14:33:22 Hey friend, welcome back! Today we're talking about something that brings up all the emotions for people trying to lose weight.
14:33:28 Holiday parties. Now, holiday parties can feel like a minefield. Food everywhere. Drinks flowing, people watching.
14:33:36 people commenting, and somehow we're supposed to be joyful and be good at the same time.
14:33:42 But here's the thing, you don't need willpower to get through holiday parties. You need self-trust.
14:33:48 and a plan that doesn't feel like a diet. It feels…
14:33:52 Like, support. Exactly what you'd want to do, right?
14:33:55 Let's get into it. So let's start with some truth. Holiday parties bring out a perfect storm of triggers.
14:34:02 Old habits, family dynamics,
14:34:04 Social pressure, emotional energy,
14:34:08 Decision overload, and fear of missing out.
14:34:11 And, most people walk in telling themselves, I'll be good!
14:34:16 I'll just…
14:34:18 use willpower, I'll get through it. I won't eat too much.
14:34:22 And that works for maybe, what, 10 minutes?
14:34:26 than real life hits, because willpower drains fast.
14:34:30 And self-trust, that's what lasts.
14:34:32 And that's what you're building.
14:34:34 So before you walk in, I want you to give yourself just 30 seconds.
14:34:38 Maybe you're in the car. Maybe it's before you ring the doorbell.
14:34:41 So, this is your car moment. You're sitting there, hand on the door, and you check in with yourself. You ask,
14:34:47 What is the purpose of this party for me?
14:34:50 And no, not blowing it is not the answer.
14:34:54 Is it connection? Or celebrating something? Being with people you care about.
14:35:01 actually relaxing for once.
14:35:03 And then next, ask yourself, what would happen? What…
14:35:07 Um, let's see, what would it help me feel good physically? There you go.
14:35:13 What would help me feel good physically?
14:35:16 comfortable, satisfied, balanced.
14:35:18 Not stuffed, not deprived.
14:35:21 I then want you to ask yourself, how do I want to feel when I leave?
14:35:25 Do I want to feel like I enjoyed myself?
14:35:28 Do I want to feel peaceful or proud of myself?
14:35:31 Um, like, you showed up for yourself,
14:35:34 And you had a great time. Like, a normal eater who enjoyed what mattered.
14:35:39 This sets your nervous system before you even walk in. Your brain loves clarity.
14:35:45 Your body, it loves the calm.
14:35:48 Your choices love intention. So, this 30-second pause gives you all three.
14:35:54 Alright, okay, so now let's talk about something I love teaching. It's the velvet rope theory. I'm sure you've heard me talk about this before, but picture this. You are the VIP host of your own holiday experience.
14:36:07 Not everything gets past the velvet rope.
14:36:09 Your mouth has the velvet rope across it, okay? So, only the things that are really worth it.
14:36:15 The things that make this celebration…
14:36:18 special. The foods you would actually feel sad to skip. Most people walk in thinking, I can't have this.
14:36:25 I shouldn't have that. It's bad if I eat that.
14:36:28 No, flip it. I want you to ask instead.
14:36:31 What is truly velvet rope worthy?
14:36:35 Is it Aunt Susan's fudge that she only makes once a year? Is it that favorite holiday cocktail you get at this event?
14:36:42 Is it one specific appetizer that you look
14:36:45 forward to. For me, I used to love when my friend Susie made these.
14:36:49 Stuffed mushrooms. They were sausage stuffed mushrooms. I don't like mushrooms any other time most often, but I loved when she made those.
14:36:55 So, most people eat everything, because they're afraid to miss out.
14:36:59 But they don't actually like half of the stuff they're eating.
14:37:03 So, here's your new plan.
14:37:05 Choose your velvet rope foods.
14:37:07 Eat them slowly, and enjoy them.
14:37:10 Fully. The women I coach have heard me say many a time,
14:37:15 Moan Worthy. That's how you enjoy them.
14:37:17 You don't owe anyone a heaping plate of foods that you don't even want.
14:37:22 This is freedom. This is intention. This is how you eat like someone who trusts themselves.
14:37:28 This is what normal eating is what we want it to look like.
14:37:32 Because let's be honest, normal eaters, we probably don't really want to be like them either.
14:37:37 Alright, let's talk about pausing without making it dramatic, without having a big siren, letting everyone in the whole place know what you're doing.
14:37:45 Sometimes when you're in a loud room, full of food and people, your brain, it needs a second.
14:37:51 I do often.
14:37:53 Here are your pause buttons.
14:37:55 go take a bathroom break. Um, say, I'm stepping outside for some fresh air, I'll be right back.
14:38:00 Get a water refill, right?
14:38:02 He got a 2 for there, you get a break, and you're doing something great.
14:38:05 Maybe you text a supportive friend, or you take a quick walk to the kitchen, or the hallway, or any other room.
14:38:12 Uh, maybe you need to go get something out of your purse or your coat.
14:38:15 When you pause, you go into that pause button area, right?
14:38:20 You ask yourself, am I even actually hungry?
14:38:23 Do I just need maybe some less… less stimulation?
14:38:27 Do I want this food, or is this pressure?
14:38:30 Am I eating to avoid talking?
14:38:33 To somebody specific?
14:38:35 Do I need a moment to breathe?
14:38:37 Taking 30 seconds to reset, it's not weird.
14:38:41 Diet brain thinks pausing is weird.
14:38:43 Normal eaters do it all the time.
14:38:46 probably didn't even recognize that they were doing it.
14:38:49 Let's talk about the comments, because people will have them, right?
14:38:55 holiday parties bring out food pushers.
14:38:57 Diet police, people projecting their own insecurities onto you.
14:39:02 The, you're being so good, people! Or the one cookie-won't kill you people.
14:39:07 Here's what helps. You don't need to explain yourself.
14:39:10 You don't need a speech, and you don't need permission.
14:39:14 Here are simple phrases you can use.
14:39:17 I'm good, thanks. Or, you know, uh, maybe later.
14:39:22 I'm just keeping it light tonight, but that does look so amazing. See? You just gave him a compliment with it.
14:39:29 Uh, maybe you say, I'm… I'm still deciding what I want tonight.
14:39:33 Or maybe you say, I already decided what I want tonight.
14:39:36 I'm looking forward to one thing.
14:39:39 Uh, maybe you say thanks, but I'm good.
14:39:41 whatever it is, the more you trust your choices, the less their opinions even touch you.
14:39:46 And if they do comment, it says more about their relationship with food than yours.
14:39:51 So, before you head home…
14:39:54 Maybe on your way out, or once you get in the car, ask yourself, how do I feel right now?
14:39:59 What worked tonight? What felt harder than I expected?
14:40:04 What did I learn about myself?
14:40:06 This reflection is where the magic happens.
14:40:09 This is where you build confidence.
14:40:11 Not through perfect choices,
14:40:13 But through understanding your choices.
14:40:16 This is how self-trust grows. So…
14:40:19 If you want more help building confidence around food this holiday season, grab the free Roadblocks to Weight Loss Guide at www.coachingcara.com forward slash roadblocks.
14:40:29 And if you want a personalized holiday game plan, just
14:40:33 book a free call with me, www.coachingcarra.com.
14:40:37 forward slash free call. You deserve to enjoy the food, the people, and your body.
14:40:42 All at the same time. And you absolutely can.
14:40:46 I'll see you next week.
