Confidence and self-trust aren't just nice-to-have skills for very accomplished, put-together people.
They are basic human needs.
Feelings that everyone is entitled to feel.
When you don't feel confident, when you don't trust yourself, everything feels harder than it should.
You second-guess everything. You overthink decisions.
You create more and more confusion, especially around food and weight loss.
And here's what I want you to hear clearly. This doesn't mean something is wrong with you.
It means somewhere along the way, you learned to stop trusting yourself.
And now, you're trying to lose weight AND rebuild that trust without any guidance or safety.
Today, we're going to talk about how that trust actually gets rebuilt.
And how rebuilding it is what makes weight loss not only happen,
but happen without it feeling like,
a punishment that you have to endure.
Most women don't wake up one day and think,
I don't trust myself anymore.
1But it happens. It happens slowly.
through dieting, through unachievable rules,
through emotional, from now on, declarations.
I know this because this was me.
I didn't always have the words for it at the time.
But looking back, I can see it clearly.
I used to make big emotional promises to myself.
This is the last time.
From now on, I'm doing it right.
Or, I'm never doing this again.
all of those big, big things, right?
And for a little while, that energy, that… it felt powerful, motivating.
But it wasn't. So when I couldn't keep the promise,
I didn't adjust it.
I criticized myself. I bullied myself, and I told myself I should be able to do this.
And that wasn't sustainable either.
So, eventually, I dismissed the entire effort.
And that almost always led back to overeating.
Especially snacks and desserts.
Sometimes it was from rebellion. Sometimes it was for belief, but either way, it was always…
It was relief from myself.
Every time that cycle repeats, your brain learns something. See?
I can't trust myself. I can't even do what I say I will.
That message adds up, and that's why motivation and willpower don't fix this.
They don't rebuild trust. They just require you to make your promises louder, with more energy,
More intensity, and usually…
more criticism. But trust, it doesn't come from the volume, it comes
from evidence. Here's the shift that changes everything.
Make promises that you can keep.
Not forever promises, those are grandiose, right?
Not perfect promises, those are too hard.
And not promises made out of punishment.
We don't need punished. Promises that fit where you are.
Promises that fit where you're capable of, what your life
actually looks like right now. When you keep a promise, even a small one, you build evidence.
evidence that you follow through.
That you don't need pressure.
And your body is safe with you.
Efforts don't get dismissed.
When you're looking for evidence. You see them, you find those efforts.
That evidence is how consistent action happens.
And consistent action, not intensity, is how weight loss works.
Yes, it's exciting when the scale moves, and yes, it's easy for that to feel reassuring.
But nothing is ever wasted when you're developing habits that take care of you.
Because when the scale isn't moving, when it's slow, or when it fluctuates…
What you lean on is trust.
You trust that what you're doing matters,
Even when it's quiet.
When I work with women, this shows up all the time. They're motivated, they have a goal, and without realizing it, they instantly start trying to move too fast,
too hard. They make everything harder than it really needs to be.
So I help them slow down. Not to stop progress,
But just to make it safer.
And here's how I know when someone stops feeling safe.
they start saying things to me like,
I don't know what's wrong. I don't know why I can't do this.
I don't know what to do. I don't even know if I can do this.
And if that continues long enough, the next thing I'll hear, I don't even think I want to lose weight anymore. Maybe I'm happy where I'm at. Maybe I've lost enough.
But when I ask, if I could snap my fingers, and it was already all done, you're already on the other side.
Would you still want it?
And the answer is always yes.
That tells me the desire didn't disappear, but safety…
safety disappeared.
Usually because things became too restrictive, too hard, too fast.
We've been taught that weight is our responsibility.
that we did this to ourselves, and that losing it should feel hard, even like a punishment.
If you really want it, you'll stick with it. That's what we've told, right?
Even if we don't consciously believe that it has to be hard, or that we're punishing ourselves, it shows up in how we treat ourselves.
So women often tell me, I thought I was just signing up to lose weight with you.
But what actually changes is who they become.
They start trusting themselves.
They speak up. They recognize their needs. They stop fighting.
to be seen or heard.
A lot of times their relationships change.
Their confidence grows, and their identity expands.
they'll start saying things like, I'm a woman who?
And that sentence has endless variations.
A woman who enjoys movement, a woman who likes being outdoors.
A woman who feels comfortable being seen.
A woman who has hobbies.
Knows what she likes. I definitely, I love when I hear. I'm a woman who takes care of herself.
And none of that comes from forcing habits, just to lose weight.
It comes from becoming someone who keeps promises to herself.
If confidence and self-trust have fell out of reach for you,
I want you to know this. They aren't personality traits.
They aren't rewards for being good enough, and they aren't reserved for just a select, special few.
They are basic human needs.
And if they were interrupted or taken away as you grew up, they can be relearned as skills.
One honest promise at a time. That's how you do it.
And if you want help doing that, with support,
clarity and safety. That's exactly the work I do as a weight loss coach.
