14:42:15 This woman…
14:42:21 This episode is for every woman who has ever said,
14:42:25 I'll just start over in January.
14:42:28 Or, I already blew it!
14:42:30 If that's you, welcome. You are exactly who this episode was made for.
14:42:35 Because here's the truth. The holidays aren't the problem.
14:42:39 All or nothing thinking is, and we're breaking that today.
14:42:44 Let me describe the cycle.
14:42:47 what it actually looks like. You go to an event,
14:42:49 You eat a little more than planned.
14:42:52 You feel uncomfortable, you feel guilty,
14:42:54 And then your brain says, whatever, I blew it, I might as well go all in.
14:42:59 It's not a party unless I get to have all the things, and I've already messed up, right?
14:43:03 And then the next morning comes, and…
14:43:06 You're frustrated, you're heavy, you're bloated, you're mad at yourself, and you tell yourself, it's fine, I'll fix it tomorrow.
14:43:13 Or I'll start fresh Monday, or it's the holidays, I'll just be good in January. Does that sound familiar?
14:43:19 This is not a lack of discipline.
14:43:22 This is human behavior under pressure, and we're going to interrupt that.
14:43:27 pattern. No more pressure.
14:43:29 So, your brain loves all-or-nothing thinking.
14:43:32 It shows up when you're overstimulated, exhausted, if you're doing too much, right? All the holidays.
14:43:39 Worried about what others think, you're feeling behind, or feeling out of control, you're expecting
14:43:45 perfection. Your brain loves black and white answers. It feels simpler. I do this
14:43:51 Or I do that. It's this or that, right? All in or all out.
14:43:55 is easier than the gray area. But the gray area is where real weight loss happens.
14:44:01 So, my coach said something that changed me forever, and I've been saying this again and again, so you might have already heard me say it once, but if so, it's worth repeating.
14:44:09 When you say, I'll start over tomorrow,
14:44:12 you're skipping the rent today, and paying it tomorrow with a late fee.
14:44:17 That late fee looks like guilt.
14:44:20 and shame, self-judgment,
14:44:23 frustration, overthinking, and usually,
14:44:27 More overeating.
14:44:29 Here's what's wild. We think overeating right now gives us freedom, but it actually gives us more emotional burden
14:44:36 Tomorrow, it's that late payment.
14:44:38 So, instead, ask, how can I enjoy this right now and feel good tomorrow?
14:44:43 Not… I can't have this, or not that I already messed up, just…
14:44:48 How can I make this choice? One…
14:44:51 I feel good about today and tomorrow.
14:44:54 That question brings you straight into the middle, the balanced part, the sustainable part.
14:44:59 So, what the gray area looks like.
14:45:02 It looks like… let's see, in real life, it would look like you had dessert earlier?
14:45:08 And you can still have some now, but you're just gonna eat it slower.
14:45:13 Um, it's gonna look like that you're not quite hungry yet.
14:45:17 And you're gonna say, well, I'm just gonna wait maybe 10 minutes, or maybe just 20 minutes, and see if I get a little hungrier. But thanks for offering the food!
14:45:25 Maybe the gray area looks like you overate.
14:45:29 But you're not going to punish yourself, you're a little bit curious about maybe why it happened.
14:45:34 what the circumstance of it was, right?
14:45:38 Um, or the gray area looks like you're stressed, and so you pause before grabbing food, or that…
14:45:45 You forgot to plan anything, so you choose one thing that sounds good,
14:45:50 And just eat a little bit of it.
14:45:52 Right? You feel…
14:45:54 pressure. Maybe the gray areas, you're feeling pressure, so you just take a break.
14:45:59 Um, or you want the special cookie, so the gray area is that you have it with intention instead of all of them.
14:46:08 You have one cookie or two cookies with such intention.
14:46:13 This is not about perfection. This is presence.
14:46:17 This… not a present, it is a present when you are present, right? We are in…
14:46:23 presence. This is presence.
14:46:25 This is how your new identity grows. Someone…
14:46:28 who listens to her body, honors her hunger, and trusts herself even when things don't go exactly as planned, even exactly as we thought they should be, or perfect would look like.
