[Kara Hackleman] 08:31:52
Good morning.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:31:57
There we go. There we go. There we go. All right.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:32:00
What's the trade? Have you ever noticed, um, how easy it is to say it's worth it? So when we're talking about food, like, I know I've said this, like, it's a justification sometimes, right? Because I really want something. It's worth it.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:32:14
I've said it. You probably said it. Maybe it's vacation. It's my birthday. It's Friday. I've had a stressful day. It's worth it. And sometimes.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:32:25
That food, that thing you want, it absolutely is. Skipping your exercise, skipping, you know, going to bed on time because you want to watch a movie, whatever it is, maybe it is worth it.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:32:36
It absolutely is. I don't think the goal of weight loss is to never enjoy food or life again.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:32:44
I don't think that's realistic. I don't think it's enjoyable. I don't.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:32:49
I don't think that at all. I think food absolutely can be part of celebrations, vacations, date nights, Mexican food and margaritas. That's my girl's night out birthday cake with your family, a dessert you've genuinely been looking forward to.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:33:05
I don't want to coach women to stop enjoying those moments so that they can lose weight.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:33:10
But over the past year, I've noticed something even about myself.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:33:14
I was using the phrase, it's worth it.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:33:16
which really it's worth it. It doesn't matter. Those kind of would go back and forth for me. It's worth it. And I wasn't asking worth what?
[Kara Hackleman] 08:33:28
I realized I was only looking at one side of the decision, the reward I would get if I ate it. I wasn't paying attention to what I was trading for it. And that started to change things, because every choice.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:33:42
It has a trade on both sides of it, every single one, not just with food, with money it is, with time, relationships, with sleep, every yes.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:33:53
also has some kind of a no. The question is, do I know what I'm saying yes to, and and what I'm saying no to think about it. If you were shopping, and you found maybe a jacket, and and you absolutely loved it. It was.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:34:08
I don't know. Maybe 500 or $1,000. Right? You loved it. You probably wouldn't just ask, do I like it? And of course you liked it, and that's why you're considering buying it. You would probably think a little through further. Right? It's 500 to $1,000. This jacket.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:34:25
You'd ask, what am I giving up if I spend this money? Maybe it's a weekend away. Maybe it's part of your vacation savings. Maybe it's groceries.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:34:34
You're naturally thinking about that trade. How can you get this? What are you having to trade to be able to do it? But with food, we don't usually do that. We just think.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:34:46
I want it. And that's the end of the conversation, right? I've started thinking. I've started having a different conversation with myself, not because I'm trying to talk myself out of eating, because I want to make a decision that I'll feel good about. So now I ask myself.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:35:03
Three questions.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:35:06
Question number one, what am I saying yes to if I eat this? Not, am I allowed to have it, or should I have it? Just, what am I saying yes to?
[Kara Hackleman] 08:35:15
Maybe I'm saying yes to enjoyment or maybe it's a celebration or maybe it's for comfort, it's for connection. Maybe it's simply this just sounds really good.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:35:26
That's okay. I want to acknowledge the value instead of pretending it isn't there. Then I ask question number two, what am I saying no to if I say yes to this food?
[Kara Hackleman] 08:35:39
Notice, I'm not trying to make myself feel guilty. I'm simply looking at the whole picture. If I say yes to this.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:35:46
What future reward am I trading? Maybe I'm saying no to waking up feeling proud of myself tomorrow. Maybe I'm saying no to the momentum I've been building this week.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:35:57
Maybe I'm saying no to keeping a promise I made to myself or saying no to feelings, feeling a little more confident tomorrow morning in my ability and what I'm doing. Those things all have value too.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:36:12
And then comes my favorite question, question number three, which one feels more valuable today?
[Kara Hackleman] 08:36:19
Not which one is right, not which one makes me a good person. Definitely not. What would someone else choose or think I should choose today? Which one feels more valuable to me? Sometimes the answer is going to be.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:36:34
the dessert or the cake or the Mexican food and margaritas with friends. Sometimes it's that special dessert that I've been excited to try all week. And honestly, I'd make those trades again, again and again, because the connection, celebration, the memories.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:36:51
That was what I was saying yes to. But other times, really, honestly, more times than I want to admit.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:36:58
It's a random handful of candy that someone left in a in a jar at work, or something, or cookies that are laying out at my mother-in-law's. I wasn't even thinking about it 5 min earlier, but when I slow down enough to ask myself these questions.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:37:14
I realize that trade.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:37:17
That specific trade, it doesn't feel as valuable anymore. I think this is where we've gotten stuck for years. We've been asking, is it worth it? But almost everything has some value. The cookie has value. The ice cream definitely has value.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:37:33
the candy. The question isn't whether it has value. The question is, is it more valuable than what I'm trading it for for today?
[Kara Hackleman] 08:37:44
That's a completely different conversation. And here's something I've noticed. Sometimes I ask myself all three questions, and I still eat the dessert.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:37:53
Do you know what? It feels completely different, though, because I chose it. It was an intentional decision. I wasn't standing in the pantry, eating straight from the bag, wondering what happened. I wasn't on autopilot. I made the trade intentionally, my eyes wide open. I knew exactly what I was doing.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:38:11
And oddly enough.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:38:12
I trust myself more in those moments than I used to. Not because I ate perfectly and I avoided food, or because I swapped it for something that was, like, a healthier version, but because I chose consciously.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:38:26
I think that's the freedom we're all looking for, not because someone who never wants dessert, that's not who I want to become, not becoming someone who says no all the time, becoming someone who knows that I have a choice.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:38:39
Who sees the whole picture, who understands every decision gives me something, and every decision.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:38:47
Asks her to give up something.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:38:50
That's life, it's not punishment, it's just life. So this week I want you to try something the next time you catch yourself saying it's worth it.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:39:01
Pause just for a moment and ask yourself what am I saying yes to, what am I saying no to, and which one feels more valuable today.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:39:09
There isn't a right answer that will be right every single time. There isn't a perfect answer. There is only your answer today, and the more often you practice making intentional trades.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:39:23
the more you'll trust yourself around food. So, if today's conversation made you realize that you've been making food decisions on autopilot, or maybe you've never had a way to think through them, I would love to help.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:39:36
Sometimes one conversation can completely change how you see food cravings in yourself.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:39:43
If you're ready for support that's practical, compassionate, and built around your real life, I'd love to talk with you. You can schedule a free coaching call at www.coachingkara.com/freecall. We'll talk about where you are, what's keeping you stuck.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:39:59
and what your next step could look like. Next week, we're going to wrap up this series with a question that I think every woman has asked herself at some point.
[Kara Hackleman] 08:40:07
What if I still want it? I'll see you then.