay? The food, and eating it or not, it wasn't determining whether I felt successful.
the story that I was attaching to the food and eating it or not. That was. And so, when success or failure depends on one type of food, or whether or not you ate it.
That's a pretty exhausting way to live.
So today, I don't see only two choices. I see options, a whole bunch of them. Maybe I eat it. Maybe I do.
maybe I have a little bit less, I have a smaller portion, or a bite. I'm always like, is this a bite? Do I need two bites? Is it just a little bit? Or do I want the whole thing? Like, I get to decide that.
Maybe I save it for tomorrow, because tomorrow I will actually have the time and the space to be able to enjoy it, or I'll be able to get the thing I actually want if I'm willing to wait till tomorrow.
Maybe what I want, I can level it up. Maybe I can have it with some fruit instead of chocolate, or maybe I can, you know, maybe I can just make it a little bit different, a little better, just a little bit of a level up for something.
And sometimes I decide what I actually needed was I was tired and I need to go to bed or.
sometimes, you know, I just want it. Like, that's the bottom line. All the other things sound great, but, like, sometimes it's just that is calling my name, and I want it, I feel like I need it, and that's all that's gonna do the trick.
And then, you know what? On those times, I enjoy it. I intentionally enjoy moan-worthy every single bite.
So now I pause and consider. That's not all that was. It's just considering. It's the pause that you take to allow yourself to consider. The pause isn't there to make me say no. That's not the right answer. The pause is there to remind me that I have choices.
Before I decide, I pause and I ask myself a few simple questions.
What do I really even want? What do I need right now? What choices am I capable of today? Some days I'm not capable of it, that's fine, and then I make the choice that best fits this moment.
A better choice for this moment, not the best choice forever, but the best choice for this moment. Not that perfect choice, not the choice someone else would make or expect me to make. The choice that best fits this moment.
That is real life, that is what having a normal relationship with food looks like, and honestly, I think that's.
That it's what maintaining weight loss for the rest of your life looks like too.
Some days you're well rested, you're well hydrated, and you're feeling great. Clicking on all, all, all, what do they call that? I'm clicking on all gears, right? Other days you've had a hard week. Your kids have been sick, work has been overwhelming, and you're running on maybe five hours of sleep.
Those moments, if that, right? Those moments aren't the same. So why would I expect myself to respond to them the exact same way?
It doesn't mean I stopped caring about my weight loss goals or my health goals. It means that I make an informed decision instead of an automatic one.
And here's the beautiful part. Every one of those moments is a level up from where I used to be.
So maybe today all you do is you do the pause before you eat. You just stop and consider it. That's a level up. Maybe you realize that you're stressed before you reach for the pantry and you just realize that. It's just realizing nothing else has changed, but you realized it.
That is a level up.
Maybe you still eat the cookie, but you enjoy it instead of inhaling it while feeling guilty. That's a level up.
Maybe, um, maybe you stop halfway because you've had enough, and you're like, it served its purpose, that's really all I want or need. That's a level up.
Maybe you decide to save the rest for tomorrow. That also is a level up. They're all just moments. None of these moments are failures. They're all just opportunities to practice.
They're all helping you become someone who makes decisions instead of just reacting on autopilot. I think one of the biggest shifts for me.
has been realizing that self-control isn't about saying no.
I always thought control, right? It sounds like, oh, make myself do it. Self-control is actually about trusting myself enough.
to even remember that I have choices.
That's what allows me to enjoy food without feeling controlled by it. That's what allows me to lose weight without feeling deprived. It allows for the food and it allows for the weight loss. It allows me to enjoy birthday cake without believing that I have truly failed at all.
It allows me to choose not to have dessert without feeling like I'm missing out. I get to have dessert if I want to. I don't have to feel like I'm missing out. I can also not have the dessert and still not feel like I'm missing out.
It allows me to keep learning instead of constantly starting over because every thoughtful decision strengthens something much more important than just willpower. It strengthens the trust that I have in myself.
And trust is built just one decision at a time. Not perfect decisions, but thoughtful decisions. I think that's, um, why this series has really been so much more about.
about. It's just more than cravings. This series has been about more than just cravings. Cravings gave us the place to start at the beginning of the month. But what we've been building is confidence.
Confidence that you can pause. Confidence that you can think through the idea of, like, what would happen and what do I want? And just think through it, not just eat it on autopilot. Confidence that you get to choose and that you can choose and.
Whatever that choice is, it's a good choice.
Confidence that no matter what you choose, you'll know how to respond to it, because the truth is, whether you eat the cookie or not, another decision is coming, and another one after that.
Your success isn't determined by one moment. It's shaped by hundreds of thoughtful moments over time.
So what if you want it? That's okay.
That's okay. Wanting it isn't the problem. Believing you can't trust yourself with what you want, that's what keeps so many women stuck.
This week, I want you, I want to invite you to practice something different. Don't try to have fewer cravings. Don't try to eat perfectly. When you want something.
I just want you to commit to a pause. That's it. Just a pause. Ask yourself, what do I want? What do I need? And what am I capable of today?
Then make the choice that best fits this moment.
Whatever that choice is. And then enjoy it. Learn from it. And remember, your next choice is always waiting for you. As we wrap up.
this series this month, I hope you leave with one belief that you didn't have before.
You don't have to become someone who never wants the cookie. That is not the goal.
The goal is simply having, um…
Simply to become someone who trusts herself when she has a cookie. Because the kind of trust doesn't just change how you eat. That kind of trust, it changes how you live.
If this…
If this series has resonated with you and you're realizing you'd like some support applying these ideas into your own life, I would love to help you.
you can schedule a free coaching call with me, www.coachingkara.com/freecall. We'll talk about where you are, what's been keeping you stuck, and what your next steps could look like. Until next time, remember.
You don't have to be perfect. You just have to remember you have a choice. I'll see you.