14:46:41 So, here's the four-step reset.
14:46:45 Your anti-spiral plan. Use this anytime you feel off track.
14:46:49 Number one, pause. What's happening right now?
14:46:52 Name it without judging it. What's happening?
14:46:55 Number two, identify.
14:46:57 What emotion am I in? What am I feeling?
14:47:01 What triggered me? Is it hunger? Is it… am I tired? Is it stress or pressure?
14:47:07 And then let's just learn! What do I know now that I didn't 5 minutes ago?
14:47:12 What can I do differently next time? I love this one. Learn, because
14:47:17 We didn't know all of…
14:47:19 The options. We didn't know all of the obstacles when we were making a plan.
14:47:24 We went with what we thought was the best plan, and now I have more information. So, what do I know now that I didn't
14:47:32 Whenever. And then the last one, number 4. I want you to move on!
14:47:36 I'll eat again when I'm physically hungry, not when you feel guilty, not when you feel bad, not…
14:47:42 When you're trying to fix anything, just when you're hungry.
14:47:46 That's the reset. No drama needed. So…
14:47:51 Maybe… let's…
14:47:52 Let's do some examples. Maybe you have a cookie exchange.
14:47:56 You planned to taste one cookie, then you had four.
14:48:00 Old you might say, ugh, I ruined it. Whatever, I'll start on Monday.
14:48:04 But the new you says, wow, that got away from me.
14:48:07 Okay, I learned something. Cookie exchanges?
14:48:11 are overstimulating. Fun and exciting, and way overstimulating. Next time, I'll…
14:48:16 I'll sit to enjoy mine instead of standing in the chaos. No shame!
14:48:20 Just some information. Maybe it's a work potluck.
14:48:25 You didn't plan ahead, and everything looks good, and you made a huge plate.
14:48:30 All you might spiral all afternoon. New Yoo says, I ate more than I needed. Next time I'll scan the table first before serving my plate.
14:48:38 Simple, learned, done.
14:48:40 Alright, maybe it's Christmas Eve dinner. You're tired, you're emotional, you're overwhelmed.
14:48:46 And you go back for seconds. Even though you aren't hungry.
14:48:50 The new you says, I need comfort tonight.
14:48:53 What would have helped me ahead of time?
14:48:55 More rest, a break, a breather…
14:48:58 You gather information, not guilt.
14:49:00 So, a woman who loses
14:49:03 weight sustainably. I'm gonna tell you, she's not perfect. I've lost over 70 pounds, I am not perfect.
14:49:09 I still overeat sometimes, I still make mistakes.
14:49:13 She isn't rigid. I…
14:49:16 absolutely need options. I need the space to be able to make a mistake.
14:49:20 And she isn't scared of messing up.
14:49:23 I learned from all of my mess-ups.
14:49:25 So, a woman who loses weight sustainably isn't perfect.
14:49:30 But what she is, she is curious,
14:49:32 and calm. She's reflective and flexible.
14:49:36 She is willing and patient.
14:49:39 And she asks, what does this teach me?
14:49:42 What would help me next time?
14:49:44 How do I want to treat myself tonight?
14:49:46 This identity is forged during the holidays, not outside of them.
14:49:52 So,
14:49:54 Repeat after me. I don't start over.
14:49:57 I just continue forward, one choice at a time.
14:50:01 And if you do overeat, here's your new script, right?
14:50:04 That was more than I needed. Whew, it's okay. I'll eat again when I'm hungry. And I learned something today.
14:50:11 This is emotional maturity. This is healing your relationship with food. This is how you stop ever needing to start over again.
14:50:20 If you are ready to drop this all-or-nothing, unsustainable cycle this year,
14:50:26 Grab your free Roadblocks to Weight Loss Guide at www.coachingcarra.com.
14:50:32 forward slash roadblocks, or book your holiday game plan call with me.
14:50:36 Free call, CoachingCARA.com forward slash free call. You don't need to wait until January.
14:50:42 You can start feeling confident today. And I'm right here to help you do it.
14:50:46 I'll see you next week.