I want to talk about why today's needs keep beating tomorrow's goals.
Maybe you've heard yourself standing in front of the cupboard or the refrigerator. You're looking at something and you're like, don't eat it, don't eat it. You don't need it. Just just walk away. And then you're.
And maybe you eat it, sometimes you don't. Have you ever had that conversation with yourself? I have. Many times. More times than I can count. And what usually came after.
Why can't I just do it? Why don't I have any motivation, or why don't I have any willpower? If I really wanted to lose weight, I'd just say no.
I said that to myself so many times. I must not really want to lose weight. And the truth is, I did.
But right. But that was the next part. I didn't say no. Maybe you've had those thoughts, too. For years I believed them. I believed the problem was discipline. I believed some people just had more self-control than I did.
But I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I don't think that's actually what's happening. I don't think we're losing to the cookies and the ice cream. I think we're losing.
to something else.
Have you ever noticed that the moment that you really want something.
tomorrow suddenly disappears. Think about it. Maybe it's 8.30 at night, or you're sitting on the couch, dinner is over, you weren't planning on eating anything else, and then…
The ice cream starts sounding really good, right? Or maybe it's candy or chips. All those goals that you had this morning, they get really quiet. The woman who woke up saying, this is the week I'm getting back on track.
Where did she go? The woman who wanted to lose weight, the woman who wanted more energy to feel more confident, it's like she's vanished, and the only thing that matters is the bowl of ice cream. Have you ever wondered why?
I have. I totally have wondered. For a long time, I thought it meant I didn't want my goals badly enough.
Now I think something completely different. I don't think tomorrow disappeared. I think today got louder.
That one thought has changed so much for me because today's needs are very real. They're immediate. They are standing right in front of you saying, I am tired, I am overwhelmed. Maybe I am lonely or bored.
I just want something that feels good right now. Meanwhile, tomorrow is whispering.
Remember how good you'll feel if you don't.
Guess who's easier to hear?
I've noticed this in my own life. When I'm sleeping well, or I've been drinking enough water, I'm just clicking along. When I'm eating satisfying meals. When Clint and I are connected.
When I've laughed, I've taken care of myself. It's actually easier to hear that tomorrow, Kara. She has a voice. It's louder. I can picture how I want to feel tomorrow morning. I can picture the confidence that I'm building.
But when I'm exhausted, when life feels heavy, when I'm running from one thing to the next, and I'm feeling disconnected, today's voice gets really loud.
Not because I'm weak, but because I'm running on empty. And I think this is where we get weight loss wrong.
We tell women they need more discipline, more willpower, more motivation.
But maybe that's like asking someone who's dehydrated to just stop thinking about water.
What if the real issue isn't that you're failing to choose tomorrow? What if today's version of you.
has needs that aren't being met.
That changes the conversation, doesn't it?
A few weeks ago, I started, um, thinking… I… I shared something I realized about myself with you. I had already eaten dinner.
I had dessert, I wasn't hungry, but I wanted more. I just wanted more. I kept thinking about that because I wanted to know why. And then it hit me. I didn't want the enjoyment of the evening to end.
It wasn't really about… I think that night it was ice cream, and then it was followed by some candy. It was about extending the feeling. One more handful meant one more little burst of enjoyment before the day was over.
That realization is huge, because suddenly I wasn't asking, why am I so weak? I was asking, what am I really needing right now?
Those are very different questions.
Here's what I think. Sometimes food is carrying way too much responsibility. We ask it to help us to relax.
To comfort us, to reward us.
To be part of the celebration, to entertain us, to make a hard day better, to make a good day last longer, that's a lot from.
to ask for food. No wonder it feels so important. No wonder cravings get loud. Food is trying to do jobs it was never meant to do.
And before you hear me wrong, I'm not saying food can't be comfortable.
comforting, not comfortable. It can be comfortable, too. Right? It's I'm not saying food can't be comforting. It absolutely can. I'm not saying that, you know, dessert can't be part of a celebration. Of course, of course it can. I'm saying, when food becomes our primary source.
Of comfort or reward or enjoyment, then every craving starts feeling urgent because we're asking food to meet needs that aren't being met anywhere else.
One of the biggest shifts for me has been realizing that taking care of today's Kara.
actually makes it easier for tomorrow, Kara, to succeed.
Getting enough sleep.
Eating enough during the day, maybe calling a friend, laughing, going outside, reading a book.
Having a conversation with Clint. Those things don't eliminate cravings, but they make food less responsible for my happiness today. And that changes everything. So, this week, I want you to experiment with something. The next time you really want a cookie, or ice cream, or maybe it's chips for you.
Instead of asking, how do I get more willpower? How do I just make myself do this? Ask yourself, what does today's me.
Neat.
Maybe you need food, or you need rest, maybe you need connection, maybe you need to cry or laugh.
Maybe you just need a break. Whatever the answer is, just start there. Because I've learned something I hope you'll remember. You can't consistently ask tomorrow you to win when today's you feels neglected.
Today's you deserves care too, not criticism.
Next week we're going to talk about one of my favorite questions. When you decide something is worth it, what's the trade? Because every yes gives you something, and every no gives you something. And learning to see both sides of that decision has completely changed the way I think about food.
If today's conversation made you realize that you've been trying to have more willpower when what you really need is support, I'd love to help.
Sometimes one conversation can help you see things from a completely different perspective.
If you're tired of starting over, tired of feeling like food is in control, or simply want a personalized plan that fits your life, you can schedule a free coaching call with me. We'll talk about where you are and what's been keeping you stuck, what your next steps could look like.
You can schedule that at www.coachingkara.com/freecall. I'd love to meet with you. Until next week, remember, today's you deserves care, not criticism. And the more care…
For today's you.
the easier it becomes for tomorrow's you to thrive. I'll see ya.
