234. Urges Aren’t Emergencies (How to Handle Them Without White-Knuckling)

April 10, 2026

Urges can feel intense and urgent—but they aren’t emergencies. In this episode, Kara teaches a simple way to handle urges without giving in or fighting them, so you can feel more in control around food.

Episode Transcript

[Kara Hackleman] 10:15:56
Have you ever had the thought, I just can't stop thinking about food? All of the food, all the time.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:02
And it feels urgent. Like, you need it right now.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:06
That feeling. That's what most people call an urge.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:09
And most people only know two ways to handle it.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:13
Give in, eat all the food,

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:15
Or, try to fight it. Resist it. They call it white-knuckling. But neither of those actually work long-term.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:21
So today, I'm going to show you a third option.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:29
We're talking about urges, and I want to start by saying this. An urge doesn't mean that you need to or have to.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:36
to eat. It means something needs some attention.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:40
This is the moment when you're thinking about sweets after dinner. You keep walking past the break room at work, or you're driving home already planning what you're going to eat as soon as you get home.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:51
And it feels like I need this. I deserve this. I want this.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:16:56
Most people think, I shouldn't feel this way. I need more willpower.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:00
If I was doing this right, I wouldn't have all these urges.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:04
So, they either give in immediately, eating the food, or…

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:08
They try to resist it as long as possible.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:12
But here's the problem. If you've always given…

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:16
You feel out of control.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:18
And you always resist!

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:20
It builds some pressure. It builds that. Ugh!

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:24
Enya. And eventually,

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:26
You end up right back where you started.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:28
Because an urge isn't the problem, it's just a signal.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:32
An urge is a nudge!

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:34
Sometimes it's quiet, and sometimes it's overwhelmingly loud.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:38
Sometimes it's physical hunger, even.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:41
But sometimes it's not.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:43
And the goal isn't to make urges disappear. The goal is to learn how to respond to them.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:49
So, here's what I teach my clients.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:51
Not eat, not resist.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:54
But just pause, and give yourself permission.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:17:58
Just stop for a moment, take a breath,

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:03
Am I physically hungry? We're going to ask ourself that.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:06
Am I physically hungry? Or is there something else going on?

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:09
Instead of saying, I can't have this.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:13
say, I can't have this.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:16
just maybe, do I need it right now?

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:18
Or could I just wait a minute?

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:21
This isn't about restriction. This is about creating space.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:25
Because when you create space, you give yourself a chance to decide.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:30
In the beginning, most people can't tell the difference.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:33
Everything feels like hunger. So they start asking.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:36
Then, they start noticing.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:39
Then, they delay a little, and then…

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:42
a little more, and eventually they realized, I don't have to answer every urge.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:48
the second I get one,

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:50
And I don't have to answer it with food.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:53
And that's where everything changes, because now, food isn't control. It isn't…

[Kara Hackleman] 10:18:58
controlling you, and you're not having to control it.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:02
You are.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:04
in control of yourself, in your needs, in your wants.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:07
And then… listen.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:10
Because sometimes you're still gonna eat. That's part of it.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:13
This isn't about being perfect, it's about learning.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:16
You don't need to fight the urge. You just need to respect it, respond to it, even.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:22
Respond to it with what it actually needs.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:25
If urges are feeling constant for you.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:28
If you feel like you're always thinking about food, it's not because you're failing.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:33
Because no one has shown you how to handle this, and that's something we can change.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:37
You can book a free call with me at www.coachingcarra.com.

[Kara Hackleman] 10:19:42
forward slash free call. You don't need more willpower. You need a way to handle what's actually going on. And that's exactly what we're building.